Coming to terms with Vi’s upcoming surgery and Shauna’s health. Vi’s surgery is actually elective. It is to correct an issue many ladies I am told face as they mature, if they have had babies. She doesn’t seem overly concerned so neither will I. Now as for Shauna it is about time they are doing something for her. She has been having terrible headaches for a couple of years now, even being hospitalized several times for them. Prayers are always so appreciated.
The past week has been rather hectic, more so for Vi than for me. Through out last week we had Renee and Riley as house guests. Renee, being the wife of our dear friend Grant, who had suffered a heart attack. I am happy to say Grant on Friday was well enough to be flown back to their home town of The Pas, to the hospital there. Renee and Riley also left Friday morning.
Saturday morning we truly were blessed to have a visit from Darrin and Janice, friends from Thompson. I am so grateful they took the time to stop in for a visit. They were passing through town, back to Thompson from what sounds to be a wonderful vacation.
Vi’s daughter Lynelle flew in from Thompson on Saturday afternoon. Actually, it is a conversation I had with Lynelle, on Sunday afternoon, that really has me thinking today. Vi was having a nap, so it was just Lynelle and myself at the kitchen table talking. It was very nice.
On Saturday night the ladies Vi and Lynelle had gone to a party at a friends house and had a great time and for that I am so glad. Their evening out was included as a part of our conversation.
I have a situation that I am just not sure how to deal with. Lynelle related a conversation she had with Vi at some point. Vi feels guilty when she goes out and leaves me alone, the what ifs come into her mind. When she comes home she is worried or nervous about entering the house. Afraid I may have had another heart attack and she may find me sprawled on the kitchen floor or something. I am just not sure how I can put her mind or those of my family more at ease about this.
Maybe there just is no way, I don’t know, I would appreciate suggestions. OK, the reality of the matter is, it could be today, but it also could be tomorrow, or next week or even next year, there just is no way of telling when dealing with the heart. Personally, my “target” is for years down the line.
I guess my point is we just can’t sit back and put our lives on hold or in limbo, just waiting. We all have lives and need to LIVE them each day to the fullest. I must live my life to the fullest, but at the same time I must encourage all others to do the same. THAT INCLUDES YOU ALL, MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, EVERYONE.
How unfair, unkind or even unloving, would it be for me to suddenly expect everyone to put their own lives on hold for me, because I am sick. I realize each of my loved ones are going through this whole process with me, whether they are physically at my side or not. Because I do love them all so much I want to make this whole affair as easy on them as possible. Don’t deprive yourself of living life, of having happiness and joy, live life do things you know will be fun. I have never expected anyones life to revolve around me, why should I start to expect that now.
There are days, I know, it is hard not to feel down or start the slide into a pity party, been there, done that. How unloving would it be of me to drag those I love, down there with me.
I have thought to myself, when my time does come, how do I want to leave things. Do I want my loved ones last memories of me to be of a whining, crying, nasty old goat????NO NO NO.
To all the families that are facing the loss of a loved one. Please spend some extra time, show your love and support for your loved one. BUT, please don’t put your entire live on hold. The circumstances you are facing are just as hard on you, if not even harder than on the actual patient. Take care of yourself and do some of the things you need to do for you.
As to the patients, I speak to you as someone that actually is in your shoes, I understand what it is like. It sucks and is a position none of us want to be in. We can accept we have a limited number of days left and try to enjoy each on, or we can choose to be miserable. Not enjoy our last days and not allow anyone else around us to share and enjoy loving times and have happy memories. Either way it doesn’t change the ultimate outcome of all of this. It only effects the love and joy we experience or don’t experience in our last days.
It is a struggle, but I have made my choice