Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Urgent prayer request

I was left a comment that touched me very deeply. I know many do not read all the comments left unless they are attached to the most recent posts.

Joy is a young lady who’s mother is battling cancer. Joy has honored my, us by sharing some of her inner most feelings. I am posting her comment and asking please for prayers and comments of support.

Joy Says:
December 18, 2009 at 5:43 am

My mother has been fighting cancer for 2 years now. The cancer started in her bowl and is now in her liver and lungs…and is growing.

When i am at work i am fine. But as soon as i get home and see her my heart begins to ach and i feel like i am dying inside slowly.

People always say that i am brave, but really i am not. I am sick of the uncertainty .. of fearing the worst after each CT scan . Of watching my mother in pain!

Its not fair. You have a mother for a reason. To take care of you, to guide you through your life, to feel the joys and sadness with u. To love you just the way you are.

Its been 2 years of her fighting and she is tierd. I cherish everything about her- they way she smells, the way she smiles, the way she hugs me when she thinks i am sleeping. To think that someday i will begin to forget the way she looks or the way she speaks is unbearable for me.

I dont know how anyone who has written on this blog is coping with actually loosing someone when i can not even cope with the possibility of loosing my mother.

I am scared, that sometimes i lay awake next to her while she sleeps, listening to her breathing.. taking in the sound of her lifes breath. To not hear that sound anymore will kill me.

I am 22 years old and have an older sister who is now married and is not there anymore. I have a younger sister who keeps to herself and a younger brother who does not understand.

Last night my mum asked if she could sleep in my bed. As she lay next to me she said that she was not scared of dying if that was what God had in store for her. She said that she was scared to leave my younger sister and brother behind when they are still so young. She told me that if anything happens to take care of them first always. I promised her that i would and that she need not worry.

It took everything i had not to cry as she spoke- but as she feel asleep- i stayed awake listening to her breathing.

Fear can destroy you.

Cancer will kill you.

But faith will cure you!

… i am strong for my mum. She will never know how i feel about her cancer. She thinks that i am strong and for her i am. I will fight with her for as long as God gives her. And everyday i will thank God and pray for just one more day.

Joy

<strong> Hi Joy, I thank you so very much for taking the time to share your feelings with me and all that my read this.
Joy, your comment has touched me very deeply and I am struggling with a response. It is like I can feel your pain through your words and my heart goes out to you. Please know you, your mother, brother and sisters are in my prayers.
I have said it so very many times and I will say it again. In a situation such as you are in, it is indeed so much more difficult for the family. You are forced to sit back helplessly, so very badly wanting to do something, anything to help your mother, but knowing there is nothing you can do. That is nothing you can do in the way you would like to be able to, take away your mother’s pain, restore her health. It is heart breaking. What you are feeling is so understandable. Know you are not alone in feeling this way it is a very human reaction.
Dealing with grief or fear of a pending loss is a very personal and individual thing. We all react to it and we all show it in our own ways. I can only imagine your brother and sisters feel much as you, but are dealing with it, showing it in their own ways. Can you reach out to them or other family members for support?

Bad things can happen to good people and I can’t explain why. I hope you can find some level of comfort in knowing your mother is not afraid. She has placed herself in the hands of Our Heavenly Father and is prepared for His will to be done. Really what better place could she be, than in His hands.

Your mother sees you as the strong one, the one that will hold the family and everything together come the day when she is gone. I am sure that provides her with a level of comfort, easing her worry about leaving you all behind. Speaking for myself I know this would indeed provide me with a great level of comfort making the time so much easier for me.

As with so many things in life there is a “BUT” that comes with that. It is so wonderful to be there for your mother as you are, BUT at what cost to yourself. You are in the midst of one of the most difficult situations in life. You do need to find ways to care for yourself. This may sound selfish, but trust me it is not. You are a brave and a strong young woman, though at times like this you may not feel it. We know that as painful and difficult as this is you will get through it, one day at a time, or even one hour or one moment at a time. Even the strongest and the bravest occasionally need a shoulder to lean on. It is not a sign of weakness to seek help, seek support. You don’t have to do this all on your own, please reach out loving support is there. At times like this others are often at a loss as to what to say and end up saying nothing, in respect of what we are going through. But, that doesn’t mean they are not there ready and willing to help, even if they can do nothing but listen as you get out your feelings. Please turn to family, friends, a clergy man. All I am sure will have loving, supportive, non judgemental ears. Return here to the blog and feel free to rant and rave expressing your anger, your fears, what ever you are feeling.

Now this is very easy for me to say and difficult to do, I realize that. But, I urge you when you are able, try to put aside the feelings of grieve, fear and dread. Your mother is still at your side, try to spend some of your time together with a heart filled with love. None of us know how many moment we have on this earth, the best we can do is try to make them count.

I and  hope and pray you and your mother have a lot of time left to share in your loving ways.

You said it so well:

“Fear can destroy you.

Cancer will kill you.

But faith will cure you!”

Joy, you are in my heart, thoughts and prayers.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Questions/stuff

Yesterday wasn’t the best day for Vi. She had a medical procedure done. Can’t remember the name of it off hand. The one where the tube goes down your throat to allow them to view the inside of your stomach. She says it wasn’t all that bad, they used medications to really relax her making her pretty sleepy. again waiting results.

Had another reminder my balance is “OFF”. I noticed the cover for the ceiling air vent in the bathroom was getting dusty. I decide to take the cover off and clean it. Not difficult at all. Question was how to reach it, being on the ceiling. It seemed like a no brainer. I could use the toilet as one step up and from there just step up and over to stand on the sink vanity. It worked like a charm. I was up and even got the cover loosened. That is when gravity took over. After a brief meeting with the opposite wall, I landed flat on my butt, with my back slamming into the edge of the toilet bowel. In a very “manly” way I am still going ouch, ouch ouch.

Earth Angel Henri arrived shortly there after and had it down in seconds. I am pretty sure he got it down so quickly because I had loosened it. lol. Geesh, I am a slow learner.

I  know many are preparing for Christmas. It is the season to be jolly. I hope and pray all remember that. It is the season to be jolly. I have to wonder how many are totally stressing and wearing themselves out. Fighting the crowds in the mall, having so very much to do, so very much to prepare, so much work so little time. Tiring them selves out so very much that by the time the big day arrives they are actually to tired to enjoy it to the max..  I know some families may only be able to get together for one day. It would be such a shame for that day to come and you are just so tired to enjoy it. I pray all will just take a deep breath and relax. The day will come and it will go. It will be as wonderful. I can’t help but wonder how many on Christmas day after all the festivities are over, will just sink wearily back into a chair thinking: “well I guess that is that for another year” as opposed to thinking: “was this ever a great day.” How tired or stressed you are can have a lot to do with your attitude and your thinking on that day. What do you think about this? In asking this I am thinking only of the shared family time. I am sure I will be getting into the real reason for the day in the next few posts.

My thoughts seem to be going all over the place and hey this is my journal so I get to write what ever I want.

I have noticed over the past several weeks that if I click on the previous days post, it is being rated. It is being rated anywhere from 1-5 stars. Now I am not complaining as who ever is doing the rating is being very kind indeed. I do know that a while back I was checking through the wordpress system and I did come across something I hadn’t noticed before. In fact a section titled ratings. Out of curiosity I clicked on it but nothing seemed to happen. Obviously something did happen as individual posts are now being rated. Now I am fine with this especially as who ever is doing the rating is being so very kind. I haven’t email support asking them but I have poked around in the system and can’t seem to find out who is doing this rating and based on what criteria. Can anyone help me out with this.

I never proof read or edit any of my posts but I do use spell checker. I just did that, geesh, be glad I did.

Dying man’s Daily Journal – Birthday thoughts

Feeling good today, just really tired. Not sure why, I am certainly getting enough sleep. Will be definitely taking advantage of nap time today.

Vi is up in Thompson babysitting grandchildren and will be back I think it is Tuesday, huh maybe Wednesday. I heard that yesterday with the wind it was -60 up there. I am shivering down here with temps in the -20″s and 30’s. Ah, our Canadian winters.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Going to my brother Eric’s for supper other than that it will be a pretty quite day.I will spend the day enjoying my own company. Now that may sound strange or egotistical or something, but it isn’t if you think about it. Now, I am not talking about becoming a hermit or anything like that, but it is good to have some alone time. If you can’t be comfortable with your own company, how can you expect anyone else to.

Maybe it is an age thing or something but I have reached the point where a birthday is really just another date on the calendar. I suppose it is like a mile stone in the overall picture of our lives and should be recognized as such. i suppose I should really appreciate it as there have been very few people, if even anyone that ever imagined I would still be here. But here I am and still going strong.

I like to think I am evolving into becoming a better or stronger person. Who knows?  Maybe I am just flattering myself to make myself feel good. I do know my thinking has changed a lot over the past few years and is continuing to do so. Back on November 1st I had a blog party to celebrate an anniversary of “being alive”. As I think of it now, I wonder why do I need a specific date on the calendar to tell me it is time to celebrate. i suppose in practical terms, we all live such busy lives, we need a specific date planned in advance to set aside time for any sort of celebration.

For me I think it is sad that we need a specific date marked on a calendar to celebrate our own lives or those of others. What does that date on the calendar really mean? Really all I will be is one day older than I am today. Why does that one day really have to make any difference? Think about that. If you have a friend or family member that you make a point of calling on their birthday, why wait?

Every single day is a milestone to be celebrated.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Fairness

When I pray I speak to God, when I meditate I slow my mind enough to hopefully hear His reply. Now it really would be nice if during meditation I was actually able to hear His voice and get His message. Sadly, for me it just doesn’t work that way. All I hear is the silence of the room or possibly the music I have playing in the back ground.

What I do find though is so very often is that after the meditation even a day or two later a thought will just seemingly come to mind out of no where. It may be a new thought on some sort of issue I am dealing with. It may be a thought I have already had but suddenly see it from a slightly different angle. I can’t explain it I just know it helps me.

Right now I have two of those out of no where thoughts running around in my head. They have a lot of running room in this bowling ball head of mine.

I have heard or read a phrase that is to the effect: “No one said life would be fair or easy, just that it is good.”

Life is good, I have written that many many times. I just don’t have the words to really adequately describe how good it is.

In an email I had a question posed to me. If I had just minutes to give one last message, what would it be? My answer today would be simply: “stop wasting time on life, just live it”

Now what do I mean by wasting time on life? Maybe this is where the two thoughts rambling around in my head come together. Life is not always fair or easy,  but it is good. I think maybe it would be better put to say: “life can be good and is as good as we choose to make it.” Life isn’t always fair it seems, other people aren’t always fair to us.” To that I say, accept it as a fact of life, the way the world works bad things can happen to good people.

Here is where I get to the wasting time part. (finally). Other peoples actions or attitudes do not have to affect me, that is unless I allow it to. Any single moment of time spent in any sort of negative manner is a moment of joy lost for ever. Ask yourself this, how much time on a daily basis do you spend with your mind set in a negative manner? This is the wasted time I am referring to.

Now, I can just imagine many automatically thinking to themselves. “Yeah, that is fine for him to say. If he knew what my life was like. If he knew all that I have to deal with, he would understand my situation is different.”

Everyone is going to think their situation is different, that they are being treated so badly that it is impossible to get any joy out of life.The actions of others reflect on themselves, affecting us only if we allow it.

I know, I know: “IT IS JUST NOT FAIR”.Look at the big picture of life and stop wasting time on the meaningless little things that sap our strength and deprive us of love and joy.

Being treated “fairly” is something I have had to deal with of late. I ask you this. Please take a moment and really think about your life. Think about both the good and the “bad”.  Try to put the entire picture in prospective. Now I know if you have that negative mind set going on, it may even be difficult to see the positive or at least much of it. The perceived negatives may far out way any positives you see.

OK, now think about this and I ask if you think this is fair. I will be 57 in a few days. Now is this fair? I have a gimpy heart that I know could give out at virtually any time. Heart failure with edema, I need pills to make me pee. I have a brain tumor, diabetes, epilepsy,  sleep apnea, carpal tunnel, peripheral neuropathy…. is having all of that fair. OK, you looked at your life and at mine. Want to trade places?

Life may not always seem fair, but it is so worth it. See past the little annoyances, let them roll off you like water off of a ducks back. Remember today’s big issues likely will have even been forgotten in a couple of months, so is it worth spoiling your day today. let it go.

Wow I am full of “sayings” today. There is another one to the effect: “The Good Lord will never lead us anywhere, in which He will not be there to help us through.”

Dying Man’s Daily Journal Prayer request and laughter

I am feeling fine, just no energy, tired and worn out. Having a hard time getting my lazy butt in gear. i do apologize to those that have left me comments or sent email to which I have not responded. I am so far behind I don’t know if I will ever get caught up. Hey, what can I say I work in “Bill” time or at “Bill” speed. Please know I do read and appreciate everyone, please keep them coming.

The same applies to email. I am way way behind in responding to so many messages, what can I say “Bill” speed of doing things. Just looked 167 messages in the inbox. Now these all certainly aren’t new messages today, but are a build up over the past several months, I suppose. Some days I receive no messages at all, other days I may receive 25 or 30. On these bigger days I quickly peruse the list and put aside those that I think will be jokes or wise sayings. (I love getting these and do get to them, please keep them coming). I TRY to concentrate first on the messages from those i know are in a painful or difficult situation. Now remember we are talking about dopey headed memory guy here, sometimes I miss seeing a “real” message.

A prime example of this is a message I received several days ago from our dear blogging friend Jo. For a couple of years now Jo has been a great supporter of and contributor to the blog. About 5 or 6 weeks ago,  Jo disappeared completely.Growing concerned I sent her an email. Now picture me slapping myself on the head, I missed seeing her reply. Sorry Jo.

Today, I ask for prayers for Jo and her entire family. They are in the midst of a very difficult time. I never share personal information received in an email so I will not elaborate on the situation, but do ask for the prayers. At the end of her email, Jo asked me to pass along her best to all of her blogging friends here and assure all she will be returning asap. Jo, you are missed and I do hope you do manage to return soon.

While I am on the subject of emails, it has me thinking. I do get a lot of jokes sent to me, I love them and hope they will keep coming. I may not immediately get to them, but I will get there and have a good laugh. Laughter is something we can never have to much of in our lives. Laughter brings joy to our hearts.

Now don’t get me wrong I am in favor of at least trying to be politically correct of trying not to offend others by simply mis-speaking. Now I so agree there must be a line somewhere, a joke can go quickly from being funny to being cruel. Now that is just plain wrong, period.

Now society as a whole gives guide lines as to where that line in the sand should be drawn. The tricky part is we each individually draw our own line in the sand. Now remember common sense must prevail here, but I have to wonder. Are we so sensitive to political correctness that we are depriving ourselves and others laughter. I mean come on, if a joke is funny it is funny.

Have we  become so sensitive that we automatically take things personally. Have we become so suspicious of  and so untrusting of others that we are constantly on guard. On guard to ensure we don’t fall victim to the jokes of a racist or a sexist or what ever. Now I do know such people are indeed out there but they are in the minority.

Listen to a joke looking for the humor. Laugh if it is funny, don’t spend your time trying to find ways in which you assume it is meant to be derogatory to yourself. I never believe people tell me jokes to laugh at me, they tell me the jokes to laugh with me.

I ask this, would it be considered politically incorrect or maybe insensitive to send “a poor dying man” jokes about dying. Well I don’t at least not im my case. Taking about it, joking about it, laughing about it actually helps ease the load. Now I haven’t had any lately but in the past I have receive all sorts of them. Usually they involve 3 guys arriving at the Pearly Gates, a catholic, a protestant and a guy named Bill. Or an Englishman, and Irishman and a guy named Bill. That poor guy named Bill never seems to fair so well. If it is funny it is funny and I will get a good laugh.

How about telling me some good ones. I will help you out, giving you enough ammunition you can come up with some good ones. OK, besides this dying thing, I am folically  (spelling ??) challenged (bald), vertically challenged (to heavy for my height). I am part English and part Irish.

I challenge you to give me a good laugh. Remember i never judge people by the quality of a joke, I may judge the quality of the joke and either give it a laugh or a groan but that is all.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Birthday request

It is amazing how another year has flown by so very quickly. Yup, I will hit the big 57 on Dec. 13th..

For any that may have followed the blog for a while or read back, I am sure you can guess what is coming next. Yup, you guessed it, I am brazenly, flat out asking for birthday gifts. Now I am I am even going as far as to ask for a specific gift. What is this specific gift I am asking for.

I am asking every one to perform a random act of kindness. I know everyone performs countless acts of kindness on a daily basis inspite of our hectic lives. Most such acts we just sort of stumble upon, perform and carry on without a second thought. This is wonderful.

What I am asking is for everyone to specifically look for and then perform just one more. For whom the act is performed doesn’t matter, the size of or even what the act is doesn’t matter, that amount of time it may take doesn’t matter.

What matters most to me is that we carry in us an awareness of looking for opportunities to help another. Speaking for myself, I know I spent most of my life very self absorbed, so busy trying to get through my own day that I so often failed to even notice those around me. There is a wonderful world out there. We just need to see past our own little worlds to see this wonderful world around us. Contained withing the hearts of people all around the world is so much love, so much kindness, it is beyond anything we could measure. The love the kindness is there we just have to find a way to put it to use. Love and kindness are like renewable resources, the amount available is unending, we just need to put it to use.

A dear blogging friend Cat left this quote in a recent comment. It pretty much does say it all:

Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.
~Sally Koch

It is these “SMALL” ones that I am asking all to be on the watch for. Could any act of kindness ever be considered too small to be bothered with? NO!!!!!!! We can never know how even the smallest act may impact on another. There are millions of example, here is but one. You are having a work related discussion with a coworker. You can sense the coworker is struggling or feeling down.If our minds and hearts are open to it, our eyes will see such situations. Now as this conversation ends, how long would it take to say just even 4 or 5 encouraging or supportive words, a couple of seconds.Those few seconds wouldn’t disrupt even the busiest day and again we can never really know the impact those words may have on the other person.

At the top of this page is a row of titles, each of these represent a different page I have set up to accompany this the main blog. Please click on the one titled “spirit within me”. Here I ask people to put 5 minutes a week into their busy schedules. Now I don’t care how busy your life is if you honestly feel you can’t fit in 5 minutes a week you are fooling yourself.

Why am I asking for these acts of kindness? There are 4 reasons.

The first is obvious. You have lighten the load, brightened the day of the one you have helped.

Second, To me, just as importantly or even more importantly you have helped yourself.How have you helped yourself? The acts of kindness I am asking for are ones that come from the heart. No reward or recognition is expected or wanted and will even be declined if offered. We leave that situation with such a warm glow in our hearts. We leave it knowing, “I just did something, not because I had to, not because it was expected of me. I did it just because I was there and I wanted to, I am a good person.” This warm glow in your heart is the nicest feeling you can have. It actually grows and increases with each sucsessive act. I grow inside as a person as I come to realize I am a good person. Please give it a try.

Third, I ask you all to leave me a comment here on the blog telling us all of your act, no matter how big or small it may have seemed to you. Why? Reading the acts of others may inspire each of us to do the same. Plant the seed of an idea, like, “hey I could do that, I just never even thought of it.

Fourth, I ask that the comments be left for a very personal and selfish reason. I will make me feel good.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal

Didn’t sleep very well last night and am up early this morning. I have to be at the hospital at 7:30 this morning. I am not sure why but I am feeling a little apprehensive even nervous about this whole thing.  With this heart of mine I have been through a lot of tests and procedures and have never felt this way before.

Maybe it is just this memory of mine. I know I have to be there but for the life of me, I can’t remember why. Obviously, I know it is a test of some sort in which a dye is put into my system. So it involves taking pictures of my heart, a cat scan or ultra sound something like that. That part doesn’t worry me.

I remember being told a follow up procedure will be required. What that is will be determined by the results of this test. I always ask for a best case worst case scenario. Best case I like, worst case not so much.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Spending our time

Haven’t been feeling to spry this past few days. I suppose it is more just feeling really tired and worn out. I have the luxury of being able to take a nap when ever I please and have really been taking advantage of that. A day certainly does fly by when you sleep most of it away.

As with everything in life I have to find the right balance. When I woke from what was I think my 3rd. nap yesterday the thought really hit me. I am sleeping so much of my precious time away. Here is where finding the right balance comes in.. There are times in life when we do have to push ourselves just to get things done. Each of us need to find the balance the right point between just being lazy and over doing it. The big question is how hard do we push ourselves? Push too hard and it is at the expense of your health. The opposite side of the coin is, don’t push yourself hard enough and you can become just plain old  lazy. That can also be at the expense of your health and at the same time deny you the ability to really live life.

I have to really think on this. Could I be pushing myself harder, of course I could. Could I push myself to the point I go through the day without napping at all, of course I could. I have done it many times. We can always push ourselves a little harder to get a little more done.

Quantity, is something that is not guaranteed in life. This applies to everything in our physical lives. This applies to everything from the amount of money we have, the number of friends we have, right down to the amount of time we have. Here we are back to “our time”. I have heard of time being referred to as our most valuable asset, our most valuable commodity.

For me to get things straight in my head, I often need to come up with a physical comparable. This is what I have come up with.

I think everyone will agree, money is a valuable asset, we need it. We use it to buy our food, clothing, shelter, all the necessities of life. For most of us, it is usually in short supply. We struggle through the month budgeting and spending our money wisely. We know we have a limited quantity of it, we make due with what we have and try to make the most of it.

I take that same thought process and now apply it to our time on this earth. For each of us individually our time on this earth is a very valuable “commodity” our most valuable resource. We need to understand it is a “limited” resource and a “non renewable” resource.

I am not sure how well I was able to use my comparable. We spend our time, we spend our money. As we near  the end of any given month we may run out of money and look back regretting the way we may have foolishly wasted it throughout the month. We may struggle then but are comforted knowing another pay cheque is but days away. In that way money is a renewable resource.

Our time is not. When we near the end of our days, will we be looking back full of regret over how foolishly we spent and wasted so much precious time. Please just think about it.

These thoughts are brought to mind and reenforced in my mind as I read a recent comment left here on the blog. Earlier this morning I put up a post asking for prayers. Please read the comment, I think if pretty much says it all.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Prayer Request

I received a comment from a cyber friend in need. As it was  left on an earlier post I know many may not have read it. I ask please for prayers and support:

gaetano Says:
December 5, 2009 at 6:03 am |

Its 5 in the morning and Im sitting here at my computer and tears start to fall from my eyes.I`m 66 and I sit and wonder where are my friends ,and my mother and father.They are passing on in front of my eyes every day,and I wonder ,why.I had a kidney removed from cancer, and also a heart attack,and I know that soon I will be joining them.I don`t know if I am feeling sorry for myself or if I am afraid to leave this world and afraid for my family.I`ve raised 6 children. All are grown,except one.Shes only 15.I ask my self,was I a good father,a good husband,and did I do the best that I could have done,with my life? Should I have not hated so much,some of the things I did because they didn`t satisfy me, or was I just a mean person? I don`t know.I lost my best friend last year and think of him every day.I lost my parents 9 years ago and I miss them so much.I get calls more closer together then ever before of friends, or relatives,or ex classmates that have passed on,and the hurt gets worse,and the tears fall more. I find myself talking to JESUS every day and wonder if maybe I am just trying to get closer to heaven or am I preparing myself for was is about to come for me? I think about people that I have hurt thruout my life,even with maybe a small insult,and I beg in my heart for forgiveness,and I don`t even remember who I`ve hurt or where they are so that I could tell them that I am sorry.Well,where ever they are,I hope they can hear me,and forgive me.However,I now will prey for God to take me quick when he decides to,and ask him to protect my family and friends and the world has I know it.

Hi gaetano, welcome to the blog. I thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and feelings.
You have worded your message in such a way that I can almost feel your pain, worry and fear. I can so easily relate to and understand what you are saying. I have gone through and am still going through everything you have described. All I believe are normal human reactions.
My friend you say you had a kidney removed due to cancer and you had a heart attack. May I ask what is your current prognosis that lead you to believe you will soon be joining your family and friends that have already passed? Past events as difficult as they may have been don’t necessarily have to affect our current situation.
Irregardless, you are such a difficult spot, my heart goes out to you. You raise a lot of very good questions, questions all will all at some point be asking themselves. Speaking for myself, never have regrets weighed so heavily on my shoulders.. I have come to realize I can’t change the past any more than you can.
Gaetano, I am not trying to imply anything about you or how you lived your life, I don’t even know you. I can only speak for myself when it comes to dealing with regrets. I can’t change past events, nor can I change the person I used to be. I may once have acted in a certain way, but that doesn’t mean I have to do that today. All I can change is how I act today.
Gaetano, I ask you to please think of something. Since I don’t know you or your circumstances I will use my own situation as an example. I know my days on this earth are numbered and that sucks.
I have to remind myself, maybe the doctors have told me I am dying. BUT, I AM NOT DEAD YET. I still have some living to do and I am doing my best at it. Daily, I have a choice to make. I can either choose to get up and live the day in the very best way I can.Or, I can just curl up in a ball, stay in bed and really give up on life before it really ends.
Let’s talk more my friend, how are you managing to deal with your situation? Email on its way.
Bill

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – No quit

My Aunt said something to me while she was here visiting. She doesn’t and likely will never really know how those few words impacted on me, in such a powerful and wonderful way.

Her words: “you are just like your mother, there is no “quit” in you.”

My mother passed over in 1992. I loved (love) her very much. I also had a huge amount of respect for her as my mother but also as the person she was. My mother most certainly did not have an easy life.  Many can relate to her life, essentially she was a single parent raising 3 sons on what was I am sure was a minimun wage job.

Geesh, right now I can’t remember, it was either 1981 or 1982 that she had open heart surgery. At that time I had been long gone from home, raising my own family in an entirely different town. My mother had a very strong work ethic. “They hired me to do a job, they hired me to be there 40 hours a week doing that job and not just when I feel like it.”

There may have been a few things that slowed her down or knocked her off her stride but nothing could make her quit. There just wasn’t any quit in her.