Dying Man’s Daily Journal – People are people – NO EXCEPTIONS

October 30, 2010

I don’t get to the computer as often as I used to. I have already put up a post for today and really thought that was that. I went over to check my email. Man, oh man, I have 315 messages waiting. I really do have to spend more time here.

I read one message that has me feeling torn inside. I am not sure if I am jumping up and down mad, feeling sad for the sender or just feeling that a part of the message was just poorly worded. A few days ago I put up a post about how our new neighbors had their garage broken into, things were stolen and their vehicle was damage as thieves attempted to steal it. This in fact happened on the very day that they had their home blessed by a priest. Now that fact in itself has me jumping up and down mad but back to the email.

Part of the message suggested my neighbors should reach out for support from their own kind!! Own kind????? Huh!!!!!

Now as it happens my new neighbors are from the Philipines, having arrived in Canada just over a year ago. Vi and I are very happy to have them as our new neighbors, they are a wonderful family. Now I do believe I understand the overall meaning of the comment. They could reach out to others in their situation being new to Canada. I hope there is some sort of support group like that. It may help them, I don’t know.

Nothing changes the fact they are my neighbors and I see only one “kind”, human kind. Vi and I are here for them in any way we can.

I have to ask a question of any that may read this. As a society in general, do we view neighbors from a different culture or county differently than we do if they are from our own, what ever that may be? If so, WHY?

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Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Personal expectations

October 30, 2010

I am feeling pretty good and keeping busy with the seemingly endless list of home renos. I am approaching things differently than in the past. Maybe reality has clicked in and I can see things for what they are. I am a reasonably handy guy and can do a lot of things around the house myself. In the distant past taking on a major project didn’t deter me in the slightest. I am reasonably good at home type projects and did a pretty good job in a reasonable length of time.

As my health over all declined so have my physical limitations. It seemed to take my mind a while to catch up with and accept that fact. I still had no hesitation about taking on a big project, hey this is something I can do. Often it seemed though I would get into the project and the reality of my limitations would only then hit me. I seemed to become over whelmed at the enormity of the task as I was reminded of my limitations by the slow speed of my progress. I became discouraged, disheartened and even felt feelings or uselessness. With a sort of tail between my legs sort of attitude I turned to family for help, which was always freely given.

I think I have finally been able to close that chapter in my life. I see a project (Vi is very good at coming up with them for me) and I am still willing to take them on. I just look at them differently, I look at them through realistic Bill eyes and take into account working at Bill speed. In one way I have lowered the expectations I have put on myself. Being, fine a few years ago maybe this job I could have completed in a day. That was then and now is now. Today maybe that same job, repainting the kitchen again will take me 2 weeks but so what. I CAN DO IT.

This past few months have been tough ones for me and I have really struggled with several issues, this expectations thing being just one of them. I am not sure if this even makes sense but it seems for me to function, I do need to have expectations of myself, push myself to do something productive or it is like I have already given up on life and I am just not prepared to do that. So I need to have expectations of myself but realistic expectations based on what I can do today. Does that make sense.


Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Prayers for new neighbors please

October 25, 2010

I would like to share with you a sad almost heart breaking story that reflects in many ways the state of our wonderful city today.
On Sept. 1st. the house beside our own was sold. We had wonderful neighbors and were indeed sad to see them go. We were happy to welcome our new neighbors. a very friendly, very nice family, mother, father and 3 children. The family arrived in Canada just over a year ago,coming from the Philippines. Both work and are actively contributing to our city/society.
When they arrived in Canada they first lived in an apartment, saving to buy a house. Which they were able to do, becoming our neighbors, for which we are very happy. They do struggle with the English language a little but considering the time they have been here are doing very very well. The world is good.
This past Saturday they had a house blessing. I am not from the Philippines nor am I Catholic so I do not really know what that details. I do know it is followed by a gathering of family and friends for what can only be described as a feast, To which Vi and I were invited. Fabulous is the word that comes to mind in describing it. The world is good.
What no one realized was that while this was all happening, someone was breaking into their detached garage. Various items were stolen and an attempt was made to steal their vehicle. Passenger side window was smashed and the steering counsel was destroyed.I am not sure if ironic is the right word but all this happened while they were celebrating the blessing of their home.
Just last week I heard someone enter my garage and yelling was enough to scare him/her away. On checking it was found that someone had been in their garage the same time, Now that alone shook them up enough to frighten the children, add this second incident and it has the whole family upset and fearful.
This truly is a wonderful family and my heart goes out to them. They are thousands of miles from home and all that they are accustomed to. They are feeling isolated, vulnerable and afraid, afraid to the point of not sleeping at night.
As far as neighbourhoods go I would think ours is one of the safest in the city, but then today where in the city is safe,. What can I say to them but Welcome to Winnipeg


Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Proud daddy

October 21, 2010

Had a good day, got some work done around the yard. Biggest thing was getting the garden roto-tilled. Now I could stop right there and it would likely sound like I did a lot. Fact is I watched as a very nice gentleman, Ken, did the work. Thank you Ken, enjoyed the time we spent together over coffee.

A lot has happened over the summer. One of the big highlights for me is that my daughter Shauna is staying with us through the week. I am always proud of Shauna but especially now for what she is doing now, following her life time dream of becoming a hair dresser. This is the type of work she has always enjoyed for as far back as I can remember. Thinking back it does bring back some warm memories.

Going way back to even before she could talk beyond a few word and was at that oh, so cute toddler stage of walking, she would find things to try and put in my hair. As she grew so did the desire to “make me look pretty”. Now that was way back in the days when I had hair, though it was never long enough for the braids she would have liked to put in. I even did let it grow out a little but not nearly to the shoulder length or longer that she would have liked. Hey, us dads do have some limits. lol.

From the hair we progressed to the nails. I have to admit there have numerous times when I have had both my finger and toe nails painted. Hey I was a stylish guy back in those days what can I say.

I suppose it was the natural evolution of events that next took us to makeup. She had some sort of a children’s makeup kit. In the set play time she loved to bring it out and apply it to anyone willing to have it done, huh, mainly seemed to be me.Now as this would be in the early evening I at times seemed to have a bit of a 5:00 shadow, being my whiskers had grown out a little since my morning shave. Well in the on going effort to make me “pretty” there were times when the electric razor had to come out. I was a pampered daddy as she shaved away those unsightly whiskers. I ask, how many dads get a shave from their 4 or 5 year old daughter.

Next came the make up. Now she definitely was not stingy with it, applying very generous amounts to my face. Lipstick was a special time. She stood in front of me demonstrating with her lips how she wanted me to position mine. Silly daddy seemed to so often get that part wrong. We got it done and I was officially declared to be pretty.

This has been like a dream Shauna has held on to all of these years and she is now working to officially fulfill it. Back in August she enrolled in a hair dressing school, enjoys it very much and is doing very well at it. Good for you Shauna, I am proud of you.

Shauna is married to a great guy, Jake. They actually live in a smaller community about a 90 minute drive each way which is a long daily commute. Shauna there fore stays here with us through the week and goes home on the weekends. Jake, I am proud to have you as a son-in-law, supporting Shauna as you are as she pursues her dreams.

Shauna is still young being 30 but this does show it is NEVER to late to follow your dreams.


Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Unexpected excitement

October 14, 2010

Had a bit of unexpected and unwelcome excitement last night. It was after midnight maybe 12:30 or so and I heard the distinctive beep beep beep of the chime on our home alarm system. The chime goes off anytime a door or window is opened even when alarm is not set or activated. The garage is detached from the house but it is also alarmed.

Now as it happens this has happened before. It seems a couple of times a year, memory guy is poking around in the back yard, has the walk in garage door open, gets distracted or what ever, goes in the house and forgets to close that door. hmm, going to have to do something about that guy. The wind will at times catch the door and slam it shut, causing the alarm to beep. Each time I grab my baseball bat and rush out into the back yard, to find nothing. It does not happen that often but still often enough that it is sort of routine. I go out check out the detatched garage find nothing, lock the door and come back inside.

Last night was a little different. The garage is in the back yard and it is dark back there. I was I suppose quite nonchalant about the whole thing until I got to maybe 15 feet of the open door. I thought I saw a flicker of movement inside the garage but it is just to dark to be sure. It was enough though to make me stop and take notice, not sure I waved the bat in the air to make its presence noticed and yelled, GET OUT OF MY YARD. Actually to my surprise a dark figure did dart out of the garage, running to the right away from me. Vaulted the fence into the neighbors yard and out on to the street. At the speed he was moving for me catching him wasnèt even a consideration.

I do not know if this was a single person or if there still may be someone in the garage. I know I am going to call the police but I also know I am not going to leave the garage area leaving a second person if there is one, free to help themselves to my stuff. I was a little nervous as to get to the light switch for the garage I had go into it and it was DARK. I did breath a big sigh of relief when I could see there was no one else.

Called the police filing a report and all What a time.


Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Keeping Busy

October 13, 2010

Had another busy day. Doing a lot of cosmetic renos on the house. Finished a redo of the kitchen and bathroom now just cosmetics. If some thing should happen to me, Vi insists she will stay in the house but who is to know. Touch up here and there make it nicer to live in and well would have to help resale. Feeling a sense of some sort of urgency to get it done.

Our wonderful neighbors Art and Lisa let on Sept 1st, they will be missed. We are very fortunate to have a wonderful family as neighbors now. A very nice young couple with 3 children and it is nice to hear the laughter of kids as they play out in the back. We had them over for a back yard BBQ and in turn were treated to some wonderful Philipines cuisine. Just love those spring rolls. I am a lucky guy. I have heard of some having terrible neighbors, huh. In all my travels I have had hundreds and hundreds of neighbors and every one has been wonderful.

Really feeling worn out most of the time. I am “working” harder but everything is at Bill speed. Hey, maybe it is that Bill speed that causes everything to take so long to get finished. Slow and steady wins the race, really????? Why does it just seem to take longer???lol.

I will be back tomorrow and catch up on some of the wonderful comments, for which I do thank all.


Dying Man’s Daily Journal – I am still here

October 11, 2010

Wow, time seems to slip by so fast. Summer is gone and we are already into autumn. Being memory guy here, I had no idea it has been so long since my last post. In my mind I was sure it was just a couple of weeks ago, huh. Where does the time go. Sorry to any that I may have caused worry, that was most certainly not my intention. A reminder from my daughter Shauna and a phone call from Billie telling me to get my butt down stairs and here on to the computer.

Geesh, with so much time going by a lot has happened since my last post. Where to start. Ok,  let’s go with the health situation, physically I am feeling fine. Had some real breathing issues through the heat and humidity of summer. Doctors still seem torn on what is the best course of treatment for me, emergency open heart surgery or do nothing. Four cardiologists have reviewed my file and are equally divided as to the best course of action.  I have had open heart surgery in the past and it is no fun at all but it was not nearly as bad as I had been expecting. I am a little stressed, not through fear of the surgery, it is the waiting not knowing what is happening. I am the type that I feel I can deal with it all if I just know what is going on.

Stress is some thing I really need to avoid. There is very little in life, regular daily life that I let get to me at all.  Really all of those little daily annoyances that come up in all of our lives, I am able to just shrug off as just really not being important enough to let  bother me in the slightest, just not being important enough to stress over. With all of this dying business my out look really has changed. Through the summer though I have learned I really do need to put in more time and work at this area of my life.

I am not going to go into any details but an event transpired that REALLY upset me angered me tremendously. It has been years since I had to go through my “calming” routine.I sit quietly and ask myself a series of questions. Really, how important is this? VERY. Will you even remember this in 6 months? YES. Will you still be as upset in 6 months? YES. My nose is out of joint but I will get through it.

I am over whelmed by the number of comments I see that have been left for me, I thank all. Tomorrow I will be reading all and responding as I can. I will be back on a more regular basis.

I thank you all for the good wishes and prayers.