Dying Man’s Daily Journal – No Exit Upstage

July 23, 2009

At my brothers and have quick access to his  computer.

Monday evening was a wonderful one for both Vi and I. The Winnipeg Fringe Festival is currently going on here in the city.

We attended a short play, No Exit Upstange and found it to be both enjoyable  and humorous. I would recommend it to anyone attending the festival.

Now how did I happen across this one particular play. On my blog roll you will see the name Natashia. Natashia is definititly an artist as her blog is titled. She is a fine actor, who happens to be acting in this production.

After the play was over, Natashia and I met and she graciously accepted our invititation to join us at our home for dinner and an evening of wonderful conversation.

I will have much more to say about this but for now will just encourage all to get out and see the play.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Prayers and worth of a woman

July 17, 2009

Stopped by my bother’s house. Here I can access the internet. My computer is still down, awaiting the key board that is in transit.

My message is short today. I am asking for prayers for our dear blogging friend Sarah. Over the past few months Sarah has become an important part in many of our lives. If you check back and read her various messages, she has been bravely battling cancer in the final stages.

Sarah our prayers are with you and we all hope the best for you and that we may even actually hear from you again here on the blog.

While here at my brothers I have also checked email, which I can’t access from home. There are many messages that are so meaningful to me. With Sarah in mind this one really struck me:

One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.

They don’t take “no” for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies…
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colours.

They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.

Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.


This is directed to Sarah and all the wonderful ladies both in my life and every where in this world.

My wise bother Eric just walked past and pointed out laughingly. Women don’t appreciate their own worth any more than they seem to appreciate the value of the Howdle brothers. LOL

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Gone for a few days

July 10, 2009

Stopped over at my brother Eric’s to check out the new garage he has just had built, very nice.

Taking advantage of being here to get on his computer. Having a problem with my own. Key board had died.

I won’t usually mention any particular companies or products that I use but have to say a big hello and thank you to Paul. Paul is a service tech with logitech computers. I called about the key board and he very patiently led me through a series of things that I could do to get it going again. May lack of computer skills is likely well known by now. Paul has the patience on an Angel and stuck  with me. Nothing we did could get it working again so a new one is one the way, for which I am very grateful. Thank you Paul.

Hope it gets here soon. I am not able to access anything on the computer, obviously withour a key board. I can still get in a read messages just can’t type anything. This also includes my email. I hope to be back up and running within a few days.

Blessings to all

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Kindness of People

July 7, 2009

How often have I written of the true kindness, the loving and giving nature of people? I don’t know but it has been lots.

I experienced some of that first hand last evening and it is a story I really do want to share.

To begin, I have to go back about 5 or 6 weeks ago. Back at that time I was experiencing a lot of problems with my sleep apnea and my CPAP machine. I was sitting in the waiting room of the clinic that deals with the machines, awaiting my turn to be seen. There was only one couple in the waiting room. Being me, I struck up a conversation with them. We only chatted for maybe 10 minutes if that. Majority of the conversation I don’t recall the specifics of but:

I do recall  they were Nelson and Marie McKay from the First Nations Community (Reserve) of Cross lake. I related how I had lived in Norway House a similar community and really enjoyed my stay up north. It turns out Nelson was at the clinic, with his CPAP machine as he was having real problems getting used to sleeping with the mask, the high pressure wind blowing in your face. I do remember encouraging him to be patient with it and to stick to it as once you got used to wearing it, it was very well worth it.

Now I can’t really remember how it came up, but I do remember talking about how I missed the fishing up north and that I loved eating fish, especially pickerel. As I was being called in to my appointment Nelson quickly asked for my phone number saying he would be back in the city and would bring me some fish. I readily gave him my number, thanked him and basically rushed off as the nurse was waiting.

On the way home, I thought of how I had enjoyed our little chat and of the nice gesture, the thought of bringing me some fish. I guess at the time that is what I thought it was, just a nice gesture, a nice thought, bringing me some fish the next time he was in town. I suppose to be honest I thought that was all that it was, just one of those things we all say to be nice. I mean who really would go to all the trouble of catching, filleting, freezing and then transporting fish all the way to Winnipeg for a stranger. I mean that is really who I was to them. We had after all chatted for a grand total of 10 minutes if that. He had no idea who I was other than some guy named Bill.

Well obviously, the 10 minute chat wasn’t long enough for me to really get to know them, for the kind, loving and generous people they are.

Four or Five days ago the phone rang. It was Marie asking if I could meet her at the bus depot last night at 9:30. She was coming to town and had some fish for me. FANTASTIC. Naturally, I quickly agreed.

I was excited and I talked about this kind act many times over this past few days. Repeating to myself many times: 9:30 on Monday bus depost, 9:30 on Monday, 9:30 on Monday.

Now, I know I have mentioned my memory. I imagine all pretty much know what I am going to say now. Yup, I forgot, geesh. HOW COULD I DO THAT!!!!!!

About, 9:50 the phone rings, it is Marie. I instantly felt so very bad and almost fell all over myself apologizing. Off to the bus depot I went. Now you know this is the time you are going to hit every single traffic light, red. Now our initial meeting had been so brief, that on the phone we had to describe ourselves to each other, do we would recognize each other.

I arrived and there patiently waiting for me was Marie, her son and sister. Again I apologize profusely for keeping them waiting. I tried to offer some sort of payment for the fish, politely declined. I offer a ride, again politely declined.

I am truly overwhelmed by this kindness and generocity to a stranger that you simply learn likes to eat fish.

Nelson and Marie, I do thank you so very much. The stranger you know as Bill is in fact me. You are shining examples of the people I so often write of, people with kind and generous hearts. May God Bless You.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Avalanche of goodness

July 6, 2009

Feeling good today. The inhaler seems to be improving the chest/lung infection or at least breathing is easier.

I am not really sure where I got this from, something I read, saw on TV, I don’t know.

One thought has sort of stuck in my mind: “Do you think any individual snow flake would consider itself responsible for an avalanche.”

Depending on where you live, some may not understand or appreciate the potenial severity of an avalanche. It is one of, it not the most dangerous natural occurance that can happen in a snowy mountainous area. Tons and tons,maybe hundreds of tons of snow can build up high atop some mountains. As the weight of this snow increases something will trigger an avalanche (cause the snow to slide down the mountain), possibly just its own tremendous weight together with gravity. Depending on the size many will sweep away people, trees and even buildings. It’s power in its downward slide is tremendous, nothing can stand in its way.

So again, would an individual snow flake consider itself repsonsible for such devistation? Let’s use our imaginations and assume a snow flake could think such thoughts. I think it would be safe to say no individual snow flake would ever consider itself responsible for the avalanche or any of the destruction the avalanche may have done. “I am just one tiny snow flake what could I have done? I weigh virtually nothing, by myself what could I possibly have done?”

In thinking that, that individual snow flake would be WRONG. Simply put, an avalance is just a huge pile of snow that slides down a mountain with unbelievably awesome destructive power. What is that pile of snow made of? Individual snow flakes. Every single little snow flake contrubutes its part to the avalanche. Each is just as individually responsible as the next, it contributed its part as small as it may have been.

This got me thinking of how this is actually a good comparable to our lives. I see myself as that individual little snow flake. In the overall scheme of things in this big world, I as an individual could consider myself to be as insignifcant as that little snow flake. In this big world of ours I as an individual am so small (OK not literally) and insignificant there is really nothing I can do that would contribute to anything. Here my thinking would be just as wrong as was that of the little snow flake.

That little snow flake became a part of something much bigger than itself, just as I am a part of something much bigger than myself. I am a part of a family, a community, a country, I am a part of the human race.

To me any contribution I make may seem small and insignificant, especially when we take it to the level of being a part of the human race. Any part I play in that, is a contribution. Am I doing my small part towards building an avalanche of goodness and love that one day will flow over the world.I can at least try to improve the quality of my contribution, no matter how small it may seem to me.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Healing Power of Prayer

July 4, 2009

A few weeks ago I wrote of a visit to my doctor and of how he cheered me right down. I saw him again on Thursday and what he had to say could have cheered me down even more. This time I suppose I was more prepared. I like to know what is going on and not be caught by surprise. I am sure I will write about it sometime soon. Part of what he told me was of an infection he believes I have in my lungs. I have been having a great deal more difficulty breathing lately. He gave me a puffer, one of those things you put in your mouth and inhale what comes out of it when you give it a push. Hey, it has steroids in it, I guess that means I am going to grow bigger muscles and become really buffed. lol

It was so sad a few days ago to learn from our dear blogging friend Juanita, that her daughter was facing surgery to remove a cancerous kidney. I was, as I am sure were many greatly relieved and so happy to hear the surgery went well. I ask please for continued prayers to aid in her further recovery.

As I sit here I think of the amazing healing power of prayer. It was so gratifying for me to read the comments left for Juanita and her daughter and knowing prayers were being said for them from literally around the world. I thank you for this my friends, it shows what kind and loving hearts you all have.

I have been doing this blog for a while now and have over that time seen many requests for prayers come forth. Each time that request has been answered by many. That I can recall, based on follow up messages, these prayers were answered. Thank you, Heavenly Father.

I am so grateful to all that have said prayers for me and mine over this time, I know each and everyone of them has helped. I thank you all and I thank our Heavenly Father for responding as he has.

It has taken me until now to really realize and appreciate the truly awesome power of prayer and how they are answered. There is so much that is far beyond my understanding. An important discovery for me has been simply that I don’t have to understand. I just need to accept that the wisdom of Our Father is so much greater than my own. There really are no words that can describe “how much” greater. I just know it is greater than anything I could even begin to imagine.

I chuckle to myself sometimes thinking, “am I ever lucky Our Father in Heaven is so loving and patient with me.” He will present me with opportunities to learn and grow as a person. So often it seems I not only don’t learn the lesson, I don’t even see the growth oportunity. With “my” wisdom all I see before me is a problem. Thank goodness it is Our Heavenly Father presenting this lesson plan to me, any human teacher would have given up on me long ago as being unteachable.

Not so with The Father, He loving and patiently waits for us to get it, to learn the particular lesson in life being taught. Being “me”, I have so often in life just put my head down and charged right through. Not learning not even seeing the oportunity to learn and grow. When I don’t learn He patiently sits back and presents me with another situation or circumstance of similiar nature. The cycle begins, Bill blindly charging forward seeing nothing but the problem he needs to rid himself of. Even at times wondering: “why does this sort of stuff keep happening to me”. Finally,maybe out of pure exhaustion I am forced to slow down enough to look around, see the grow, the learning opportunity and actually take advantage of it. “Surprisingly”, when I finally seem to learn that lesson, such situations no longer seem to present themselves to me.

As I muddle my way through life, I pray often. I don’t think there is a right way or a wrong way to pray. By that I mean in the actual words that you use. God not only hears the words that you are saying but also knows what is in your heart. I don’t believe you can “mess up” a prayer with wording, it is what is in your heart that counts more.

I do believe though that we can set ourselves up for what we will see as failure or what we will see as unanswered prayers. Every prayer is answered, we must realize and accept that sometimes the answer is NO. Our Father watches over us in a manner similar in ways to that of the way we all watch over our own children. We hopefully know what is best for our children. There are times when they may ask for something and the best answer is NO, we know it is what is best for them. I don’t know how many times I prayed to win the lottery but obviously it was in my best interest not to do so. One day when I get there I am going to ask Him to explain that one to me. lol.

Hmm, I seem to have been my typical self and rambled on to the point of tiring myself out and need to head for my nap. I still have a lot more to say but will have to maybe continue tomorrow.

To all that have offer up prayers for me and mine. I do thank you so much. Please keep them coming.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Prayers please

July 1, 2009

Yesterday our dear blogging friend Juanita left a very touching message with a special prayer request. Her message:

“I have a favor to ask of everyone who visits your blog: Please say a prayer for my daughter Maxine on 7/1/09, she is having her left kidney removed due to Cancer, we pray that it is the only organ affected.”

I don’t think there can be any pain or anguish greater than that felt by a parent, watching helplessly as a child suffers. Prayers from all please.