I am slowly coming around. I seems I start to feel better then do a backwards slide. Slow and steady always wins out in the race. Raspy breathing, coughing and sneezing fits are gone.
Yesterday was Vi’s pre-op appointment. It is major surgery, a pretty big deal. It is actually 4 procedures all being done at the same time. Two for each leg. Actual surgery is scheduled for Feb. 5th. Prayers please.
This all re-enforces what I have known all along. For me anyway, it is less stressful being the patient than the worried family member. I know I could deal with this a whole lot better If it was happening to me. This helplessly watching from the side lines sucks.
My brother Robin has been coming into the city for various appointments. He has the bad heart thing going on as well. He needs a valve in his heart replaced. Now this valve replacement surgery has become almost routine having been done so often.
Not so in his case. Because of the condition of his heart, Open heart surgery is considered too high risk and will only be done as a last resort. They are looking at a new procedure, less invasive with a lower risk factor. All these tests are to see if he is a viable candidate for this new procedure. I hope so.
As for me, I am doing OK. Our cold weather really affects my breathing. I really need my meditation chair. Need to boost my spirits, get my head screwed on straight
Doctor did a little tinkering with my medications. Time is short let’s make it as comfortable and enjoyable as possible
In my mind it seems to help me understand things a little better when I have a human physical comparable. I got an explanation that gives me a little better view of this heart failure thing of mine. I am sure it doesn’t apply in every situation but it certainly does seem to fit me. It is the right side of my heart that is affected. This is the side that has everything to do with breathing, delivering oxygen enriched blood to the body. When that side of the heart is not working properly. The amount of the oxygen enriched blood delivered is reduced. Physical energy levels reduce accordingly, breathing becomes more laboured. Remember I am not a doctor or any such. I am explaining as I understand things to be.
Here is the comparable. Before this all started you could go for a walk on a nice level surface and maybe even go for miles without becoming winded. For me anyway in the early stages, that same walk changed to physically feeling comparable to taking the walk on a slight incline. Comparable to walking slightly uphill all the way. Do-able but more exertion is required. As the heart failure progresses, it is like the incline you face with each walk increases increases. The steeper the incline the more difficult it is to walk, the more energy it takes. the incline of the hill I am facing has gotten pretty steep.
i have climbed high enough up this mountain, that I could just comfortably settle back, enjoy the view watching with interest as the world passes me by, I am content. But, then I think to myself, man, I am only halve way up. If the view is this good from here, it can only get better the higher I go. I may not be climbing so fast but I have a lot left in me and a ways to go.
Hey, I am starting to feel better
Going through a bit of a rough patch. Doctors appointments all lined up. Family doctor today, heat failure clinic next week followed by the neurologist. They will get me all sorted out
I was a couple of paragraphs into a post when something hit me. I was being hypocritical.
OK, I admit I haven’t been feeling well for the past couple of weeks. It has me feeling down and even a little grumpy. I read something in the paper that just hit me as being ridiculous. Some people are so petty getting upset over the silliest things. Here it is:
Here in Winnipeg we still have mail delivery right to your door, you have to love that. Now here in Winnipeg over this past 2-3 weeks we have been having an exceptional cold spell with temperatures in the -40’s with the wind. Now that is cold, you just can’t stay out in that very long. Vehicles are freezing up, it is a big problem for everyone. No one is going outdoors unless they have to.
That is unless your job forces you out there, such as is the case with our mail carriers. They are still out there walking up each street delivering the mail. With these kind of temperatures you just can’t stay out there, you have to get inside at times just to warm up. Now this being the case in some areas mail delivery is a day or two behind. Understandable, I would think. Not so with others. Some are apparently very upset over the slower delivery service.
now when I read about that it really irked me, even got me a little upset given the circumstances people would get upset over something so trivial. That is the craziest thing I have ever heard of.
Then it hit me. What was even more ridiculous was me allowing myself to be annoyed. Annoyed reading of the reactions of others in this sort of situation. There is a life lesson here somewhere
Spent yesterday morning at the hospital. To change things up, this time Vi was the patient. Her surgery date has been set at Jan. 22nd.
we had thought we would be getting an explanation of exactly what it is they are planning, how they are going to deal with the blockages. Well, we got the date. She went for blood work, EKG and X-ray’s. I guess they wanted up dated info to help finalize their decision. They will be calling to set a pre-op appointment for next week. Then meet with doctors to discuss options, plans etc.
Over Christmas I was on a real emotional high. Hey my whole family was here, how could I not be on cloud 9. I have 2 beautiful daughters that I love so much and am so very proud of. Son-in-laws, I couldn’t ask for better. Well then we get to my grand daughters, each a princess within the realm of my heart. Each so different, three little individuals each just as special in there own way.
It seems anticlimactic or like a big let down or something. That special time is over, precious memories were created. Heart melting moments and memories. I am struggling trying to find a special spot in this memory bank of mine so I can hang on to the memory of each moment. With this memory of mine, I have been known to just lose blocks of time. This is a block of time to precious to ever lose.