Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Fantasy Bucket list is coming true

October 22, 2014

Really for no particular reason I checked the site stats this morning. I am humbled, shocked and amazed 498,217 hits, wow. I feel so honoured that so many people have visited my little site.
An item on my fantasy bucket list is to hit 500,000. I mean 1/2 a million hits. I really am shocked. My heart felt thanks goes out to each and everyone. Here, I have met so many wonderful people. Some may have visited once or twice others have visited for a while. Some I have come to consider dear friends as they have journeyed through so much of this with me, the highs and the lows. You can never know how much this has meant to me. Often lifting my spirits. To me it has been an added bonus if as I responded to a comment, I may have helped someone. This has been such a blessing.

I have never asked for anything here on the blog other than at times prayers for someone in need. I thank all that responded.

Well, I am going to ask for something now. A second item on my bucket list was to have received 10,000 comments. Now this one is lagging behind. I ask please help me achieve that fantasy bucket list item, 10,000 comments in total.

If you read this please leave me a comment. I have often heard, “I didn’t comment as I had nothing meaningful to say”.

Now let’s clear that up. Every comment is meaningful to me. Even something a simple as just saying hello is meaningful. It tells me you are out there and read what I said. That these numbers aren’t just people maybe even accidentally clicking in and quickly leaving.


Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Venting – dead babies – warning graphic

October 22, 2014

I really need to vent. I am upset, discussed, plain mad…..

It was on the news yesterday and in the newspaper today. Right here in Winnipeg, actually less than a mile from our home, a terrible discovery was made in a storage locker.
I can’t believe it. The decomposing bodies of 3-4 newborn babies. I am appalled just don’t know what to say. To say I find it disgusting is such an understatement.
They say everyone involved in the discovery from the employees of the storage unit business, police, EMT’s are traumatized. I can’t even imagine, this is all just beyond belief.
Police say more information will be released today. I am torn. I want to hear more but at the same time I don’t. Even thinking about it is just to disturbing.


Visit the dying Yes or No

October 17, 2014

I often recommend always reading all comments yet I know there are those that don’t. I got long winded in the response to a comment today.I think it is an important topic so I am copying the comment and my reply. Please let me know what you think

Jasmine says:

October 17, 2014 at 5:50 pm (Edit)

My cousin is dying ,she doesn’t want to see me.Doesn’t answer my calls.I heard from family that they angry with me about something that was not even my fault,I helped my cousin by being there for her and now she ignores me.Should I still go to visit her ,I’m scared she might close the door on me and that will break my heart.Can anyone have any suggestions?

Hi Jasmine my heart and prayers go out to your cousin, the immediate family, extended family and all involved. Is am so sorry to hear of your cousin’s condition.
First off though understand, I am not a doctor nor a therapist. I am just a regular guy sharing my thoughts and feelings based on my own. When it comes to a situation like this it becomes very personal for each individual involved, each will react and deal with it in their own way. Emotions are running very high which may cause us to react in the heat of the moment in ways that are totally out of character. Understanding of that is very important.
Obviously, I know nothing of the circumstances that have lead to these apparent hard feelings. There is nothing you can do about past happenings, you can’t change the past. All we can change is how we go forward.
If your cousin knows she is dying, likely her emotions are all over the map and can even change from minute to minute. I think the best thing, to support her in her struggle is to respect her wishes in this time of likely her greatest need.
You say you would be devistated if you showed up and were turned away, very understandable. I have to wonder what emotions would be triggered on the other side of the door. The stress or what ever it may cause your cousin who is already carrying such a heavy load. As hard as it is for you I would suggest for now, respect her wishes by not adding to her burden. Now is a time to be focusing in on the wants and needs of the patient doing what ever we can to make it easier for them. As well intentioned as we may be we don’t want to add to the burden the patient is already struggling to deal with.
I would suggest possibly sending her a card or letter. In that letter open your heart and express all your positive and loving feelings. Make it a letter of loving support, don’t even mention what ever it is that is causing the hard feelings. A message of loving support. Possibly then end it with a comment like. “If you feel up to it I really would like to visit.”
You will have then done what you can, you bared your soul, opened your heart and expressed all the love and support you can.
Be prepared as you may or may not get a response. If by chance you don’t let it go, knowing you did everything you could under these so difficult times
Bill


Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Feeling better

October 11, 2014

This past while purely from a medical point of view hasn’t been a lot of fun. My heart seems to think it is the drummer in a rock band beating it’s own and often very different rhythms. Some times very soft (have difficulty even feeling the pulse) other times must be like the drum solo (I can feel it pounding and banging away so hard, I almost think it is trying to break its way out of my chest). I think it must be playing rock and roll, the beat is fast at times very fast.

Over all these years my blood pressure has never been an issue. It was always like 117/75 or within 2 or 3 numbers of both top and bottom. I am assuming it ties in with the A Fib gobies up and down like a yo yo. Top number will be in the 160’s an hour later in the 90’s. Either way it has my head spinning. Doctor’s have been steadily increasing the dosage of a new medication, seemingly with no result. This has gone on for a couple of months now and I really just have not felt well.

It just takes time for the medication to really kick in, become ingrained in your system. My heart rate at rest, Monday – 126, Tyesday – 118, Wednesday – 98, Thursday 84. Still room to improve but getting better and with that I am feeling better.

I sometimes get teased about being a “high end junkie”. I take about 30 pills a day. No none of it is any of the good stuff, all coming through my various doctors. Read all the potential side affects. It is enough to drive you nuts. Just read a joke that gave me a good laugh.
“All medications seem to come with a whole list of potentially negative side effects. Just once I would like to read of a potential side effect being extreme sexiness.”


Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Letters/videos to leave behind

October 4, 2014

I really haven’t been feeling so spry this past while. Heart rate while at rest is still in the 120’s. Doctor’s keep increasing the dosage of the new medication. Doesn’t seem to affect heart rate but is lowering blood pressure. Last evening 90/78. When it is that low it just has me very light headed and dizzy. See the Heart Failure Clinic on Monday, see what they have to say. Have constant chest pain. Should more likely say chest discomfort. An aching feeling just enough to be annoying.

I haven’t been blogging but I have been writing. Letters to those I will be leaving behind. Actually, trying to get high tech. Lol. Apparently I can use the IPad to record videos of myself speaking. Going to try that out.


Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Cardiologist and Neurogist

September 18, 2014

Been a busy week with doctors appointments.

Good news with the neurologist. Had an MRI done on my hear about a month ago. Got the results on Monday. Well the tumour is still there but hasn’t grown which is good. Way back about 14 or 15 years ago, they believe the tumour triggered epilepsy. I was having seizures until they put me on Dilantin. I have been seizure free for 11 or 12 years. They are considering trying to reduce the medication level. Great if it works.

Cardiologist, not quite so good. Heart is still in A Fib. Very irregular beat and still in the 120’s while at rest. They are planning a different procedure to shock the heart back into rhythm. Use the defibrillator paddles. A good jolt could shock it back to normal.

Feeling fine just very tired with very low level constant chest discomfort


Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Thank you Trent

September 10, 2014

New medication seems to having some affect.  Chest discomfort has gone from constant to often. Heart still thinks I am running in a marathon, beating fast and crazy. But, I am feeling better. Back to see the doctor next Tuesday.
Have to keep busy so “I” have taken on a new project, building raised flower gardens across the front of the house. There is some digging and a lot of hard work with heavy lifting. “I” am doing a very good job and it will look very good when finished. That is my story and I am sticking to it.
Now my nephew Trent may see things a little differently. His story may well be a little different. He may actually claim he is doing all the work while I in fact just sit there giving instructions.. We all know there are always two sides to every story.
Trent you are a good man, doing a great job and we are so appreciative.


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 266 other followers