Dying Man’s Daily Journal – The Dying Process as I feel it will be

October 31, 2012

Over the past years now I have given considerable thought to, what does the dying process feel like? By that I mean the actual moving from this world to the next.

That actual transition I think will be a simple, enlightening experience. Now at that time our physical bodies may be wracked with pain or what ever caused by the disease or what ever that has brought us to the point where we are dying. I believe we are spiritual beings and that during our time on this earth, these bodies of ours merely provide “housing” for our spirits/souls what ever you may wish to call it. Whan our time here is done we merely step out of that body, stepping from this world to the next. Yes, for any that may ask, I am certain within my own mind there is an afterlife.

Now any that have followed the blog for any time know that I can’t seem to just come out and say something, I have to ramble on and on almost to no end. Well I started the big ramble here and realized I well may not have the energy to get it finished. I remembered that I have already shared my thoughts and beliefs on this. I went back found the post and my feeling/beliefs remain unchanged. I even talked about my own “possible” near death experience. Please check out my blog post from way back in Oct/09.

If you went back and read it you see that I may have had an out of body experience, I really don’t know. There are many that had out of body experiences. It is on my blog roll, but please check out the near death experience web sit. It is also on my blog roll.

I always urge all to read the comments left here on the blog as they so often contain thoughts and insight beyond my own. Yet still I know there are those that do not. Now as circumstances would have it. Just a few days back just such a comment was left by Christopher. It was his comment that got me thinking about this post. Our thinking seems to be much the same.

He wrote:

“My clairvoyant understanding of dieing is that dieing is very easy, it’s like dropping an overcoat off your shoulders and allowing it to fall to the ground, stepping out of a garment. Switching in a blink of an eye from an egoistic life, to complete unconditional love… that without ego. Being born is difficult, take an all encompassing cosmic being, and stuff it into an itty bitty living space.

This culture [USA] doesn’t look at, or deal with death very well. We put it on a shelf and pretend it doesn’t exist, and put all of our attention on youth. I see our passing as a very magical time, at the time of passing you can see them yield to the passage. And just before their passing, we can see their accumulated experiences come to completion. Where for a moment they shine, and excel at their accomplishments. I did live-in-home-health-care for about 12 years, mostly with folks that where at the end of all things, and got to walk with them to that doorway. Help them process what their going through, and make peace with the world and with God. Now I find myself teaching empowerment.

Gentle blessings be with you Bill, along the path you follow.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Prayers Please

October 30, 2012

This post is a simple prayer request.

I have written recently of Vi’s mum Nellie, my mother-in-law and of her failing health. It has reached the point that it is generally felt she has weeks or even just days to go. She is at home where she wants to be. Every effort is being made to keep her as comfortable as possible. she is within a few days of her 87th birthday and has lived a full life. It might be said a long life but in emotional terms how do we determine how long a live should be. If we are talking about our own lives or the lives of our loved ones, however long it may be is not enough. We want more time.

She is in a lot of constant pain, sometimes delusional. The rational mind can acknowledge that possibly a quick and peaceful passing may be the best. Sadly, for us the mind and the heart are not always in agreement. Prayers please for Nellie, Vi and family.

Extra thoughts to Vi please. my health is let’s just say a little shaky right now and she is carrying that double burden.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Celebrate Life

October 29, 2012
  • I am approaching a very special time in my life. A time I never dreamt or imagined I would live to see.
    I am approaching my 60th birthday. Plus  another milestone anniversary for me, an anniversary to celebrate I am still alive. This all just boggles my mind and I am so very grateful. This anniversary, It will be 9 years ago my doctor told me i might have 2 year left if I am lucky. THAT WAS 9 YEARS AGO!!!! Can you believe it? I almost have to pinch myself go make sure it is real.
    I remember back at that time praying to God, begging God, please let me make it at least until I am 60. Did I actually think it would happen? Not really, but here I am!!!
    I give thanks to our Heavenly Father. I also give thanks to you all my blogging friends, you have helped me through so much, your support has meant so much to me, your prayers I am so grateful. I would like to celebrate with all of you but I need ideas as to how, any suggestions?








Dying Man’s Daily Journal – The little things in life

October 25, 2012
I received this email. i haven’t verified where it came from or any such. The message is one I just had to share:
Lisa Beamer on Good Morning America – If you remember, she’s the  wife of Todd Beamer who said ‘Let’s Roll!’ and helped take down the plane  over Pennsylvania that was heading for Washington,  DC back on 9/11.
She said it’s the little things that she misses most  about Todd, such as hearing the garage door open as he came home, and  her children running to meet him.

Lisa recalled this  story

“I had a very special teacher in high school  many years ago whose husband died suddenly of a heart attack. About a  week after his death, she shared some of her insight with a classroom of  students. As the late

afternoon sunlight came streaming in through the  classroom
windows and the class was nearly over, she moved a few  things
aside on the edge of her desk and sat down there.
With a gentle look of reflection on her face, she  paused and said, ‘Class is over, I would like to share with all of you,  a thought that is unrelated to class, but which I feel is very important.  Each of us is put here on earth to learn, share, love, appreciate and give  of ourselves. None of us knows when this fantastic experience will end. It can be taken away at any moment.
Perhaps this is  the power’s way of telling us that we must make the most out of every single  day. Her eyes, beginning to water, she went on, ‘So I would like you all to make me a promise. From now on, on your way to  school,
or on your way home, find something beautiful to notice.
It doesn’t have to be something you see, it could be a scent, perhaps of freshly baked bread wafting out of someone’s house, or  it could be the sound of the breeze slightly rustling the leaves in the  trees, or the way the morning light catches one autumn leaf as it falls  gently to the ground. Please look for these things, and cherish them. For,  although it may sound trite to some, these things are the “stuff” of life. The little things we are put here on earth to enjoy. The things we often  take for granted.
The class was completely quiet. We  all picked up our books and filed out of the room silently. That afternoon, I noticed more things on my way home from school than I had that whole  semester. Every once in a while, I think of that teacher and remember what  an impression she made on all of us, and I try to appreciate all of those things that sometimes we all overlook.
Take  notice of something special you see on your lunch hour today. Go barefoot.  Or walk on the beach at sunset. Stop off on the way home tonight to get a  double dip ice cream cone. For as we get older, it is not the things we did that we often regret, but the things we didn’t  do.
If you like this, please pass it on to a friend, if not just delete it and go on with your life! Life is not measured by  the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath  away.” HAVE A GREAT DAY!
GOD Bless you every day of your life.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal I am greedy

October 24, 2012

I have some medical issues going on now that I am just not ready to talk about. According to my doctor I somehow dodged another bullet. i must be like a cat with 9 lives. If that is the case I think I am on #7. A lot of doctors appointments coming up. Family doc this afternoon, heart failure clinic in a couple of weeks. Neurologist a couple of weeks after that with an MRI thrown in there some where.

A couple of months back I got a summons for jury duty. Now that is something I consider to be a civic responsibility and fully intended to go. A couple of days of thinking about it and I realized it was not the most responsible or fair thing to do. I thought if I was on trial for something would i want someone on the jury with a memory like mine. Can’t remember yesterday and just looses blocks of time, spaces of time that are just gone. So i got myself excused. Maybe it would be better put they excused me.

I realize I am greedy. The Good Lord for reasons I so not understand, but am so grateful for, has granted me years of extra time and yet I still want more. Working on that.

Now just a reminder to any that may regularly follow the blog, my birthday is coming up. What do I do every year on my birthday? I flat out ask for birthday presents from all. Now what kind of present could you get me, hmmm. How about if you do a random act of kindness and just leave me a  comment telling me about it. The size of the act doesn’t matter. For whom it is done doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you went out of your way to do something kind/nice for another. Not because you had to, not in expectation of any reward. It is done from the heart, just because we can. Please


Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Bucket List

October 19, 2012

I think everyone should have a bucket list irregardless of age, health or anything else. Why, because we all have such busy lives that the things we would like to do simply get put off time and again. We too often seem to forget that our time is limited and we do need to make the most of it. I doubt if many have even seriously given thought to their own list of things they would like to do before they die. Oh, we all see something and think gee now that is something i would really like to do. But does it usually ever go any further than that passing thought. Some how time has this habit of just slipping by on us. It goes by so fast that one day we wake up and realize that because of  health, age or whatever the name of our list just changes. It changes from a list of things I would like to do, to a list of things I would liked to have done. At that point all we can do is look back over our lives, shaking our heads with wonder and regret.

For reasons I do appreciate but do not understand the why of, I have been granted extra time. I have emptied my bucket list several times. Now there is one item remaining and I am working on that one.

Now that is not to say I don’t have my fantasy bucket list. I need the lottery to cooperate with the top item and hey I am a guy so use your imagination for the rest.

I received an email a while back that has just stuck in my head. I apologize for the language but hey it really make the point clear.

My bucket list is almost empty, but my f–k it bucket is full to overflowing and being added to by the day.

Now sorry if that one word offends just change it to what ever you like.

Just think if we did a general house cleaning of our lives, de-clutter. Now I am not suggesting anyone shuck their responsibilities or any such thing. Look at your life, it is your life to live and I am sure you will find things and even people who cause on going un-needed stress. It is your life stand up and claim it for yourself.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal

October 17, 2012

384,857 hits, I am at a loss for words. From the administrators site here I used to be able to see the number of hits right there. They have changed it some how and to see them I have to go some where else and well just haven’t bothered. Today while responding to a comment I noticed the number. I am beyond shocked. I just thank all that have taken some of their precious time to visit with me. What also surpised me was there is a map that shows which countries the hits are coming from. They are coming from all over the world. I am humbled. I am so grateful for the many many prayers that have come with those hits. I am sure they have had a large part in keeping me going. THANK YOU

I am feeling better and better, sure am glad to get this past 4 or 5 months behind me.

There is something I realized a long time ago. The world does not revlove around me or you for that matter. Huh, go figure lol. We are blessed to be able to share this planet with about 6.5 billion other people. It would be a pretty lonely place without them and the world does not revlove around anyone of them either. More to say but have to lie down

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Appreciate everything in life

October 16, 2012

I am so very happy to say I am feeling a little better. I CAN BREATH and that is such a good thing. Breathing is just one of the many wonders we just take for granted. That is until you are struggling with it. I was feeling like I just couldn’t get quite enough air. Each breath came with a raspy gurgling sound. I am still a little short of breath and a little raspy but all in all a big improvement.

This may even sound a little strange but it is almost like I need a little episode like this to at times bring my thinking back to my reality. That I would continue to see the wonders, the beauty in each day, one day at a time. Life is so worth living and I never do forget that fact. I appreciate each day I am given. I have been given extra time and for that I am so very grateful. Every night as I go to bed I say a little prayer in which I thank God for having given me that day. I ask that His will be done in my life but ask that I be given that night and do wake up in the morning. In the morning, it is thank you for night and please give me this day ahead. I appreciate my life and all the wonders in it. I have a good life, I know that.

Every time I have a “medical” event, it is like a slap in the face or something. It clears my head to see the wonders around me. Some how it seems without even realizing it, I had allowed myself to some extent anyway to be come I suppose complacent. Starting to take things for granted. Still appreciative of my life and everything in it but I realize I would be starting to take it for granted. When you start taking things for granted it is inevitable that at least some of the shine or wonder is taken away from it. Never take anything, anyone or even life for granted.

I suppose is it like the ying and the yang. To really experience joy you must have experience a little sadness or you have no point of refence to be able to regognize and appreciate the difference.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – highway of life -BUMPY

October 10, 2012

I often talk about the “highway of life”. Well I have been on quite a bumpy section of highway for this past while. The only thing we can be certain of in life is nothing is certain. Nothing lasts forever, not the good nor the rough times. One way or the other things will be better for me.

I can’s even remember right now, is it 4 times or 5 times when they had all but just written me off, yet here I am. I think maybe I must be something like a bad dream for them. I just won’t go away, i just keep coming back again and again. I still have a lot of living to do and by my plan I am going to live a lot more of it. I have prayed many times just asking for God’s will to be done in my life. Now as I am praying for that, it just makes sense that I just accept what comes. Now  that though doesn’t mean I am not going to do every thing in my power to hang around here for a while longer. I am a lot slower than I once was, I tire a lot faster than I once did, my breathing is not what it once was. However, none of that means stopped!!!!

Vi says I can be confusing. “you look like you are find, You act like you are fine and you say you are fine, how is anyone supposed to know what is going on?” Well Vi knows me well enough that she can pretty much tell when I am having on off day. My social life is mostly limited to me sitting on the front step chatting with neighbours as they walk by. With them I do try to be just a normal, cheerful guy. I imagine most of them just see me as a “normal” and healthy guy or at least that is the face I try to put on for them to see.

Now there are a gazillion exceptions to what I am about to say and I know that. Just because you are sick doesn’t necessarily mean you have to act like you are sick. Just because you are dying doesn’t mean you have to act like it. Do what ever it takes to take care of yourself but at least put you best effort in to trying to carry on. That is what I am doing. I am going to do my best to LIVE life right up until that last breath leaves my body

I often write about that which I am working on with in myself, there you have it.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Not feeling well

October 10, 2012

Saw the doctor today. I think it is fair to say he is not overly optomistic about my future. It was one of those times when you are chatting with someone and they just cheer you right down.

Things have definitely changed over the past several months. Each day seem to be physically getting harder and harder, less energy and more difficulty breathing.