Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Cardiologist and Neurogist

September 18, 2014

Been a busy week with doctors appointments.

Good news with the neurologist. Had an MRI done on my hear about a month ago. Got the results on Monday. Well the tumour is still there but hasn’t grown which is good. Way back about 14 or 15 years ago, they believe the tumour triggered epilepsy. I was having seizures until they put me on Dilantin. I have been seizure free for 11 or 12 years. They are considering trying to reduce the medication level. Great if it works.

Cardiologist, not quite so good. Heart is still in A Fib. Very irregular beat and still in the 120’s while at rest. They are planning a different procedure to shock the heart back into rhythm. Use the defibrillator paddles. A good jolt could shock it back to normal.

Feeling fine just very tired with very low level constant chest discomfort

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Thank you Trent

September 10, 2014

New medication seems to having some affect.  Chest discomfort has gone from constant to often. Heart still thinks I am running in a marathon, beating fast and crazy. But, I am feeling better. Back to see the doctor next Tuesday.
Have to keep busy so “I” have taken on a new project, building raised flower gardens across the front of the house. There is some digging and a lot of hard work with heavy lifting. “I” am doing a very good job and it will look very good when finished. That is my story and I am sticking to it.
Now my nephew Trent may see things a little differently. His story may well be a little different. He may actually claim he is doing all the work while I in fact just sit there giving instructions.. We all know there are always two sides to every story.
Trent you are a good man, doing a great job and we are so appreciative.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Pacemaker?

September 6, 2014

Had another appointment at the Heart Failure Clinic. I really have to commend and thank everyone there. All are so professional, so friendly and encouraging. A really nice group of people. I was going to joke that it is almost worth having this heart failure issue just to be able to visit with them. But, naw as nice as they are I would still much rather not be going there.
Medication hasn’t worked and dosage has been again increased. Heart rate still seems to think I am running hard all the time. There is almost constant chest discomfort but a manageable level.
Overall feeling pretty good. Getting my mindset back in line and that feels good. How many times have I stressed the importance of mindset and a positive attitude. I allowed that to falter but am getting it back.
For the first time a pacemaker was mentioned as a possibility. That will do nothing about the overall heart failure issues but help with this additional discomfort and most importantly reduce risk of a stroke.
It is a good day.
Still waiting on word about Vi’s surgery. Her pain is getting worse with physical limitations increasing. Based on pain level she is much worse off than I am. I hope and prayer her surgery will be soon.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – How can I help you say good bye

August 31, 2014

I happened across a song by Patti Loveless. The lyrics just really hit me. How do I help you to say good bye? I copied the lyrics from google, hope I am not enfringing on any copy right laws if so sorry.
I am really feeling worn out and tired. Maybe a bit of a pity party going on, I am tired of constantly feeling tired. I see the Heart Failure Clinic on Thursday. The new medication doesn’t seem to be doing a lot. Heart rate is still galloping away. Still have the almost constant chest discomfort. To describe it as pain would be over stating it. It is more a quite noticeable uncomfortable feeling. I think if that level O’s discomfort was coming from any other area of the body, you could almost just ignore it. Knowing it is from your heart makes it harder to ignore. Last few days the “discomfort” level has been a little more than other days and just has me thinking.
Came upon this song. The lyrics reflect some of my thoughts.
Suggestions anyone/everyone

How Can I Help You Say Goodbye Lyrics

Download “How Can I Help You …” Ringtone
Through the back window of our ’59 wagon
I watched my best friend Jamie slipping further away
I kept on wavin’ till I couldn’t see her
And through my tears I asked again, “Why we couldn’t stay”

Mama whispered softly
“Time will ease your pain
Life’s about changin’
Nothin’ ever stays the same”

And she said, “How can I help you
To say goodbye, it’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to cry
Come let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye”

I sat on our bed he packed his suitcase
I held a picture of our wedding day
His hands were trembling we both were cryin’
He kissed me gently and then he quickly walked away

I called up mama and she said
“Time will ease your pain
Life’s about changin’
Nothin’ ever stays the same”

And she said, “How can I help you
To say goodbye, it’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to cry
Come let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye”

Sittin’ with Mama alone in her bedroom
She opened her eyes and then squeezed my hand
She said, “I have to go now my time here is over”
And with her final words, she tried to help me understand

Mama whispered softly
“Time will ease your pain
Life’s about changin’
Nothin’ ever stays the same”

And she said, “How can I help you
To say goodbye, it’s okay to hurt and it’s okay to cry
Come let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye”

Read more: Patty Loveless – How Can I Help You Say Goodbye Lyrics | MetroLyrics

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Read more: Patty Loveless – How Can I Help You Say Goodbye Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Me, an answered prayer?

August 24, 2014

I had a very unusual experience yesterday. We live on a quiet residential street. We have lived here for about 11 years. Over that time period there have been 4 or 5 occasions when a home has sold.
As soon as I see the new neighbours, I always make it a point of stopping over, introduce myself and welcome them to the neighbourhood. Vi always has some baking of some sort in the freezer. She fills up a plate with goodies, I take them as a token welcome gift. OK, yesterday it was a loaf of banana bread.
The house across the street just sold and yesterday the new owners arrived and over I went.
The Lady of the house (memory guy can’t remember her name) answered the door. She seemed, I am not sure, surprised I guess to see me.
I just introduced myself, welcomed them to the neighbourhood, told them how nice the area was………
Now, I was only there for 3 or 4 minutes. I have turned to leave and she said words to the effect: “wait I have to tell you something. I was just in the house saying a prayer. I was praying that our new neighbours be nice. I had literally just said amen and the door bell rang and here you are, welcoming us”.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – heart still whacky

August 22, 2014

Had the appointment at Heart Failure Clinic. New medication hasn’t worked as hoped. Explains why am not feeling any better. Dosage being increased. Being referred for a different type of procedure used to stop at atrial Fibrulation. Heart rate while at rest still in the 120’s. It speeds up, slows down with very irregular beat. Beat twice, miss one, beat 5 times miss 2, just can’t seem to decide what it wants to do.
This new procedure they are scheduling me for is different. I have never even heard of it. I am reading up on it and will post more about it. Cardiac ablation.
Our hearts as do our entire bodies are run by electrical impulses/messages sent by the brain, telling the particular organ what to do. The wiring in my heart is shorting out. This is an added wrinkle to the existing condition. Not dealing with this greatly increases chances of a stroke.
I will post more as I get a better understanding. But in a nut shell, they go in and actually destroy some of the healthy heart tissue. This being done to regulate the electrical impulses part of the heart, regulating the speed and regularity of the beat

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – MRI from the patients view

August 19, 2014

Heart rate is still in the 120’s while at rest. Causing minor chest discomfort. Very tired and short of breath. Taking the additional new medication for 4 days with no noticeable effect. Back to the clinic on Thursday where situation will be re-evaluated. I think it is a side effect of the medication. Would be over stating to say I am feeling sick, just not well.

An MRI is something I think we have all heard of but how many have actually experienced it. I had one and thought I would describe the experience. I don’t know if procedures vary but this was my experience.

An IV is put in your arm. At some point a dye will be injected to help with the clarity of the pictures. I was told when the dye was going in through the IV but felt nothing from it.

The MRI machine looks like a long hollow tube. The inside lining of this tube is a mass of specialized cameras, you are not even aware of them. Although they are quite noisy. Provided ear plugs take care of that.

You lay on this long stretcher type bed that is used to slide you into the machine. During the procedure it is important you lay still so as not to blur pictures. My MRI was on my head and neck. My head and neck were totally immobilized within a rigid neck brace with towels packed in the sides to ensure no movement was even possible. Next over my face was placed what I can only describe as looking like the “gridiron” face covering on a football players helmet.
All set and in you go into the “tube”. Took approx. 45 minutes. All you have to do is lay perfectly still. That is it nothing more to it than that.
No problem right. I think this is all in my head but as soon as I was immobilized in this way, my nose began to itch, then my chin, my cheek and you can’t scratch that itch, that can drive you crazy.
Now just await news from the doctor.


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