A tough patch but still here

I do apologize to my dear friends for any worry I may have caused during my absence.
I wrote about the procedure I was facing on Oct. 23rd.. That was quite the day. We went into the procedure expecting it to be a re-do of the ablation I had done in April. It was expected to take 1 1/2 – 2 hours. Ended up taking 4 1/2 hours and being an entirely different procedure.
A if thank you to Debbie, Vi’s sister for being there for her. As more and more time passed the more worried Vi became. Thank you Deb.
I was given conscious sedation. Meaning I was awake during the whole thing. I can tell you operating room tables are not designed for comfort. One of the medication is designed to give short term amnesia. Meaning while you are awake, you have no or little memory of the procedure when it is all done. I seen to have a high tolerance to medications and even being memory guy do remember at least some. Can’t be sure how much but enough.
I was listening to the doctors talk and heard their surprise and short term confusion when they realized it was not a simple ablation that I required.
Maybe more accurate to say surprised. All the sophisticated testing equipment them have, is not as accurate as the doctor’s eyes once he is actually in the heart. I have nothing but the highest praise for all involved. They had obviously been thrown a curve ball but they immediately kicked into high gear to find the issue. They conducted all sorts of tests right in the heart. All of this stretched the procedure time to the 4 1/2 hours. Thank you to them and to God their efforts paid off.
It was an ablation I required but a totally different one in a different area of the heart that I required. Thankfully they were able to successfully complete it.
Afterwards the doctor told me I was very lucky in that I’d they had known in advance what it was they were facing prior to beginning it is doubtful they would have even attempted it, very high risk.
Physically, it really put me on my butt. That old heart of mine has pulled me through again. This procedure was a success in that it was designed to improve quality of life not quantity. The heart failure and those issues are totall separate.
Breathing is improved, I am not falling down it was a success.
My biggest issue was allowing negativity to enter my mindset. Fear. During this whole time I have been at a much higher risk of a stroke. The though of a major stroke got to me scared me.
Is it strange, I am more prepared, less afraid of dying than I am of that major stroke.
I thank all for the prayers. I know they helped get me through this.

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