Vi is home

November 26, 2014

I am so very happy and relieved to say Vi is home. Scarred, battered, bruise, sore and very tired but she is at home.

We both thank all for the ongoing prayers and loving support.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Thank You for the prayers

November 23, 2014

I do thank all for the prayers said for Vi. They were answered.

This past 10 days has been one of the most stressful times in my life. It is harder being a family member forced to stand helplessly on the side lines. It has been an exhausting, emotional roller coaster.

Medically Vi has gone through some real highs and very serious lows. Her condition showed extreme changes from day to day with both highs and lows. When I say low, I don’t mean things like her not feeling so good, I am talking things like facing the real possibility of have her foot amputated.

Vi is a very strong woman. Each challenge was met head on and overcome. I believe at times there had to have been Devine intervention.

Keeping this short, just have the need to say thank you. Vi is fully on the way to recovery. Off to the hospital

Continued prayers for Vi please

November 15, 2014

The past few days have been long and exhausting. Vi had her surgery on Thursday morning. It was scheduled for 4 hours took closer to 5 1/2. Finally surgeon came out and said everything went well. That was about 5:00 but it would be about 3 hours before we could see her as they had to settle her in the PACU.
Relief settles in. I was with Vi’s daughter Lynelle and sister Debbie.
OK, 3 hours to wait. The ladies decide to get something to eat. I was more exhausted and decided to head home for a bit of a nap. That was pointless as I was so wired up I couldn’t sleep at all.
About 1 1/2 later I get a panicked call from Lynelle. They had returned and learned Vi had been rushed back into surgery. A blood clot had formed in one of the new arteries. Not only could it break free and travel to who knows where, but it was blocking blood flow to the foot to the point the foot was purple. Amputation was becoming a real possibility. Back to the worried waiting. Possible loss of the foot obviously not good but I was more worried about that clot breaking free.
About 1100 pm the surgeon came back to say the clot had been dealt with. She knew we had been there waiting all day and maybe bent the rules a little and allowed us in to see her for a few minutes. She was awake but heavily drugged. It was such a relief to see her but her foot was still purple. Surgeon stated a further surgery would be planned for the next day or two. She would be cut from the groin all the way to the ankle to insert a new vein to get blood to that foot. It would have to be delayed for a few days as at that time she wasn’t strong enough to go through that procedure.
That was Thursday. Yesterday, wasn’t allowed in to see her until 4:00. What a difference. Her foot had “pinked up”, looked normal but was very cold to the touch. They are unable to detect a pulse down in the ankle. The urgency for that next surgery is gone but it is still expected it will have to be done.
Got to spend about an hour with her. Ansthetic was wearing off and she was in a lot of pain. She said she just felt too miserable for company an politely told me to go home and let her sleep. So I did but an heading back this morning.
Next post I will get into my adventures at the heart clinic. Right now the focus is on Vi

Prayers Please

November 12, 2014

It seems like forever that we have been waiting for Vi’s surgery date. Last week we learned it is scheduled for tomorrow. Now all along I have know this surgery is a big deal, a major surgery.
Monday we went for her pre-op appointment. Bluntly put, that appointment or better put what we learned at the appointment has flat out scared me. This is a very very serious major surgery. Long, slow and painful recovery, “6-8 weeks before she begins to feel human again”
Prayers please.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Rememberance Day – Day to Show Appreciation

November 11, 2014

Here in Canada, November 11th is marked on the calendar as Remembrance Day. Now, I say marked on the calendar because it seems more and more that is what it is becoming just a day marked on a calendar. I imagine some other countries share November 11th as a day of remembrance, while others may have a different day for that same purpose. The date on the calendar doesn’t really matter, it is the significance of that day that is important and matters and more and more each year we do seem to be forgetting that.

Look at the lives we have today. We have the life we do, thanks to the sacrifice of so many veterans. Stop and think for just a moment a try to realize in your mind how different our lives would be today, had not so many brave young men and women stepped up when called upon by their countries. Think about it many sacrificed their own lives so we can live as we do today. Think about it, that is an absolute statement of fact. Many sacrificed their own lives so I can live the life I do today. How can I not but be grateful, how selfish of me would it be not to be grateful. At the very minimum, could I not observe 2 minutes of silence at 11:00am on November 11th.. There is so much more we could be doing to thank and honor our veterans but at minimum is 2 minutes out of our year to much to ask for.

I think backand am embarrassed to admit to the times that I was somewhere and the 2 minutes of silence was requested. Thankfully, I was always respectful enough to observe this time and sat or stood quietly for that period. How grateful or how respectful was I really being. I stood still and kept my mouth shut for 2 minutes because that was what was expected of me. How often during that period though did my mind just bounce around thinking of my day at the time. The past few years have brought about a change in me and I realize how much I do own to so many. Is 2 minutes of my day once a year to much for me to “sacrifice” to show respect and gratitude to the many that in turn sacrificed their lives for me, I think not.

I need on occasion to remind myself, that this debt of gratitude is not just owned to veterans of years gone by. There are young men and women today, putting their lives on the line so that I may continue to live the life I do. This same gratitude has to extend to them.

I hate war or violence of any type and pray it could all be ended. But, let’s not loose sight of the fact that our military is where ever they are because our country sent them there. Agree with a war, or disagree with it as you choose but never loose the respect for the individuals, that we as a country send into harms way. They are there willing to pay the ultimate price in the service of their country. Individually, the so deserve our respect and gratitude.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Negativity of the soul

November 11, 2014

Another draft post published as it was left unfinished. From Jan/11

On and off for the past 4 or 5 months I have had a recurring thought. Negativity is like cancer on the soul.

Cancer is a terrible disease that if unchecked can quite quickly spread to other parts of your body or possibly even thoughout you entire body. It is terrible and my prayers to any that may be suffering from its affects.

As I have thought more about it, I do realize negativity is like a cancer on the soul, the spirit, the inner self or what ever you may wish you call it. Now, by negativity I am refering  to all of the negative emotions, we as humans can and do experience anger, resentment. envy…… That could be a long list and I am sure all can identify as least one or two things on that list as being in our lives at this moment.

I am not sur how to word this and I am not sure if it is a good thing or not but it seems to me we all seem in some way to comparmentalize our lives and feelings. We have areas of our lives that are going well and areas that are not going so well. A couple of what might be common examples. Have you ever heard anyone express something along the lines of: “I have a wonderful life, I just hate my job.” or “my life is great when my mother/father-in-law is not around, another possibly endless list.

Now if we could keep our focus on the big picture, the my life is great part, our lives would be so very much better. I have to wonder how many people if they honestly look onto their hearts can say my life is great in all areas without adding atleast one,  well except for maybe………..

I am not sure if compartmentalize is the right word. But, I think we generally do try to keep certain areas seperate such as job and home. Yet how good are we really at doing that. Who hasn’t just had a terribel day at work and come home to take it out on the family at least a little. A little negativity can go a long way towards tarnishing our entire out look on the world. Ok, what do I mean by all of this.

Let’s take our job as an example. Now there are some lucky people, yes, that just love their jobs and good for them. Sadly, I think they are in the minority. If people are honest I think most like their jobs at least well enough to keep doing them to pay the bills. Now there is another group that just hate their jobs. This is where some big time negativity can be coming to their entire lives. Our jobs are a big part of our lives, so big many spend more time with coworkers than they may with their own children.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – The blessings of giving

November 9, 2014

I was walking around in a Target store, whe
I was poking around in the blog yesterday and saw I have 134 saved draft posts. Decided to go back in and check out to see my thoughts back then.
This is a draft post from back in July/08. I don’t know where I gotten this from and I have no idea if it is a true story. I don’t care if it is true or not. For me what is important is the message it delivers. Plus, it brought a tear to my eye and I don’t want to cry alone

n I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money

The boy couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, ‘I’m sorry, but you don’t have enough money to buy this doll.’

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ”Granny,
are you sure I don’t have enough money?”

The old lady replied: ”You know that you don’t have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.”

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

‘It’s the doll that my sister loved most an d wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.’

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. ‘No, Santa Claus can’t bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.’

His eyes were so sad while saying this. ‘My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.”

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: ‘I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back
from the mall.’

Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me ‘I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won’t forget me.’

‘I love my mommy and I wish she didn’t have to leave m e, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.’

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. ‘Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!”

‘OK’ he said, ‘I hope I do have enough.’ I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: ‘Thank you God for giving me enough money!’

Then he looked at me and added, ‘I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard

‘I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn’t dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.”

‘My mommy loves white roses.’

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started.

I couldn’t get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young
woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical
state. The family had to
decide whether
to pull the plug on the
life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn’t stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is
still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Send this
message to others, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno: ‘With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, ‘Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?’

For those who prefer to think that God is not watching over us.. go ahead and delete this. For the rest of us… pass this on.

The value of a man or woman resides in what he or she gives, not in what they are capable of receiving

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Cardiac Ablation

November 8, 2014

Attended the Heart Failure Clinic this morning. Heart beat rate and regularity of beat still totally out of whack, new medication not working as had been hoped. Dosage is being increased. Being referred for a cardiac ablation

Ablate means “to destroy.” Cardiac ablation is a procedure that is used to destroy small areas in your heart that may be causing your heart rhythm problems.

During the procedure, small wires called electrodes are placed inside your heart to measure your heart’s electrical activity. These electrodes may also be used to scar/destroy the areas of the heart muscle in which the electrical system of you heart is mis firing or shorting out.

You will be given a mild sedative before the procedure to help you relax.

The skin on your neck, arm, or groin will be cleaned well and made numb with an anesthetic.
Next, the cardiologist will make a small cut in the skin.
A small, flexible tube (catheter) will be inserted through this cut into one of the blood vessels in this area. The doctor uses live x-ray images to carefully guide the catheter up into your heart.
Once the catheter is in place, your doctor places small electrodes in different areas of your heart.

These electrodes are connected to monitors that allow the cardiologist to tell what area in your heart is causing problems with your heart rhythm. Usually, there are one or more specific areas.
Once the source of the problem has been found, one of the catheter lines is used to send electrical (or sometimes cold) energy to the problem area.
This destroys the problem area, creating a small scar that causes the heart rhythm problem to stop.
Catheter ablation is a long procedure that can last 4 or more hours During the procedure your heart will be monitored closely. A nurse or doctor may ask you if you are having symptoms at different times during the procedure. Symptoms you may feel are:

A brief burning when any medicines are injected
A faster or stronger heartbeat
Burning when the electrical energy is used
Why the Procedure is Performed
Cardiac ablation is used to treat certain heart rhythm problems that medicines are not controlling. These problems may be dangerous for you if they are not treated.

Common symptoms of heart rhythm problems may include:

Chest pain
Fast or slow heartbeat (palpitations)
Light-headedness, dizziness
Shortness of breath
Skipping beats – changes in the pattern of the pulse
Some heart rhythm problems are:

AV Nodal Reentrant Tachycardia (AVNRT)
Accessory Pathway, such as Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome
Atrial fibrillation and atrial flutter
Ventricular tachycardia
Catheter ablation is generally safe. Talk with your doctor about these rare complications:

Bleeding or blood pooling where the catheter is inserted
Blood clot that goes to arteries in your leg, heart, or brain
Damage to the artery where the catheter is inserted
Damage to heart valves
Damage to the coronary arteries (blood vessels that carry blood to your heart)
Esophageal atrial fistula (a connection that forms between your esophagus and part of your heart)
Fluid around the heart (cardiac tamponade)
Heart attack
Vagal or phrenic nerve damage
Before the Procedure
Always tell your doctor or nurse what drugs you are taking, even drugs or herbs you bought without a prescription.

During the days before the procedure:

Ask your doctor which drugs you should still take on the day of the surgery.
Tell your doctor if you are taking aspirin, clopidogrel (Plavix), prasugrel (Effient), ticagrelor (Brilinta), warfarin (Coumadin) or another blood thinner.
If you smoke, stop before the procedure. Ask your doctor for help.
Tell your doctor if you have a cold, flu, fever, herpes breakout, or other illness.
On the day of the procedure:

You will usually be asked not to drink or eat anything after midnight the night before your procedure.
Take the drugs your doctor told you to take with a small sip of water.
Your doctor or nurse will tell you when to arrive at the hospital.
After the Procedure
Pressure to reduce bleeding is put on the area where the catheters were inserted into your body. You will be kept in bed for at least 1 hour, and maybe up to 5 or 6 hours. Your heart rhythm will be monitored during this time.

Your doctor will decide whether you can go home on the same day or if you will need to stay in the hospital overnight to continue monitoring your heart. You will need someone to drive you home after your procedure

For 2 or 3 days after your procedure, you may have these symptoms:

You may feel tired.
Your chest may feel achy.
You may notice skipped heartbeats, or times when your heartbeat is very fast or irregular.
Your doctor may keep you on your medicines, or give you new ones that help control your heart rhythm.

Vi’s surgery date – Prayers Please

November 7, 2014

Vi after months of waiting finally got the call for her surgery. It is next Thursday. I ask for prayers please as this is a major surgery.
She is happy to have the date set after months of delay. She is understandably a little nervous. She says somehow now that the date has been set it seems a little more real. I can really understand that feeling.
I so admire the way she has dealt with this. About a 1 1/2 years ago she was the energizer bunny, constantly on the run. She had one speed and that was full speed ahead. For about a year prior to that she had been experiencing pain if she walked to far to fast. Slow down for a minute or so and off she went again. Since that time her condition has steadily worsened.
Now she loves her flower beds. One of her greatest joys is planting them all in the spring. She is a strong and determined woman. Her flowers were getting planted. I even suggested just skip it for this year, she would have nothing to do with that. By this time walking and bending was so painful, she was often literally crawling. She is so determined. Pain is not going to stop me, what ever it takes is what I will do, if that means crawling so be it. Flowers gardens were beautiful. Now understand total size of these flower beds is huge. Two flower beds across the front of the house, each wide enough for at least 3 rows of flowers, along one side of the house, across the back of the house. Our back yard is fenced, flowers all along each fence. Think that would be enough but no, a final bed actually the big one across part of the back yard. It is approx. 30 feet wide and 15 feet deep. Vi I so admire your strength and determination. Adjust to the circumstances and forge ahead.
WARNING: Vi enjoys shopping. Her idea of shopping is spending hours wandering the isles of the stores often just looking. That became impossible, did that stop her, no. It didn’t take long for her to discover a lot of stores have motorized wheel chairs and off she went. Her walking was at full speed and negotiating that wheel chair around is no different.
Vi, you are an inspiration.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – A-fib is back

November 5, 2014

I always seem to struggle when I sit down to write a post. How many times have I said I am a rambler not a writer. That is exactly what I am running into as I try to get up a special post to thank all for helping me achieve the 500,000 hits. That was a milestone for me. Actually on my fantasy bucket list. I will get there. Likely going to just let loose with a ramble and see what comes.
Just not feeling so spry this past while but I will get it up. Just know I so appreciate each and every one.
Must be about 6 weeks ago my heart went into A-Fib. Doctors tinkered with medication. After a bit of an adjustment period it actually seemed to work. After about 2 weeks that began to change. It became sort of a day by day thing. One day good, the next not so much. Gradually good days became fewer until now it is constant.
What is A-fib? It is like the heart has a mind of its own. It decides on its own how fast it should beat and to what rythem it will beat. That is irregardless of what I am doing.
Example this morning, I literally had just rolled out of bed, checked rate and it was 119
Before they can do any sort of intervention, my INR levels must be between 3 and 4 for 4 consecutive weeks. That is measuring the thickness of my blood. This reduces the risk of clotting. Have made it past 3 weeks, the blood test next Monday is in the big one, I hope coming in in the right range as Wednesday I have an appointment with a different heart clinic, one that specializes in this sort of thing. Cardiac Ablation sounds to be the treatment of choice but that will be up to this new group of specialists.
Thought hit me. I tease Vi about wanting to see her in a harem girl costume. Now, I don’t actually remember dreaming but maybe in dream land there she was and I spent all night chasing her around. That must be it, would explain the elevated heart rate this morning, all that running.