Dying Manès Daily Journal – Happy Easter to all

March 31, 2013

Easter is a time when many families get together. I wish everyone a wonderful time. I only hope all take time to reflect on the meaning of this day.

Dying Man’s Daily journal – heart attacks

March 31, 2013

There has been some obvious interest in having me share my heart attack experiences and I have had 5. I am going too try to describe it from my own perspective, as I experienced it. None of them have been as dramatic the seen on TV, where the person suddenly grabs at their chest, maybe gasps once or twice and collapses unconscious to the ground. I am sure some may have had that experience, it is just I have not. Symptoms can vary widely and there is even a huge difference between what is generally experienced by a male or a female. I have to wonder how many know that. Well it is true.
Yesterday, I decided before I start describing my experiences and symptoms, it might be wise to visit a medical site, copy and post their descriptions of and the symptoms of a heart attack. Their general description may be more informative than my personal/individuals description. I copied the info from the Mayo Clinic and actually had a post up yesterday for a short while with that information. I am not even sure why I checked it. I just put up my posts as they are and that is it. I am glad I did though as some how with the copying and pasting it got all garbled and I deleted that post.
From Mayo Clinic web site, can not seem to get the link to work for the direct connection.

Typical heart attack symptoms



Chest discomfort or pain

This discomfort or pain can feel like a tight ache, pressure, fullness or squeezing in the center of your chest lasting more than a few minutes. This discomfort may come and go.

Upper body pain

Pain or discomfort may spread beyond your chest to your shoulders, arms, back, neck, teeth or jaw. You may have upper body pain with no chest discomfort.

Stomach pain

Pain may extend downward into your abdominal area and may feel like heartburn.

Shortness of breath

You may pant for breath or try to take in deep breaths. This often occurs before you develop chest discomfort or you may not experience any chest discomfort.


You may feel a sense of doom or feel as if you’re having a panic attack for no apparent reason.


In addition to chest pressure, you may feel dizzy or feel like you might pass out.


You may suddenly break into a sweat with cold, clammy skin.

Nausea and vomiting

You may feel sick to your stomach or vomit.

Most heart attacks begin with subtle symptoms — with only discomfort that often is not described as pain. The chest discomfort may come and go. Don’t be tempted to downplay your symptoms or brush them off as indigestion or anxiety.

Don’t “tough out” heart attack symptoms for more than five minutes. Call 911 or other emergency medical services for help. If you don’t have access to emergency medical services, have someone drive you to the nearest hospital. Drive yourself only as a last resort, if there are absolutely no other options.

Heart attack symptoms vary widely. For instance, you may have only minor chest discomfort while someone else has excruciating pain. One thing applies to everyone, though: If you suspect you’re having a heart attack, call for emergency medical help immediately.

Additional heart attack symptoms in women

Women may have all, none, many or a few of the typical heart attack symptoms. For women, the most common heart attack symptom is still some type of pain, pressure or discomfort in the chest. But women are more likely than are men to also have heart attack symptoms without chest pain, such as:
Neck, jaw, shoulder, upper back or abdominal discomfort
Shortness of breath
Nausea or vomiting
Abdominal pain or “heartburn”
Lightheadedness or dizziness
Unusual or unexplained fatigue

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – None the worse for the wear

March 28, 2013

Completed the second go round of heart test. Now it is more waiting for the doctors to review the results. Because of the up coming long week end it could take a few extra days.

Generally heart tests aren’t that difficult for the patient. Mostly you just lay there while they take pictures or get images via cat scan, ultra sound, there is a variety of ways.

It really is amazing the technology and variety of different medications they have today. They even have a medication that can “trick” your heart into thinking you are exercising or working hard. Even though you are just sitting there your heart begins to react as if you really were, in this case walking on a treadmill.
I have avoided talking about specific or technical medical issues as what I would write would be based only on my personal understanding. As I have said many times I am not a doctor and my personal understanding may in fact not be right on. I just wouldn’t want to mislead. I have had 5 heart attacks but have never described what is like to experience a heart attack. I do know that symptoms, signs of a heart attack can vary. I just wouldn’t want anyone to possibly base a decision on where or not to seek medical attention because of the way I may describe my own. I mean sort of like: “this can’t be a heart attack because it isn’t like Bill described a heart attack.”
More tomorrow. A special thank you to all that have left the messages of support.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – today has arrived

March 26, 2013

I have been awaiting today with both a little eager anticipation and well a little nervousness.

This afternoon I am off to the hospital for a two part test that I am told will determine a lot for the approach to on going medical treatment. Tests today and tomorrow, then wait for the doctor’s decision.

I have come to realize that patience is one of the life lessons I do need to work on. If I have some thing hanging over my head, I don’t like it. Instead of waiting not knowing, I would rather just face it head on, right now

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Am I God’s Messenger

March 25, 2013

I am God’ messenger. Wow, now isn’t that quite the statement, geesh, to say that I must really think I am someone special. Well, I most definitely am not. I am just a regular guy, an old goat sitting at his computer. I am no different, no more special than anyone else on this planet. So how could I dare to be so bold as to even imagine such a thing. I know many will be thinking (poor Bill has either flipped his lid or that brain tumour is affecting him) and hey, either is possible.
I believe that when we come into this world, we come with specific missions to accomplish. Now with our free will our lives may take all sorts of zigs, zags and detours as we travel down the highway of life. However, irregardless of any thing life will guide us to a specific spot at a specific time where we can accomplish that mission. At the time we won’t even realize it. It could be something big or it could be something small. We can’t ever really know how any of our actions can affect an other. As obviously I struggle to understand the effect of my words.
I think credit must be given where it is due. When ever I sit down to write anything, I do try my best to remember to pray. The prayer is the same each time, a part of which is: “Please guide my thoughts and my fingers to type a post that may help someone, anyone that may read this. Then I just start my ramble and up go thoughts as they come to my mind.
I deeply believe in the power of prayer are my prayers being answered as I ask for guidance in finding the words to help someone, anyone?
What I do know is there have been many times when I have sat down to post with a general idea in my head as to what I would be writing about, even going so far as to give the post a title. I then have said my little prayer and just start typing. Often I have reached the end and realized my thoughts had changed/strayed to the point that the title I had given the post when starting in no way came close to describing the content. I don’t even title the post any more until I see what I have written. Occasionally I forget that and a post goes up untitled, not that it makes any difference.
I have more to say but have tired myself out. Back some where at the beginning of the blog I am sure I must have posted of how I was guided to even start the blog Will try to get into that another day
There fore do I at times believe I am a messenger from God? Yes, I do but no more than I believe is each and every other person in this world

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Special prayer request – all Faiths please

March 25, 2013

Our dear blogging friend Beatice has left us a special prayer request. Her request:

I,am asking for lots of prayers for a young Mother who has a tumor in her lung that can not be operated on.Please join me in prayers to lift her up. Thank you so much!

I ask all please for prayers for this young mother. 

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Thank You

March 24, 2013

For more than a week now I have been seeking the words with which to respond to the so loving and wonderfully supportive comments left for me. A Question had been posted asking if I felt the blog was actually making a difference or was it in fact more like reading a book. Each post representing a chapter in the book. It is read, put down and life goes on as normal. I really had never given that any thought. Now I most certainly can’t say I fretted or stewed about it but I did give it thought as I do each and every comment posted.

I have come to a realization within myself. At some level within me I am more aware of what I am gaining through all of this. As I am sitting here a thought hit me. I am not sure when it was quite some time back a comment was posted asking what sort of scam I am running here. I just have to laugh. By my definition of a scam I should be gaining in some way be it financially or materially and in that way I have gained nothing, want nothing and am looking for nothing.
That though is not to say I have not gained tremendously as that I have. I have gained through the friendships and all the loving support I have found here. In my mind I am way ahead of the game. Those comments are but an example of the kindness and loving support I have received. I am so humbled by what I read.
Each is so supportive but is also touching and heart warming and deserving of a lengthy personal response. I just can’t seem to find the words that come any where close to expressing the feelings with in my heart. I have tried but each time found myself like going in a circle saying thank you in different ways just using different words to say the same thing. Sort of in the same way I am starting to do here.
For each comment I am going to reply with a simple thank you but please do know that those simple words don’t even begin to express my feelings

Dying Man’s Daily Journal

March 20, 2013

I am feeling very taken back both humbled and amazed at all of the loving support shown to me here on the blog. When I first started never in my wildest dreams did I even dare to imagine it would all turn out as wonderfully as it has and it is all do to you my treasured blogging friends.

What does this all so clearly demonstrate, the power of simple words.Think about it, I just sit here and share my thoughts and feelings of the moment. Nothing more than that, I don’t preplan, edit or even proof read. I do try to remember the spell checker. I do want the messages to be from the heart and I think if I started editing and all of that, my human mind may take over and change the content. I am not sure that even makes sense but hey that is my thought on it.
I have felt, experienced the powerful impact of words. I feel it every time I read one of the comments left here.
What does that so clearly point out. We all have the power of those words, we just possibly need to become more open with sharing them.
Again, think about it the use of words or possibly lack of them has made the world what it is today. It is that same use of words that WILL change it.
I ask all please, I know, I have felt the loving support in your words and it is amazing and uplifting. Please don’t just share them with me. Spread them around and make our world shine.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal

March 19, 2013

For the past week or so I have not been feeling to spry. Fatigue, listless, nausea non of it to the point that I could say I am really sick, just not well.
What I should have done was return here much sooner. Reading the so kind and supportive comments is such a moral booster, spirit raiser. I thank all so very much. I will try to get to each comment individually as each means so much to me and I do thank all

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Making the World Better

March 18, 2013

I have had a few I guess you could call them down days, not feeling spry at all. Feeling better. Have a couple of heart tests planned for next week which could be telling us a lot. It is the waiting the uncertainty that I find the hardest to deal with. I am sure patience is one of the life lessons I am to learn.

In a comment a a few days back I had a very interesting question posed to me. It was a very good question (as are allquestions). Diane I do thank you for asking me that I really had not thought of things in that way. Her question: “Do you feel your efforts have brought any real change or is reading your posts like the next chapter in a novel. It is read, put down as a regular novel and life is back to normal.”?

Well I hope I have had at least some impact be it ever so small on at least a few lives. Am I egotistical enough to think that someone will read my ramblings and there life will be changed for ever going forward? NO!!! I simply share my thoughts and feelings of the moment. I am not even going to say “my” thoughts are worthy of changing anyone else’s own thoughts feelings or actions. Take what you like and leave the rest.

If someone, anyone benefits in a positive way if even momentarily. I am content and it is worth the effort. I believe if we don’t open our hearts and at least try to do good, help others this world of ours will never change. The change has to begin with each of us individually doing our little bit no matter how small that little bit may seem. Every little bit adds up to make a big bit. That thought, of doing even a little bit reminds me of a post. OK, I went looking and found it way back in ’08. Here it is maybe it will illustrate what it is I am trying to say.

A woman was walking along a beach when she saw a man scooping up starfish off the sand and tossing them into the waves. Curious, she asked him what he was doing. He replied “When the tide goes out it leaves these starfish stranded on the beach. They will dry up and die before the tide comes back in, so I am throwing them back into the sea where they can live.”

The woman laughed, “But this beach is miles long and there are hundreds of stranded starfish, most will die before you reach them – do you really think throwing back a few starfish is going to make a difference?”

The man picked up a starfish and looked at it and threw it into the waves. “It makes a difference to this one” he said.

I received this wonderful story as part of a comment left by my new good blogging friend, Jennie. I thank you so much for this Jennie, the story is so inspirational. There really is so much we can all learn from it.

In the story here we have a man seemingly taking on a hopeless or maybe even seemingly a useless task. There are miles of beach all of which he alone can’t possibly cover to save all of the starfish. But, does he give it up as a useless or hopeless task, NO. He realizes you Maybe can’t mean the world to everyone, but you can be the world to someone. He was doing his part, to help the world and meant the world to those starfish he did save.

I meant it when I said he was doing his part to help the world, he realize that every little bit counts, every little bit helps. He was showing his true character and the size of his heart by helping a living thing in trouble. I can only imagine that a man with a heart this big would be also helping other people in anyway he could with that same determined effort. Realizing every little bit helps, no extra effort is to small and no one would be seen as being not worth his help. He would just do what he could and I am sure felt better in his heart for knowing he did what he could.

Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all did that, had that attitude. If we all just did what we could instead of just throwing up our hands in despair, thinking this task, this problem, whatever is just to big, so big that nothing I could ever do would make a difference. That thinking is just so wrong as truly every little bit helps. Love is what make this world go around. It is the one thing there really can never be to much of. It truly is a case of the more the better. You have it in your heart, an inexhaustible supply of love. By showing it, sharing it through a simple act of kindness to another can be your way of doing your bit to make the world a better place.

Sharing this love can and will have its own rewards as you will feel the very love in your heart that you are giving away is growing, more than you can imagine.