Dying Man’s Daily Journal – We can never understand everything

February 18, 2010

I am happy  to say Vi is doing much much better. She saw her doctor yesterday, but he had none of her test results, even those done close to a month ago. He gave her a new medication that hopefully will help her. She does though seem to be back to her normal self.

Hey, my new computer seems to be working fine, yipee. Last evening I was surfing the web, checking out this new computer. Generally I check the more news related sites. I was surprised to read Canadians are taking quite a bashing on different news sites. Well that is on U.S. and British sites. I suppose as those are the only ones I visited it could in fact be the same on others, I don’t know. Actually, I got quite a chuckle out of it. I am a proud Canadian and I guess to some that makes me : “an Ice Hole”, “a Country Bunpkin”, a “wannabe American” plus a bunch of other things that I can’t remember. I can’t help  but chuckle even as I write this. I guess that makes me a Proud Ice Hole”. lol.  It is all over the Olympics. Diffrerent issues were raised but one is the weather and it’s affect on the ski slopes. Now, Us Canadians, we are good but even as good as we are we haven’t figured out how to control the weather. We will have to get on that in the next few days. lol

This all really makes me realize how much I have changed over the years. There was a time when reading comments such as those would have had me just jumping up and down mad. Now I just shake head and chuckle.

I really am trying to get a better understanding of life. My life in particular, how  I see myself, how I see myself relating to the world and how I see the world in general. I suppose I am seeking a greater understanding of what it is all about. I do believe I am making at least some headway in this. I think the greatest  understanding I have reached is that there is just an endless list of things I will never understand. I think the biggest revalation for me was,  I don’t  have to  understand so very many things that go on around me or in the world as a whole. I realize that most often, my confusion or lack of understanding comes from the actions or reactions of other people.

Just realizing and accepting the plain fact that there is so much I will never be able to understand gives me a sense of freedom. Not sure if I am making that clear.

Everyone is making this same journey through life. Some are just on different pathes than the one I have chosen. NO ONE can ever travel exactly the same path as another. Each person being on their own journey will encounter different options, challenges and rewards than I may on my path. That is to be expected, it is a slightly different path, the trip has to be even just slightly different. Huh, I had a point I was leading to here but seem to have lost my train of thought. Not sure what the point was but I bet it was a good on. lol.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Memory sucks

February 16, 2010

I know I have joked aroung a lot about my memory, calling myself memory guy and what not. Most of the time,  well almost all of the time, your memory is of not concern at all. You just blissfully carry on with your day, your life. You just have no idea of what you have forgotten, well because you have forgotten it. Every once in a while though something comes up and you realize just how bad your memory has become. Just such and issue has arrisen, and I extend a big thank you to Andrew over at my good old Royal Bank for his assistance.

Times like this make me sort of take stock of where I am in general with all of this memory stuff. My memory is getting worse there is no  question about that. It is disturbing really when I stop and think about how much worse.

Thank goodness for Vi being here to remind me. I have reached the point where I am forgetting to take my medications. With my heart that is not a good thing, not that it is a good thing at any time. More and more she is having to prompt me,remind me about them. Thank you Vi.

Now anyone that knows me, knows I am to short for my weight. OK, I am carrying a “few” extra pounds. Now for me to say I am forgetting to eat will just cause many to stop and scratch their heads in wonder. Now I have to explain that, it is actually meals I am forgetting. When Vi is not here,  it can be into the evening even say around 9:00pm before I realize I am hungry and have been snacking on what ever is around. Often I realize then I had forgotten to eat “dinner/supper” what ever you wish to call it. Who wants to start cooking at that time, so I snack on. May explain a little about these extra pounds.

An example. In this post I wanted to say thank you to Andrew as I did above. Well I wrote down his name and have it upstairs. I even checked it to be sure before I came to the basement here to type. By the time I had gotten signed on to the computer, I had already forgotten and had to run back to check. Geesh.

Family teases me. If you ever have a secret you are just burning to tell someone. Well tell Bill, he will have forgotten it in a hour or so anyway. I think I may have been told secrets, just can’t remember.

Ah well, not sense worrying about it, not worth the effort.In an hour or so I will have forgotten anyway so what is the point. Now that is the upside to a bad memory

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Proud to be Canadian

February 15, 2010

 I have said it bef0re and I say it again. I am very proud to be a Canadian. I hope and pray everyone is as proud of their own countries as I am of mine.

The Winter Olympics are happening right now and they are right here in Canada. Vancouver, Whistler and surrounding areas. Now Vancouver is virtually straight west of Winnipeg. Sounds handy and it would be except  for the about 25 or 26 hundred kilomiters that separate us. i should google the exact distance, what ever it is, it is a long way.

Now being  Canadian naturally I cheer for the Canadian atheletes. This may sound strange but that at times is actually causing me a bit of a dilema. I find myself cheering for each individual athelete as they take their turn to compete. All  have worked so very very hard to get to the point where they are, competing in one of the highest levels of sporting events or activities there is. How can you not admire and respect all that work and dedication. When it comes down to it, I see an individual standing there ready to compete and I wish everyone my very best, irregardless of the country they may represent.

From everything I have seen or read about these games, I am proud of the Canadian fans in attendance at the games. Yes, we may cheer loudest for our own Canadian atheletes, but we cheer loudly for every athelete. Good job.

I am hoping my computer delema is being straightened out this afternoon. Getting the 3rd. on. This one I am assured will be check out top to bottom before I pick it up. I wish to thank Jennie and those that have emailed me offering to help with my computer issues by contacting the store on my behalf. Now I do thank you for the kind offer but I have never sought anything for myself from the blog and have even turned down gifts and awards when offered. I do not wish any personal gain other than the tremdous support and freindships gained here through the blog.

Earth Angels can appear when least expected and from what you may think would be the most unlikely of sources. Such an Earth Angel has touched our lives. I told her I would be writing about her here on the blog. She specifically asked that I do not mention her as she is a very private person and would prefer to keep it that way. OK, I accept that and understand it, but if you do happen to read this know we thank you.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Vi in hospital

February 12, 2010

Had my morning  sort of planned out. Was going to the retail outlet to do battle if necessary over the *%@# computer we just bought that doesn’t work properly.

Well that plan started to unravel last night. Vi hasn’t been feeling to well the past 3 or 4 days. Severe head ache, light headed with nausea thrown in for good measure. She kept insisting she was fine just a touch of some sort of a bug and would be better by tomorrow. Well tomorrow always seemed to exclusively remain another day in the future.

I wasn’t feeling to spry last evening, light headed and such. Decided to take my blood pressure, perfectly normal. Decided to take Vi’s, not so normal. Took it I think 5 times over about a 2 hour period. It was always in the 180″s over 120’s. My thought was the hospital, she would have nothing to do with that. She can no longer give me the berries about being reluctant to go to the hospital. Again it would be better by tomorrow.

This morning I was up earlier and waiting for her to wake up. Took her blood pressure as soon as she woke up. 169/129. We had a total role reversal, this time it was me taking her by the ear and dragging her out the door to go to the hospital. At this moment she is in the emergency department being tested and treated.

I can understand where she is coming from when she told me to go home. I have indeed been in the situation of being “drugged up” and feeling so  very sleepy. In the just let me sleep mode. If you have company sitting there you feel somewhat obligated to try and chat a little and are reluctant to just peacefully drift off to sleep, which is what at that point you want most of all.

So I came home. Will give her an hour or so and then return.

Prayers please

PS. Happy to report Vi was released from the hospital, is back home sleeping.  Doctors seem to think a migraine headache is the cause of her symptoms. Medication did help with the head ache and all other symptoms have lessened. Blood pressure now down to 146/92.. “Doctor Bill” here is not entirely convinced of this. She sees family doctor on Tuesday.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – I’m still here

February 11, 2010

I haven’t been at the computer as much as normal this past while. Partially due to not feeling so spry but also having computer problems.

Vi took advantage of the after Christmas specials and got us a new computer. The monitor on the old one was shot again. Found out with the specials on it wasn’t all that muich more buying the whole system instead of just the monitor. A good idea you would think.

Got it home, hooked up and good to go. It was excellent most of the time, when it worked that is. It seemed to like to freeze up and kick you out of programs. With me not being at the computer so much it took us a week or so to really realize this. I returned it to the store and they graciously exchanged it for a different on, same make and model exactly. Exactly the same story again.

This time I call the store and am told as we are now past their 2 week exchange date policy. Which Vi was told was 30 days, all I can do is drop it off, they will send it away to have it checked and should have it back in 2 or 3 days. Hmm, I have a head ache am feeling kind of grumpy and this is doing nothing to improve my disposition.

Now as we are dealing with a large national electronics store I will speak to the manager and get this straightened out. Even with the 2 week return policy I am still within 2 weeks of receiving the replacement and only 3 weeks from the original purchase. NO, he was of no assistance at all.

Geesh, now we are taking a big name brand computer here. I’ll phone the manufacturer and get them to fix it or better still replace it with one that actually does work. Some help but not much. Go back to the retail outlet with the computer. If they will not exchange it have them phone the company. My plan for tomorrow morning.

Are you sorry I am back?

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – What goes around

February 5, 2010

Haven’t been feeling all that spry the past few days and haven’t felt much like writing. Want to share another email I received. I have no idea if the story is true or not but that really doesn’t matter. The thought it contains is a message much like I have tried many times to express.

One day a man saw a old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her  Mercedes  and got out. His Pinto was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn’t look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you.

He said, ‘I’m here to help you, ma’am. Why don’t you wait in the car where it’s warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.’

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from  St. Louis  and was only just passing through. She couldn’t thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan  just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped.

Bryan  never thought twice about being paid.
This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.

He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, ‘And think of me..’

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn’t erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered  Bryan  ..

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin.

There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: ‘You don’t owe me anything.. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I’m helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.’

Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the
Money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard….

She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, ‘Everything’s going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.’

There is an old saying……’What goes around comes around.’ Today I sent you this story, and I’m asking you to pass it on. Let this light shine.

Don’t delete it, don’t return it. Simply, pass this on to a friend

Good friends are like stars….You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.

Dying man’s Daily Journal

February 5, 2010

     ‘To get something you never had, you have to do something you never
     did.’  When God takes something from your grasp, He’s not punishing
       you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.
    Concentrate on this sentence… ‘The will of God will never take you
    where the Grace of God will not protect you.’    Something good will
     happen to you today; something that you have been waiting to hear.
             There comes a point in your life when you realize:

                                Who matters,
                               Who never did,
                            Who won’t anymore…
                            And who always will.
                So, don’t worry about people from your past,
          There’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Happy Birthday

February 4, 2010

It i is a big day here it is Violet’s birthday. Happy birthday Vi. Always at least trying to be a gentleman I will not say how many candle there will be on the cake. I will just say there are a “few” more than 29.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – New book

February 2, 2010

Started reading a new book today. It looks very interesting. It is “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.

One part of the inside book cover caught my eye right away:

“Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own realitity, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”