Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Things that make me go huh

November 28, 2008

I seem to have more and more time these days to just sit and think, pondering about life, the world, just every thing in general. It seems the more I do this the more I realize there are just so many things I just don’t understand, that just sort of leave me going, HUH???? Some examples:

In the Christian world Jesus Christ is an EXTREMELY Important figure. Now to say extremely important is such an understatement, the very fundamentals of Christianity are based on His teachings. Now a little more than 2,000 years ago He walked this earth as does any human. He lived, He breathed, but most importantly He taught us all. Both through his teachings and the way He lived His life. Now I have often read of how having a possitive role model in you life can be a very positive thing. Now in the Christian world could you possibly have a better role model than Jesus, Himself? I don’t think so. Did he ever turn away or shun the sinners, the sick or the poor. This is but one example of the things that make me go “huh” when I think of some of our modern Churches. I don’t know this but I would imagine there are comparables in the other great Faithes. I would be interested in hearing about that.

I think of the human mind of how spectacular it really is. Now that statement applies to all people but here I am thinking more particularly of some of the great inventors. There are so many great inventions but let’s just take the simple telephone as an example. Maybe it is I have a limited imagination. But, how would someone even come up with the idea. Is it like you are sitting at the kitchen table one morning and the idea suddenly hits you. “If I run a small electrical charge through a wire, attach a receiver to each end of it, people will be able to talk to each other, while thousands of miles apart”. Huh!!

Let’s think of a car, just a regular automobile. Make or model doesn’t matter. Now that particular car will be available in numerous different colors. Now we all know that a car is just a car, irregardless of color. Now that is easy to understand. Why then is it seemingly so difficult for some to apply that principal to people. “a person is just a person, irregardless of color, race, faith, sex or anything else”.

Hey, this almost feels like cheating or something. I was going through my save draft posts and found this one. I read it and all those things still make me go HUH!!!!

Just have one more to add, based on something I read in the newspaper this morning. Now when you read somthing in the newspaper you always have to allow for the fact the writter, try as they might, will always put a bit of a slant on the article based on personality. I read the article and read it with my own biases and filters in place. Now, I think anyone that has read much of the blog will know I am totally color blind when it comes to the color of skin. Skin color makes absolutely no difference to me and my “huh” would be just as real, irregardless of skin color. This is what I got out of the particular article. The students at a particular university have in the past had a fund raiser. It was very successful and a lot of fun for the students. Funds were raised for a particular disease. This year the fund raiser has been cancelled because it was found the particular disease predominantly affects white males. HUH! A  disease is a disease what does sex or color have to do with anything, irregardless of anything.

Got anything that just makes you go “huh”. I would love to hear of it.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Birthday request

November 25, 2008

I have a lot of saved drafts, being posting that I partially completed but didn’t finish for one reason or another. The most likely reason is that when I returned to it I just couldn’t seem to regain the same train of thought I had started with and just didn’t know if there was some sort of point I was trying to make, I have forgotten what is there and just started an new one on the same lines. Occasionally, I will go back to them and can maybe complete them.

I was poking through them last evening and found one that I had started exactly one year ago today. The timing is right so I am picking it up and finishing it off. Here we go:

Every year I flat our ask for a birthday present from any and all that may read this. Well I am doing it again, flat out asking for birthday presents from all. I am in fact asking for the same present from all.

What is it I am asking for? A simple random act of kindness. This gesture of kindness can be done for anyone. Who it is done for doesn’t matter at all. The what it is exactly again doesn’t matter at all. It can be big, it can be small, it doesn’t matter at all.

I know all do countless act of kindness on a daily basis, I realize and appreciate that. What I am asking for is for just one little extra act be done. Where we specifically look for, watch for any opportunity to do a little something for someone else. Not because we have to, not because it is expected of us. but purely from the love and goodness contained within our hearts. Ever act we preform has ripple effects and will be passed on, how far will it be spread we are never to know. How great will the ripple effect be again we may never know. We are content within our hearts knowing we did something good for someone else. Not because we had to but because we wanted to.

The gift to me is knowing acts of kindness are being done, well to celebrate my birthday. Something like that has to make a person feel good. My birthday is coming up on December 13th and I hope you will share with me what you have done.

Again, as I said the size of the act doesn’t matter or for whom it is done doesn’t matter. What matters is that something is done.

I remember reading a saying some where that went something like this;

“For want of a nail a horse shoe was lost,

For want of a horse shoe a horse was lost,

For want of a horse a message was not delivered and lost,

For want of the message not being delivered a war was lost.”

Did this ever actually happen, I have no idea, but it really illustrates my point about the ripple effect. Can I see that such a scenario could be possible , yes I can. Something as tiny and seemingly insignificant as a simple nail or I suppose the lack of one created such a huge ripple effect. We just can never know how far and how deep a simple act can spread.

Please, let’s all get together and create so many ripples it creates a tidal wave that will sweep the world with kindness and good deeds.

At the top of this page you will see a line containing the various pages I have created within this blog. Click on any or all but today please check out the “spirit within me” page and maybe join my very non exclusive club. I hope to hear from you all.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Donkey Wisdom

November 24, 2008

Have been having a lot more chest issues lately. It is like I have had this chest cold for it must be close to a year now. No, it is over a year as I remember the first time the doc put me on antibiotics and we talked about Halloween. Strange the things I remember and what I don’t remember. It seems like I am on the road to recovery but never quite make it all the way before it comes back.

Yeah, I know poor me I have a chest cold. It just wears you down after a year of it. Heart failure affects your breathing. Short of breath after doing even the simplest of tasks. Walk up a flight of stairs, take a shower and I am huffing and puffing like a steam engine. I joke that for me to take a shower is almost a waste of time. I keep the water as cool as I can, avoiding the humidity. By the time I am finished and dried off, I am sweating so much you would think I had just done a marathon. I am not sure but I think this sweating is the bodies way of helping to get rid of the extra fluid I always seem to be carrying. It is not until times like this when I really sit down and think about it that I do realize physical activity is becoming more and more restircted or limited.

I shouldn’t complain, I know so many others have it so very much worse. Hey, a thought just hit me. I always say there is always two ways you can look at everything. What is the life style so many men dream about? Being able to sit around doing nothing, napping as I choose, watching TV as I want to. Hey, I am living the dream life, so I had better quite complaining.

An old fable or story comes to mind. I am not sure where I heard this or read it.

There is a very isolated, very poor village located somewhere. The donkey of one of the farmers falls into an old dry well. The farmer no matter how hard he tries can’t get the donkey out. He calls on all the other villagers. Soon the entire village is gathered around the well, discussing various ways to get the donkey out. Each possible way is discussed and then rejected as being to difficult of to expensive. Ultimately, it was desided there was just nothing that could be done to save the donkey and as the well was dry, it might as well be filled in with dirt so that nothing else would fall into it.

(I know, I know, it sounds inhuman to bury a donkey alive but bear with me on this) A group begins to throw shovel full after shovel full of dirt into the hole. Almost miraculously they all see the donkey begining to rise up out of the hole. They realize that as each shovel full of dirt hits the donkey’s back he is merely shrugging it off. Then as the dirt lands at his feet he is using it to build himself a higher and higher sturdy base to stand on. The donkey is save the dry well is filled in and all ends well.

I like this story, I am not sure how well I have worded it to convey the real meaning it has for me. Can we use this as a comparable to so much that happens in our own lives? Almost daily we have some sort of “dirt” thrown on us. The only difference is the “dirt” thrown on us is usually “emotional dirt” being the problems and stresses of life. Do we have what I call, Donkey wisdom? Do we shake off the “dirt” thrown our way, using it as a platform to build a more solid base to stand on? Or, do we lie down and allow it to bury us? Think about it and let me know.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Wisely spending our time

November 21, 2008

A special thank you to my wonderful cousin Gloria. Gloria you always seem to be able to find those special messages that hit close to home for me. I thank you.

Another of Gloria’s special emails:

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: ‘Daddy, may I ask you a question?’

DAD: ‘Yeah sure, what it is?’ replied the man.

SON: ‘Daddy, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD: ‘That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?’ the man said angrily.

SON: ‘I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD: ‘If you must know, I make $50 an hour.’

SON: ‘Oh,’ the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: ‘Daddy, may I please borrow $25?’

The father was furious, ‘If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don’t work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.’

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn’t ask for money very often The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.

‘Are you asleep, son?’ He asked.

‘No daddy, I’m awake,’ replied the boy.

‘I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier’ said the man. ‘It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $25 you asked for.’

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. ‘Oh, thank you daddy!’ he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.

The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

‘Why do you want more money if you already have some?’ the father grumbled.

‘Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,’ the little boy replied.

‘Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.’

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It’s just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Tired

November 20, 2008

Feeling good, just very tired and worn out. Seem to have to push myself to do anything. I think today will be one of my “comfy” days. Lie on the bed watching TV, constantly dozing off, waking up and then dozing off again. I know it is a tough job but someone has to do it, so might as well be me. Had a few more chest pains over the past few days but nothing the nitro spray couldn’t handle.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Priorities

November 17, 2008

Well, I am back on my feet so to speak. Really haven’t felt to spry for the past few days but all of that if behind me. Over the past few years I have really developed a greater appreciation of all of the various medications available today. Of how much easier they can make our lives and even keep us alive. I know it is the various medications prescribed to me that have in fact kept me alive and is keeping me that way.

I have also come to more appreciate the importance of taking them as prescribed. By that I just mean I can look back into my past and remember times when I may have had a prescription for an antibitotic or something. The prescription may have been for say 7 or 10 days or what ever. I would be feeling better after say 4 or 5 days and quit taking them, WRONG. I can only urge all to take your medications as prescribed for as long as prescribed. Hate taking pills, well in this case suck it up and do it.

Huh, it is amazing how my attitude has changed over the years. Way back in “the day” I was guilty of doing just what I am talking about. Has that ever changed, I now gulp them down by the handful as and when prescibed. I suppose it is another one of those situations you don’t pay that much attention to, until it literally becomes a case of life or death. Then suddenly do you ever pay attention!!!

Why is it that there really are so many things in life that we don’t pay that much attention to or realize the importance of until it suddenly becomes life or death. I am using medications here just as an example but our lives are full of such examples. I would hope everyone reading this will take just a moment and really stop and think. How many things do you have in your life today, that you know should get done.  You know it really should be done, is even important to get done, You know it should be done but can easily be put off until tomorrow or even next week as then you will have more time and it will be more convenient. If you have thought of a few things, I pose another question. How do you know you will have a next week or even a tomorrow?

How much of our lives do we spend doing what is most convenient at the time? We take the quickest and the easiest way out because we always have tomorrow. Hey, if we jump back in time about 5 years ago. I would have been one of the first to jump up and say: : ” my life is to busy to hectic to do everything I want the way I want. Some things just have to be put off. I have to take the easy, the quickest way, I am just to busy/tired to do it any other way today. I will get to those things when I have more time.”

AH, time now that is the magic word there. Time is our most valuable commodity or asset. It is just we don’t appreciate or even realize that fact. Ever single person on this earth has a limited amount of time to spend here. I hope and pray that everyone has years and years of precious time before them, but how can any of us know? So you really think I ever thought I would be diagnosed with heart failure in my early 50’s. Do you really think that I ever imagined my physical capablities would suddenly be so reduced or limited at this age? Answer is easy and obvious, no I didn’t. I lived life squandering so many precious moment because there is always tomorrow.

Life is precious, time is precious, even a single moment once gone is gone forever. Maybe, we all need to really take a look at our priorities in any given day or week, what ever. If we find we just don’t have time to fit in what we know to be important, is it time to reestablish our priority list putting things in a little more proper prospective.

One example many will be able to relate to. Is your job important? Obviously, yes it is an important part of your life and will take up a lot of your time. On your priority list though, where does it fit? Above health, family and even life itself???? Suppose you have some sort of medical condition that you know you really should get to a doctor to get checked out. Further suppose it is a really really busy time at work. Which would you give priority to, the busy time at work or your health? Now, I am not thinking of something like a common cold here. Think about it!

This is one of my 3 day rambling posts done a bit here and a bit there. I think I started off on medications, oh well. It is my journal and I can write what I want.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Feeling better

November 16, 2008

Haven’t been at the computer much the past couple of days. It seems almost like forever that I have been fighting this chest cold. It seems to clear up for a short while and then suddenly is back with a vengeance.  It is obvious I am suffering from a “MAN” cold. It is important for all ladies to realize the is obviously a difference between a “MAN” cold and a “LADY” cold. Just look at how much more complaining and whining we do. Based on that fact alone a “MAN” cold must be much worse. OK, there may be just a slight chance that the male of the species is more like a big baby, but I won’t go there. Anyway, I am feeling much better. My internal temperature gauge just seems to be out of wack as I go from sweltering hot to that bone chilling cold seemingly with in seconds. I feel fine so this temperature thing is just a bit of an inconvenience.

I noticed today here in the blog I have 22 saved drafts. Why so many, might be asked. Well it seems often I will start a post, full of vim and vigor. For a variety of reasons I may take a break. At times on returning I find I have lost my train of thought as to where I was going with the post. I save it and may start another one. My last posting on culture is a prime example, I started that way back, I don’t even know when. I added to it on the weekend and still didn’t get it up until a couple of days ago.

Hey, I can say some of my posts are months in the making.  Now, doesn’t that sound impressive. lol. I look back and can see how much things have changed since I started writing. Way back “when”, I used to just sit down and rattle off what ever was on my mind and there it was, finished and done, no proof reading or even spell checking, just done. Now it seems more often than not it is 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there sort of thing.

I suppose the fact that I have 22 saved drafts says a lot in itself. I am going to have to go back and really take a look at them, all I know are at various stages of completion. A thought just hit me. We all know at some point in time the journal will come to an end. I have mentioned of how I have already written the “last post”. It will be put up by a family member and when it appears my journey and the journal will have ended. I think I am going to ask to have all the saved drafts published at that same time, irregardless of what stage of completion they are at. I must have had some train of thought going on when I started them, maybe someone will be able to figure it out.

Am going to try to spend some time today responding individually to the cherished comments I have received and hope to be “back in business” by tomorrow.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Be back soon

November 15, 2008

Not feeling to spry, still struggling with this chest cold and a little extra fluid build up. Will be back in action I am sure in a day or so.

Not to be worried I am fine.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Importance of Culture

November 13, 2008

Had 2 longer naps yesterday and a good nights sleep last night, I am feeling good and rested.

I have been pondering for a while on the real value of culture. Now by culture I am referring to or thinking of it as being in maintaining the ways and traditions of our individual ancestors. Now for me, I am a Canadian, but by ancestry, I am part English and part Irish. I am not sure how to maintain my culture or really what it even is. It seems people of every nation are very proud and understandably so of their individual cultures. Can someone help me out here? I am Canadian and very proud of that fact, but as a Canadian, what is the culture, I should maintain?

Canada is a country full of wonderful people, no question about that. It seems though that we don’t share a common Canadian culture. It is like we are a gathering spot for people from all around the world. I don’t know this but I imagine somewhere in Canada we have people of every nationality and every faith known to man. To that I say good. It seems as people come to Canada they like to maintain the “culture” of the country from which they came and that is fair enough, I understand and respect that. We are a country of very mixed and diverse nationalities and cultures that live side by side in peace and Harmony. That is wonderful, we all can learn and gain so much from other cultures.

I don’t know the answer to this so I pose it as a question. By everyone coming together and to at least some degree maintaining their “previous culture” are we depriving ourselves of developing a truly Canadian “culture”? I am not trying to say this is either a good thing or a bad thing. I quess, I am just left wondering if say I emigrated to Australia or somewhere and wanted to maintain my Canadian culture, how would I do that? What do I have to maintain? I just don’t know.

OK, to figure this culture thing out, I went to wikopedia and got this:

Culture can be defined as all the ways of life including arts, beliefs and institutions of a population that are passed down from generation to generation. Culture has been called “the way of life for an entire society.”[3] As such, it includes codes of manners, dress, language, religion, rituals, games, norms of behavior such as law and morality, and systems of belief as well as the art.

Now by ancestory I am part English and part Irish. Does this mean I should be looking back to England or Ireland to find “my culture”? But, I am not English, I am not Irish, I am Canadian.

I am not trying to sound negative on this whole culture idea, I am trying to understand it and the tremendous importance it seems to have for some. Is not culture but mere history. A history of the way our individual ancestors did things in the past. That is good to know, good to learn from and honor. But what does that have to do with me as an individual today and how I choose to live my life today.

I really would appreciate feed back on this as I really don’t get it. Here are but 2 examples of why I just don’t get it.

Now understand I am not trying to belittle or minimize the situation of anyone, be it an individual or a group. I am trying to understand it, so please explain it to me.

I have heard and read of many people that feel their lives today have if not been destroyed at least hampered or minimized by the lose of their origingal culture. Now my heart and prayers do go out to all and I am not trying to minimize past injustices. But, culture is history, some ancient history some fairly recent history, but history none the less, today is today. Maybe, I don’t understand the importance of culture since I don’t even know really what mine is. I guess that means I have been deprived of my culture.

My second point is in our child care system here in Canada. I am specifically thinking of when children are placed into foster care, often having been taken away from parents for anyone of a multitude of reasons. Now what I am saying applies equally to children of every ethnic background. Such a child is essentially placed into the care of the government all administered to by different agencies. Now in my mind, the well being of the child should take priority over all other. This does not indeed seem to be the case as is seen by my non expert eye based on newspaper articles. Major priority seems to be returning the child to some member of the family, be they qualified or not. Another major priority is to place the child in a home of the same ethnic background. I understand and appreciate that. So often I read that this “culture” thing takes priority over the well being of the child and to that I say WRONG.

I just don’t understand the importance of this whole “culture thing”.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Final Inspection

November 12, 2008

I just received this from my cousin Gloria. Being the day it is today, it is to good not to share.




The soldier stood and faced God,

Which must always come to pass.

He hoped his shoes were shining,

Just as brightly as his brass.

“Step forward now, you soldier,

How shall I deal with you?

Have you always turned the other cheek?

To My Church have you been true?”

The soldier squared his shoulders and said,

“No, Lord, I guess I ain’t.

Because those of us who carry guns,

Can’t always be a saint.

I’ve had to work most Sundays,

And at times my talk was tough.

And sometimes I’ve been violent,

Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny,

That wasn’t mine to keep…

Though I worked a lot of overtime,

When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,

Though at times I shook with fear.

And sometimes, God, forgive me,

I’ve wept unmanly tears.

I know I don’t deserve a place,

Among the people here.

They never wanted me around,

Except to calm their fears.

If you’ve a place for me here, Lord,

It needn’t be so grand.

I never expected or had too much,

But if you don’t, I’ll understand.

There was a silence all around the throne,

Where the saints had often trod.

As the soldier waited quietly,

For the judgment of his God.

“Step forward now, you soldier,

You’ve borne your burdens well.

Walk peacefully on Heaven’s streets;

You’ve done your time in Hell.”

~Author Unknown~

It’s the Soldier, not the reporter WHO has given us the freedom of the press.

It’s the Soldier, not the poet, WHO has given us the freedom of speech.

It’s the Soldier WHO ensures our right to Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness,

Not the politicians.

It’s the Soldier who salutes the flag, WHO serves beneath the flag, AND whose coffin is draped by the flag.

If you care to offer the smallest token of recognition and appreciation for the Military,

PLEASE pray for our men and women

WHO have served and are currently serving our country

AND pray for those who have given the ultimate sacrifice for freedom.

God bless our soldiers, sailors and airmen, past and present.