Dying Man’s Dialy Journal – 2 Boxes

January 31, 2008

I am taking the easy way out again today. I have received an email that so eloquently states my thought, there is really nothing more to say.
> God’s Boxes
> I have in my hands two boxes,
> Which God gave me to hold.
> He said, “Put all your sorrows in the black box,
> And all your joys in the gold .”
> I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,
> Both my joys and sorrows I stored,
> But though the gold became heavier each day,
> The black was as light as before.
> With curiosity, I opened the black,
> I wanted to find out why,
> And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole,
> Which my sorrows had fallen out by.
> I showed the hole to God, and mused,
> “I wonder where my sorrows could be!”
> He smiled a gentle smile and said,
> “My child, they’re all here with me..”
> I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
> Why the gold and the black with the hole?
> “My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
> The black is for you to let go.”
> We should consider all of our friends a blessing
> Send this to a friend today just to let them know you
> are thinking of them and that they are a joy in your life.
> A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end.
> It keeps us together like our Circle of Friends.
> But the treasure inside for you to see,
> Is the treasure of friendship you’ve granted to me.
> Today I pass the friendship ball to you.
> Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you…

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Special Prayer request.

January 31, 2008

I have just received a special prayer request from a dear blogging friend Jo. Please I ask all for prayers, here is Jo’s message:

Hi Bill, Can I be greedy and ask for a few prayers to be sent over this way. My Aunty is in the middle of her brain surgery as we speak, trying to remove the tumor. It’s a 50/50 chance. Any prayers would be appreciated……………………… Thanks heaps
Love Jo

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Spirit within me

January 28, 2008

Had a good weekend, quiet but good. I am feeling well and just plain excited to be alive.

We were blessed to be able to share our home with a very nice young man from Thompson. Zack, is the son of a very good friend of Vi’s and came to the city. Zack we enjoyed your company.

I am happy to see people are slowly joining my totally non-exclusive group of friends. I thank each a every one so very much. I again invite all to join our wonderful little group, maybe with time we can turn it into a wonderful big group. For any that may have missed my original post on this, I invite you to read the page, shown at the top of the screen, titled “Spirit within Me”. By clicking into that page you will read all about my friends and what the purpose of that page is. I thank and welcome all that have “signed up”.

I have been thinking a lot about this sort of thing a lot lately. I believe that contained with in each and every one of us, lies an inner light. The very essence of you, call it your soul, your spirit what ever, within that light is pure goodness, pure love. I believe we are all born with that light shining brightly and that light continues to shine just as brightly through our entire lives. Sadly as we grow and mature the events of our physical world can cause us to see things differently, maybe even warping or distorting our views.

As an illustration of what I mean, I picture the flame within as being like a beautiful lamp, here in our physical world. It is a beautiful light that brilliantly and beautifully lights the entire room. I picture the negativity in our lives as being the equivalent of a shade we would put on the lamp. As soon as the shade goes on the lamp, it doesn’t outwardly seem to give off the same light. With progressive events in our lives we continue to put thicker and thicker shades on the lamp. This continual adding of additional thicker shades, gradually diminishes the amount of the light that can be seen. Just because the brightness of the light is blocked doesn’t mean it is not there. It is still there as bright and beautiful as it ever was. For anyone of about a million reasons we have just covered the light, sometimes we have covered it so well, we can no longer even see or feel it. We have to know, it really is still there just buried under the mountain of issues in life.

Many have written to me about the wonderful feelings they have enjoyed by doing simple small acts of kindness. Truly helping another, not out of necessity but out of just wanting to. They write of the warm glow they feel inside, that comes from true acts of kindness, a giving from the heart. It truly is such a wonderful feeling. A wonderful feeling I hope that we all as a group can share. That as a group we can share our stories, love and support each other on this venture.

I am sure it is safe to say, everyone would agree there needs to be changes made in the way the world is today. I am sure we agree on that. But then I question, how as only one individual can I hope to make any change “in the world”. Here is but one line from my last post.

“You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.” I have read this before and then always just seemed to take it as applying to loved ones etc.. I now realize that it at any given moment apply to any and everyone. If I am drowning and a stranger jumps in the water and saves me, at that time that person means the world to me. It doesn’t even have to anything nearly as dramatic. There is just no way to tell how even a seemingly insignificant gesture on our part may affect the lives of others. A single smile can light the entire world as a group we can do much better than light the world we can make it shine.

This is such a win/win situation. The recipient of our kindness will obviously benefit for the very act itself. We will benefit, from the warm glow that we will feel inside. Maybe, even managing to take at least one layer of shade off of that light within.

There is a ripple effect to goodness and kindness. Lets create not ripples but waves.

Please check out the spirit “within me page”. Also please let me know what you think of this idea.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Stress Management

January 26, 2008

Often I receive emails that contain such a wonderful or meaningful message, I feel I just have to share. I look for these as so many have writing skills beyond my own and convey a message I would like to but, couldn’t do so in such an elegant manner. I received this from Kerry a very dear friend.

Stress Management:

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, “How heavy is this glass of water? ”
Answers called out ranged from 8oz. To 20 oz. The lecturer replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on
how long you try to hold it. “If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance.”
“In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. ”
> He continued, “And that’s the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on. ”
“As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. ”
“So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work/life down. Don’t carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.”
“Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you’ve rested. Life is short. Enjoy!
And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

1 * Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
4 * Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.
5 * If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
8 * Never buy a car you can’t push.
9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.
10 * Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
11 * Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.
13 * When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
15 * You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
16 * Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once
17 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box .
18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today .

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – My thinking/Be a Man

January 24, 2008

This may sound strange but the past few days I have been thinking about my thinking, where do some of my thoughts come from. Now I am not talking about here on the blog, I believe I know that. I am talking in just every day, day to day stuff.

At times I wonder about the old brain tumor. It is there, about the size of a large walnut. It’s located on the right frontal side. This is I am told the part of the brain that we use for things like judgement, control of impulsive actions, actually quite a few things that sort of determine the person I am. Our brain is naturally contained within the confines of our skull. Being confined as such, there is no natural room for swelling or for such a thing as a tumor. Within this confined space the tumor then just squishes other parts of the brain, compressing these parts into un-natual shapes and positions. It can’t help but have some sort of affect on you.

Hey, maybe I am really a big jerk, it is just the tumor has rearranged the brain in such a way, I am able to pass myself of as a reasonably nice guy. Now isn’t that food for thought, hmm.

I am what I consider to be a deep thinker and not prone to acting impulsively but I have notice that now arising and will just have to be more aware.

Just realized something, if I write something stupid or ridiculous, I can just blame it on the tumor. lol

Stepdaughter Lynelle was here all last week and as we talked. During her visits we usually find some time to chat, about anything and everything. Now memory guy is coming through again. I can’t actually remember what it was that we were talking about but what ever it was, it got me thinking about male/female roles in life.

First off, I believe in equality in every aspect, no exceptions. OK, that is a given. But, my mind is wandering along the lines, is there or should there at least be one additional expectation of men. Maybe some of this stems from something I can remember my mother saying when I was young. You know how somethings just sort of stand out or stick in your mind, well this is one of those for me.

“Always be a man. A real man is a gentleman. A gentleman always shows due respect to others. Under no circumstances would a gentleman ever hit a woman or anyone smaller than himself. He will always stand up to protect and defend his loved ones, himself and anyone in need.”

There may have been more, that I don’t remember. I like to consider myself a gentleman. Have there been times in my life where I know I have fallen short of that definition, sadly yes. But, it is something I have tried to generally live my life by.

I know there is an equally good argument about the ladies standing up and maybe one day I will post my thoughts on that. But, today I am just talking about the men and specifically in the home, thoughts on other areas of life will likely follow.

I just can’t fathom how any male that sees himself as really being a man, “the man of the house” could use his possible greater size and strength to do anything but protect your loved ones. There is no circumstance, situation or event, as angry as you may be, that could justify violence against women and children. THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS TO THIS, NONE. It is time for all real men to stand up and be counted, show yourself as being a man. If anyone realizes in their hearts, changes could be make. How about starting that change today, right now.

As men, we do often possess a larger physical stature and even greater physical strength. Let’s use that in the way it was meant to be used.

I guarantee, I will never strike a woman or child.

I guarantee, I will never use my size to bully anyone, ever.

I guarantee, if we hear a noise in the middle of the night. I will be the one checking it out, baseball bat in hand.

I guarantee, if anyone says or does anything, I ever perceive as being done to intentionally hurt my loved ones. I will be in your face, immediately.

It is almost strange reading that last point. I know it to be true. The strange part is I am a very easy going relaxed kind or guy. Very little upsets or bothers me, say or do something to me and I will very likely just laugh it off. Do the very same thing to my family, different story all together.

A direct question to every male reading this. Are you a gentleman, a real man or merely an over sized jerk pretending to be a man? Give it some thought before you automatically reply.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Writing/Center of my being

January 23, 2008

I am feeling good, tired but good. Sad that all the grand kids have gone home and will miss them all. Small children have such energy and are constantly on the go. Even if you are not actively involved in what ever it is they are doing, it is somehow tiring just watching them use up so much energy.

Saw my doctor on Monday. He is still concerned about the diabetes and the complications it may pose, with my heart. He spoke of foreseeing a major bump on the highway of my life coming soon. Major bump, minor bump it is all a matter of perspective, back to my two ways you can look at everything. I am excited about my life and am ready for all that live brings to me.

I just backed up to restart this paragraph as what I am saying fits right in with something a dear blogging friend Jill, asked of me. To share any tips I may have on writing. Sharing tips on my writing style now that is a tough one, I don’t think I have a style. I think of this as my journal and just sit and write what ever thoughts are in my head. When I think of it, that makes it so much easier for me. No planning, no editing nothing, just write what comes to mind. When I see the obvious work so many others put into their posts I realize how easy I have it. OK, back to what I had written before.

Today, as with most days as I come to the computer, I had no idea what I would post about, that is other than the little bit on family and health. I have to admit at the very beginning of the blog I used to fret about this a little. Sort of like, gee I am writing something on the internet I should have something maybe even meaningful to say. I don’t worry at all about that anymore. I just come and type whatever. I know something will come to me, it always does.

I do though have a process or ritual what ever you wish to call it that I do every time, prior to writing anything. I come to the computer and just relax for a minute or so. Trying to get myself into a semi meditative state. I then say a simple prayer asking God to give me some thoughts that I may share that may help someone, anyone. I then ask the Arch Angels, Michael, Gabriel, Uriel and Raphael, and all the Angels in the heavens to come to my side. To guide me and assist me in understanding and sharing any message that may help someone, anyone.

I used to come at times with somewhat of an idea in my head of what it was I wanted to write. After my little ritual, I would actually start off, title the post and go to it. More often than not I would be surprised when finished, to see my thoughts had actually taken me in an entirely different direction. The title I had previously selected and typed in some how came no where close to applying to what I had written. I give every post a title but now wait to see what I have written before I name it. Some times when I am finished I think for a moment or two on what I have said and am some what surprised, thinking, huh, I never thought of it that way before.

This is why so often I refer to myself as a rambler and not a writer. I just start off and ramble on. If in fact I do on occasion come up with a thought that may strike a chord with someone, due credit should be given where it really belongs.

Today, is a perfect example of what I am saying. Beyond an idea about the first couple of thoughts, I had no idea of what I would write about. The computer is in the office/den/library what ever you want to call it. I am surrounded by many many books. I finished my first couple of paragraphs and still had no idea on what if anything I would write. I just sat back wondering, my eyes with out any thought just wandered over to one of the bookcases, lined with books. My attention was immediately grabbed by the bright gold cover on one particular book. I couldn’t just off hand think of what the book was, so had to get up and get it to check it out.

It is titled “Taking Time To Just Be”. A Helen Exley giftbook. As soon as I saw the front cover I knew immediately which book it was and knew it contains many wonderful quotes containing such wisdom.

I said a quick prayer asking for guidance and randomly opened it. I share with you a quote by Lao Tzu, from Tao Te Ching.

“We always hope someone else will have the answer. Some other place will be better, some other time it will all turn out well. This is it. No one else has the answer. No other place will be better, it has already turned out. At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and what you want.”

I had to read that a few times before it hit me as to how it applies to my life. I am the one in control of my life, I am the one responsible for my life. Yes, I can look to others for guidance or suggestions on issues in my life. But I am the one that must accept responsibility for my life. I am the one that must face my own issues, deal with them and I am the one that must face the consequences of these decisions or actions. No one else should be making my decisions for me (that excluding children). I am only now really seeing, I, at the center of my being, containing the spark of God’s love, do have the answers for me.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Making the best on any situation

January 22, 2008

Today is a day I am really not feeling spry. Had an outing planned this morning but am just not going to make it. As always it will pass soon.

I see today a very nice comment left by very good friends, Hal and Lois. Has me thinking back to when I first met Hal.

Hal and I shared a hospital room for a week a couple of years ago. We were both being tested for brain activity or maybe lack of it. Actually, we were both being monitored for seizures. We each had I think it was 16 electrodes and wires attached to our heads and were being monitored 24/7. Our activity or mobility was limited to about 2 or 3 feet from our beds. Actually for each of us our stay in the hospital was 2 weeks, we were just room mates for one of the weeks.

Now lets face it being “stuck” in the hospital for 2 weeks like this could be a pretty trying time, hard to endure, seemingly never ending. But truly every experience is what you make it. My week with Hal as a room mate proved to be one of the most enjoyable and memorable times of my life. Hal, I thank you buddy.

Those that know me, know I love playing practical jokes. Hey, you have to do something to liven things up when in the hospital like that. Anyway, Hal and I were shown how to disconnect ourselves from the machine, for bathroom breaks. We sometimes cheated and disconnected ourselves for more, shame on us.

Any way to the prank. I talked to one of the nurses and she was in on my plan.  I got an adult diaper when Hal wasn’t around. I had saved some peanut butter from my breakfast tray and smeared it, inside the diaper in the appropriate places and pour in some water. I then hid the diaper under unsuspecting, Hal’s bed. He returns and we just carry on business as normal. That is until the nurse, the one that was in on it, next entered the room.

I then said something to the effect: “Hal, buddy I am sorry to do this to you, but I know you have a problem that the doctors and nurses aren’t aware of. There is help for this, buddy and I am sorry but for your own good, I just have to tell the nurse. The shocked puzzled look on Hal’s face was priceless. I then said to the nurse, “if you look under Hal’s bed you will find something that will show you what the problem is.” Even more surprised look on Hal’s face. The nurse looks under the bed and pulls out the apparently soiled diaper. She showed a look of mock surprise. Poor Hal was speechless.

I quickly explained and a good laugh was had by all. Hal, buddy you were a good sport and a great room mate.