Spent yesterday afternoon at the dentist again. I think one more visit and I am done. Met a very nice young lady, Heather, the hygienist who got my teeth all cleaned up. I made her work as it has been longer than I want to admit since I last had them cleaned. Thank you Heather.
For the past couple of weeks I have been thinking of this and of how to write it in a way that will make any sort of sense. I realize I have been changing as a person, evolving maybe, I don’t know.
For reasons that are a mystery to me, the Good Lord has given me extra time on this earth. I am appreciative of that and have indeed been trying to use this precious time to prepare myself for what I know lies ahead. Have I been working at it as diligently as I could have been, maybe not, but I have been working at it. Nothing changes over night but I am at least making noticable progress, in my own mind anyway.
Having this journal has been a wonderful thing in so many ways. One of them is that it gives me a reference point to look back to. I can look back and remember my thoughts and feelings, remember what was in my heart at that time. At that time my heart did indeed have some anger, some bitterness towards others. It all related to hurts or what I saw as injustices done to me in the past.
I desperately wanted to rid myself of these feeling, to be able to leave this world with a clear heart. I am not sure when or how it happened. It all happened so slowly that I didn’t even realize it was happening. It took a cat coming along for me to realize I had changed at all.
A few post ago I wrote about the “stalker” cat. I never have been a cat guy, while I have never encouraged it, they do seem to like me???? This was no ordinary cat, which ever room in the house I was in, it would soon appear at the window or door of that room. (It was outside). I realized I really cared about this cat and worried about it, huh, me worrying about a cat????
This got me thinking, “What is up with this, have I ever changed or something”. I thought about this more and more and realized, either I have changed or the whole rest of the world has changed.
I suddenly realize all those little grudges and hurts I carried in my heart are gone. How did that happen, I don’t know they are just all gone. This actually, I have realized for a while, as I have with a number of other things, I just never put the entire package together.
I have always appreciated the beauty of nature and all things around me, well I guess sort of as now I see it so much more vividly. It is like suddenly the beauty has been enhanced by 1000 times or more. I see the beauty and the wonders that surround me, surround us all.
This world of our is awesome. Yesterday, I spent time really seeing and appreciating the wonders the beauty that has been there all the time, I just never saw it. I watched a bee flying from flower to flower both searching for food and pollinating the plants. Look around you there is so much to see.