I suppose it is natural that with my various health conditions, my thoughts may turn to thoughts of dying, possibly a little more often than would the thoughts of most others.
Somehow it almost seems the thought of dying or ceasing to exist in this physical world are almost beyond comprehension. When I refer to ceasing to exist I am talking only of the physical most definitately not the spiritual. As I ramble here I am talking only of the physical being.
I am not sure, is it that the thought of dying is almost like an abstract thought of something far, far in the future. It is that far, far in the future thought that is the tricky bit. Reality is that none of us know how much or how long of a future we have on this physical world. Anyone’s “future” being time on this earth could be only a matter of minutes. How are we to know? Well there is no way we can know, it is just a fact of nature we must accept, that applies to every single person. I think that is the one and only thing every single person has in common. Our time will come and we will pass from this world. There is no question there, the only question is the when.
As I sit here at the computer today. I can say, I believe I have come to terms with things to the point I do not fear dying. By that I mean I am comfortable with what I believe awaits in the afterlife. Now having said that, I must admit I do have fear of the dying process. The physical transitions from this life form to the next. I suppose it is the transition stage I fear and dread the very thought of. Spiritual beliefs give a guide or understanding of the afterlife. We are all familiar with the physical life as we are living it. That leaves the transition period, the time of passing from one world to the next as a blank in my mind. The big unknown time period.
I have never been present to witness a “death”, the passing from one world to the other. As is everyone in this world unique, so would I imagine is their passing, but I don’t know.
I am not unique in any way so I can only imagine that as these thoughts plague me, so must they for many others.
I am making a personal direct appeal to any and all that may read this, both for myself and for the many that would benefit and be comforted by the sharing of any stories you may have. I am looking for loving inspirational stories you may wish to share about the passing of a loved one. Possibly the days leading up to the passing and of the actually physical event as seen through your eyes.
Sharing such memories, I know will benefit me and I am sure many others. Please, share with me.
Dying mans daily journal 
venus00 Says:
October 22, 2008 at 7:31 pm
The first time I heard about “the light” after death was from my grandmother. She was my soulmate and when I was about 9 years old she had a massive stroke and died on the table but was revived. In my childhood innocence I asked her when she came home what it was like to die. She thought about it for a minute and then a wonderful warm smile flooded her face. She leaned over to me, like she was telling me a great secret. She said she hadn’t told anyone but she would tell me (it was taboo to talk about death 40 years ago.) She told me saw herself leave her body and that she was drawn to a bright light. I asked her if she was scared and she assured me that there was no fear only a complete feeling of peace. She described to me seeing a field of green. I remember her trying to describe how vivid the colors were but not quite being able to describe it. She told me that my great-grandfather, her father, was there calling her by her childhood nickname. She teared up telling me about him because he was to her as she was to me. My grandmother had her leg amputated when she was at teenager, but she told me she could run! And she ran into her fathers arms. I don’t quite remember much after that and perhaps it was because she didn’t remember much after that, but it had a profound effect on me. This was the person who I respected, trusted and loved more than anyone in the world and she was telling me that she wasn’t scared of death and if there was any uncomfortably in the process she didn’t remember it.
I was with my ex-mother in law when she passed on. It was a very gentle process. She was barely strong enough to squeeze our hands but took one final breath and I swear you could literally see her spirit leave her. She didn’t look frightened or in pain. The process appeared to be very peaceful and very natural. It was heartbreaking because we immediately knew she was gone, but it was not horrific in any way to watch. In fact I would say we were blessed and comforted by actually seeing the process.
Sorry for the long reply but two instances instantly came to mind when you posed the question. The few experiences I’ve had with people who have passed have been comforting ones. I agree the unknown is very frightening or at least unsettling, I guess that is where faith comes in. I too believe in a loving God and I trust that he will bring me home to him in a gentle, wondrous, loving way.
Venus, my friend I thank you so much for sharing both of these wonderful stories. I am sure just reading them will be a comfort and a blessing to many, myself included. I thank you.
Bill
Bill
In my time as a HCA and a student nurse I’ve been with many people when they’ve died. I have to say that it’s always been a very gentle, peaceful, gradual process especially when it’s the final stage of a prolonged illness. I have never witnessed any fear in someone’s eyes during those final moments. It is a priviledge to have ‘accompanied’ so many people as they leave this place and move on to the next. Before this experience I too would have been like you – a little wary shall we say of the actual process but now, well – it’s just a gentle slide from this world to the next. As Venus says it’s actually quite comforting to see someone die and realise that it’s so very natural.
My mother too had a ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ experience as a young girl after a serious car crash left her with a fractured skull. She says there was nothing but a sense of peace and anticipation.
I hope this helps my lovely xx.
Sharon xx
Hi Sharon, I thank you so much for sharing this. I really like the way you worded it, “a gentle slide from one world to the next” those are words I am sure will comfort many.
Thanks again
Bill
I haven’t seen anyone pass yet, I saw both my grandparents from my dad’s side unconcious laying on a bed. My grandad was unresponsive but my grandma reacted to certain things we spoke about when we were in the room, like coffee. 🙂 My cousin was the one to see her pass and I never got the nerve to ask her how it went. But I remember my maternal grandfather after a really bad accident he had and he telling us about how he died and then came back to life.
He was walking on the side of the road to go to a little store and car hit him sending flying over 30 feet and landing who knows where. The next thing he said was that he suddenly heard a very soft music and little by little he opened his eyes and a place came to focus. A valley filled with yellow tiny flowers. It was peaceful, a gently glow of the sun on him and a soft breeze. He started to look around the vast ground and all he could see was this beautiful scenery. Then all the sudden he started hearing all the machines, voices and felt the cold from the room he was in the emergency room. He was back. He got to live a long time after that. I’ll never forget his face as he told us that story, he wanted to stay there. He never mentioned if the hit that broke so many things in his body hurt him at all. I guess that with the joy of being on the other side he didn’t even remembered it.
Clary, this is such a beautiful story. You grandfather is a very lucky man, both to be alive today, but to have actually seen the other side. I thank you so much for sharing.
Bill
As a hospice volunteer, I have been with a few of my “folks” when they passed. They have all been very happy. calm.and several seemed to be “thrilled”with what they were experiencing. One of the most surprising was a young man who had lived a very “wild-try everything once and some drugs more than once” type of life. We were sitting there talking quietly and he said ” OK, you can turn off that beautiful music now( the room was quiet – to me), and I think I may take a little nap. ” He smiled at me ( not the smiling type at all!!!) and was gone. I have never seen any fear at all . One lady said “thank you- that took away the pain”. That was really remarkable as we had had a time getting the pain meds high enough to really let her rest. Hope that helps my friend!!! Cathe
Two beautiful and comforting stories, I do thank you for sharing.
Bill
I was with my Uncle when he died. He had cancer and had been in the hospital for over a month. We had gone home the day before and he was getting better. My cousin called us to ask us to come back down. We had been there for maybe 30 mins and he was gone. It was very peaceful. He started crying(I say crying but really just had tears coming down his face no sobbing) , took two more breaths and that was it.
I thank you so much for sharing this so personal story.
Bill
Dear Bill
I continue to wish you all the best as the days go by. I don’t comment that much here, because sometimes I’m not sure whether you can bear to confront the end of life so directly, but realistically and deep down I know that such stories hold no fears for you.
As it happens, my story is exactly poised at the moment of death right now. Peaceful, all tucked up at home in bed and surrounded by those she loved and who loved her too – that seemed to me to be as good as one could wish for.
Is my tale inspiring? I don’t know, but at least I hope it’s honest.
All warm wishes reaching out to you, across the wide Atlantic from London.
Hi Roads, it is nice to hear from you, it has been a while. I don’t believe I really fear what is to come, dread is a better word. I hope I may be explained that in my post today. Anything you would care to share, I will appreciate receiving and reading.
Bill
Dear Bill,
I have read you for a long time, but never had anything to offer you that I thought was helpful until now.
When I was fifteen I was playing basketball and pivoted, hit another girls head with mine, and she was also mid pivot. She had a concussion…I had my nose shattered all over my face. Long story short…I am allergic to demoral and went into shock after they gave it to me at the hospital. I remember it being very, very cold as I was going into shock…but then I just lifted out of my body. As the nurses and residents ran in, I saw them from up above the bed. My perspective was COMPLETELY changed. I would say that whole “different dimension” thing could be true. I was not scared, but I also never quit watching and hovering over my body. After I saw the bright white light and was hanging out in a corner…up above the door to be exact… the whole room was illuminated with the light. But not a squinty kind of bright…just shining, peaceful, warm and luminating. It does seem like the light behind my body (which I do believe was the path to heaven) dimmed as I lingered there, and turned a bright, then pale golden yellow…but I can’t be sure because I was focused on my body and what they were doing to me. Then suddenly…I was back from my lofty place and inside my body…and very cold again. And pretty hacked off that I was there quite frankly, even though I obviously wasn’t ready to leave. I never saw a loved one, but I don’t think I made it far enough down the “bright path” and I hadn’t had any really relevant deaths in my life at that point either.
I found it intriguing and inspiring…and quite exciting. I had filed the memory away until I was much older and heard others speak of the same “type” of experience. One thing for sure…I was not afraid.
Safe Journeys and Godspeed,
Lisa Tanner, MSW
Calgary, AB
Richmond, TX
Hi Lisa, this is an amazing story, I do thank you so much for sharing it. I do believe in the other dimension and you either temporarily crossed over into it or at least were “straddling” the door step teetering into it. You experienced it you “know” there is something beyond.
This may sound strange like a conflicting message but, firstly I am sorry for all the physical pain you went through and do hope all is back to being fine. But, somehow deep inside of me I can’t seem to help but feel happy for you, for the experience you had and of how it has to have changed you perspective on life. I would love to hear more.
Bill
I wasn’t thinking Bill, my Grandfather had already passed on…but he wouldn’t have been very happy to see me there yet I don’t think. Also a childhood friend, but I always annoyed her, so I understand why she didn’t show up. 🙂
I can only imagine but I do imagine they didn’t show up, knowing it just wasn’t your time.
Dear Bill,
For the three nights of my Grandfathers ~transition~ recently l felt to sit with a beautiful rose quartz crystal l had been given and to send him healing love and prayer…
I had been into hospital to say Goodbye and let him know that l loved him…
My family felt that he was having a hard time letting go, as he has always been such a strong willed man… Sick and close to death many times but never ‘ready’ to make THAT decision…
He once told me that during the war as a soldier he had watched healthy men lay down and die, he told me that he knew that to die was to ‘let go’… that it was a decision a man would one day make…
And so on the third night l held my crystal and asked a loving God to help him pass painlessly… and in my minds eye l saw him surrounded by his family already passed and in spirit and then l saw him smile and allow himself to be lifted from his earthly body into spirit… I heard him whisper “Oh l thought it would hurt” and smile…
10-15 minutes later my sister rang me to tell me that my Beloved Pa had passed…
It was a most beautiful experience and l stayed on a beautiful loving high for days from it… l was so happy that he did not suffer…
I believe that we are given times and choices about our lives, l believe we are given this life to learn as much as we can about ~Love~
My Grandfather embodied love and lived a long and beautiful life…
I believe that we all need a ‘reason’ to live, a purpose in our hearts that runs deep to our spirit and that we are meant to live each moment as ‘fully’ as we can… I believe our trials are sent to us as vehicles to this end…
The cancer l now journey with is teaching me how to reach deeper into ~Love~
and so l hear but do not ~listen~ to what the doctors say, because this life l lead is mine and when my ~time~ comes it will be because my journey is fufilled not the doctors…
I once had a ~dream~
That l visited “The Light” and this light filled me with such beauty and peace that l would have left this earthly life and everything that l hold dear …to step into it
Unimaginable for me and yet there was such peace there, such ~love~
I believe perhaps l was given this glimpse to let me know to be unafraid as much as my mortal bones quiver at the thought, my ~soul~ was in recognition of the ~truth~
That ~death is birth~
and that ~Love is all there is~
Kindest Regards,
Vicki x
Hi Vicki, this is a wonder memory you have shared with us. I am sure you helped your grandfather pass over peacefully with your prayers.
Your grandfather sounds like such a wonderful man, he showed how life was really to be lived, love is the answer.
My thoughts and prayers go to you as you fight your own battle with cancer. I visited your site but was unable to leave a comment and have instead sent you an email. The dream you spoke of was beautiful, I am sure and is a sight of what awaits us all.
I thank you for sharing and hope to hear from you again
Bill
Bill, I don’t have what you would call an “inspiring” death story but I decided to share it with you anyway in case it might help.
The only person I have seen die was my father. He died from a heart attack. He had at least three, and probably more, heart attacks before the final one.
He was on the telephone in the kitchen one morning, and my mom was in the adjoining dining room. Mom heard something bang against the wall and went in the kitchen to see the telephone receiver dangling from it’s cord and my dad slumped in his chair. She yelled to me and my siblings for help. My brother did CPR while someone else called for an ambulance, but it was too late.
I think he was gone in an instant. It was so quick that he was in mid-conversation with someone when he died, or at least he lost consciousness quickly. If he experienced any pain, it must have been brief.
I guess one inspiring thing I could say would be that he had just had just spent the weekend with all of his children. My two oldest sibs were adults and lived 500 miles away and we hadn’t seen them in about six months. I remember my father speaking in our Sunday school the day before he died and saying how blessed he was to have his whole family with him and what a lucky man he was.
We were blessed to have him too. We knew he loved us.
Hi Jennie as with all I am sorry to hear of the loss of your father. I am so glad all got to have what turned out to be a final visit, that in itself was a blessing to all. Your father sounds like he was a good man, you were lucky to have him as he was lucky to have you.
Bill
I have my own story to share. My mother relayed this story to me years ago. I shared this already in a post way back some time, but now seems a good time to put it up again.
My mother had an out of body experience which left her with no doubt about, life after death. It was in 1957, my youngest brother Eric was being born. His body some how wasn’t positioned correctly in the womb and he was trying to come out bum first. Now, remember this was 1957 and in a small northern rural community. I am sure the hospital there likely didn’t even have the most up to date equipment for that time. Today, this would be not big deal but then it was very serious.
I just wish I have taped or written down her exact words.
It was a very difficult delivery, tremendous pain, great loss of blood. With the pain and loss of blood she was lapsing in and out of consciousness. At some point her heart even stopped. The doctors, guided by the loving hand of God, were able to save her and complete the delivery. THANK YOU FATHER.
My mother’s memory of the time. Hours of unbelievable pain. Suddenly, the pain was gone. She felt just a deep feeling of serenity and calm. She remember, looking down and seeing what she described as a poor woman in very obvious distress, a lot of blood and a doctor and nurses frantically working. It took a few moments for her to realize she was looking down at herself and then even wondered why she wasn’t feeling the pain, just the wonderful serenity. At some point she realized she was like, floating up close to the ceiling of the operating room. The ceilings were quite high and a few inches from the ceiling an ornamental molding had been installed. She remembers looking down from above this high molding and being upset that it was so dusty on the top, and there was even a thumb tack sitting on the molding in the corner.
The next she remember was being back on the table and a nurse telling her it was all over. She had a healthy baby boy, but had lost a lot of blood and needed rest. Several hours later she woke still in the same room, being awoken by the nurses moving her from the table to a stretcher to be moved to her room.
One of the advantages of living in a small town is everyone knows everyone. One of the nurses was a close friend, to whom she told of her of how she had been floating up by the ceiling at some point during the delivery. The nurses just sort of put her off saying it wasn’t uncommon for patients to have wild dream, a combination of medications and loss or blood. Any one that Knew my mother knows she is not going to just be put off that easily. She really insisted her friend the nurse get a ladder and check it out. Luckily, it was not a busy day and likely, more to just humor this lady that had just gone through so much. The nurse went and got a ladder.
The molding was so high up that from no where in the room could you see what was on top of the molding. Everyone, except my mother was shocked to find the dust and even the thumb tack exactly where she said it was.
Hi again Bill, Since you asked…I’ll share with you WHY I was so worried about what going on back with my body as I was shocking… As the residents or interns had decided to see about my pain as I came in they also decided I wasn’t bad looking. So instead of putting the needle in my IV for the demoral they pulled down my gym shorts and gave it to me there. When they got me stablized after all of the “almost dying” thing the head nurse came in and said, where did they give you that shot? and I pointed to my backside and she told me they had done it on purpose to see…well…my backside. Maybe my Grandpa was up there looking for something to throw at those docs.
Bless you Sir.
Lisa
Hi again Lisa, I am not quite sure what to say about this. I am sure your Grandpa was looking for something to throw at those docs. I am glad things worked out. Thank you for sharing again.
Bill
Hi Bill
It’s Kat again.Remember I wrote to you about my sister dying and the guilt I felt about not going to see her. Well her days of suffering are over as she passed away last night very peacefully.
Having watched both my father and mother die of cancer I now had to watch as my sister also died of cancer – such a cruel illness!!!
I just want to re-iterate to anyone out there reading this, life is precious and can be short – too short in many cases. At least the last words both my sister and I said to each other was “I love you” – the first time in our lives that these words had been said to each other.
I just want to say to anyone who is reading this, take the time and tell that special person that you love them because you do not know if that is going to be the last words that pass between you.
To you Bill, my thoughts are with you. I hope that you stay strong and continue to provide this blog. I found it very comforting to me knowing that there were people out there who were feeling the same as I did.
God loves you all, remember that your loved one can no longer feel the pain and is now in a better place. xxxx
Hi Kat, I am so sorry to hear that your sister has passed and to hear of the pain both of you went through. I am glad you got to say your goodbyes and exchange the “I love you words”, I am sure that means a lot to you as it did for your sister.
Your message is so sad, yet inspirational at the same time. The message you have given to all of us is a blessing. Life is precious, never take it or anyone in our lives for granted.
I have tried to send you a couple of personal emails but they won’t go through, so please just know you are in my heart, thoughts and prayers.
Bill
Hi my name is Jason and I am 32 years old.
I have wittnesed 2 deaths, my mother in 2003 from cancer and my best friend mother this year. My mother the last 2 days were very peaceful,she was reaching up for something and mumbling. My brother is not a religious person really but he told me that he thought there were 2 angels in the room. My mother was smiling alot.
My best friend’s mother died of brain cancer the last week she was smiling and people were asking her what she was seeing and hearing and she also was mumbling and she nodded her head when people would ask her if she heard pretty music.
Peace be with you,
God bless you my friend
Spirits… from the blogs of me…
So I guess today my Mom talked to people all day long. Full conversations with people that weren’t really there and at one point was completing some kind of personal questionnaire with yes and no answers. Are these spirits she is talking to or just imaginations from the past? I hope they are both to tell you the truth and as long as they are being nice to her, they can stay. Some of the conversations are serious and some are rather silly and make no sense. I’m glad that my family has a sense of humor…sometimes I wonder if some of the silly stuff she is saying is stuff she is saying on purpose, though I doubt she has the capacity to try to be funny right now.
Today her heart rate reached 115, we had her defibillator turned off (didn’t realize it was still on and thankfully it hasn’t shocked her), and she is having a hard time breathing. I didn’t go there yesterday due to sickness, so when I got there today she looked so different. Smaller somehow, as Mary says, not really physically smaller, though she might be since she doesn’t eat, but smaller. Like she is closing in on herself and preparing to go. Also, she doesn’t have as much pain, her nervous system is shutting down now. The physical signs are there that she will be gone soon. But, she has tricked us before…who knows maybe she will be here for Christmas…however, to be truthful, I hope she doesn’t have to be, if its better for her to go sooner I hope she does, in her sleep with no pain and a smile on her face remembering holding her babies and my Dad’s arm wrapped around her, standing in the sun, on the green green grass, while a white bird flies overhead.
I thank you for sharing your story in such a painful time. Your mother, you and family are in my prayers.
I am sure your mother is talking to both previously passed loved ones and Angels there to take her home. I am so glad she is not suffering physical pain. When the time is right I pray and know she will have a peaceful passing.
From the way you describe it, it sounds like she has already reached a better place and is preparing to go home, accompanied by many there to greet and welcome her.
This is such a painful time for you and yours, it is much more difficult for those left behind.
If you ever feel the need to chat or vent what ever I am always here via the blog or I could contact you directly by email if you would prefer.
You are in my heart thoughts and prayers.
Bill
When my mum was admitted to hospital for the last time, I was told that she would live for 2-3 weeks – her birthday was only 4 days away, and the doctor said that they would help to mark the occasion with a little ‘gathering’ on the ward. However, that night I was in bed, my eyes closed, but not asleep, when I felt the air above me sort of vibrate, in rippling waves. I didn’t open my eyes, but I said, “If you want to go now, go, and I’ll be alright”. I didn’t cry, but I then slept peacefully. The hospital ‘phoned later to tell me that my mum had died. I had spent two years caring for my mum, and trying to find a solution for her health problem, but that night, I let go. I have recently come across a quote from “Fruit gathering” by Rabindranath Tagore, ” Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not look for allies in life’s battlefield but to my own strength” – I will always think of these words.
When my father passed away a few years ago I was devestated, my dad was my whole world. When I lost him, I felt like I would never be able to go on, but through my friends and family, I have moved on.
There isn’t a day I don’t think about my dad at least once, especially now that I am homeless. But I know without a doubt that he is up above keeping me safe from all harm.
You will do the same for the ones that you love and care about. Take care my friend. 🙂
Dear Bill,
I have not read your story, just what I have found on this page so far. I am printing this all for my mom who has terminal colon cancer. She is 60 years old and knows she is going to heaven soon. She needs to hear stories just as you do. I hope you don’t mind me sharing these with her. I want to share your story with her also. I see the last comment on this page is 2009 as I start. It is now September 2010.♥ You are very brave and strong just as she is, Bill. Thank you and to everyone who is sharing these wonderful stories. Ny name is Wendy and my mom , Nancy. I hope you are well. I do not have a story to tell myself. This is my first.
This blog makes my heart at ease.. thank you for sharing experiences… at my age of 17 I am now un-afraid to bite the dust… as one of our friends here mentioned.. “It is just a gentle slide to one world to another…” I am crying right now knowing that I will one day leave earth and the rest will only be eternity… But hey… That’s where we really begin right? I hope this blog never closes down… This could be used to make others see the big picture about death…
I think this is a wonderful site. I have to ask this though after reading about all these experiences. I have never experienced a close call, but, I did have a strange dream. I dreamed my father whom passed 12 years ago was alive in my dream. He was younger though. Anyways, he came up to me in a hurry and said “I have to pack, I have to leave go get Margie and bring her home”….(Margie was his one true love from years ago)..Anyways, after waking up around 7am from that dream I called my brother and told him about it. Later that morning around 11am my brother called me back and was frantic in telling me that Margie had died that morning. I still get scared when I think of what I dreamed earlier that am. Am I a freak?
Hi Jean, thank you for stopping by and leaving your very personal and so interesting message. In a single word!!! NO, you are not a freak. When I hear of such things words like gifted or blessed come to mind. I have more to say but am pushed for time right now. I will be back tomorrow with more. Hope to hear more from you.
Bill
Hi, Bill!
My name is Irene Kendig, and I’m the author of Conversations with Jerry and Other People I Thought Were Dead: Seven compelling dialogues that will transform the way you think about dying . . . and living. It’s won three national awards and it’s a great read. If you’ll send me your address, I’d be happy to send you a copy.
Hi Irene and I thank you
I have three things I can share which may, or may not help.
First thing: my Mum used to go to a reflexologist (foot massager) who was also a faith healer. She was in hospital having an operation and the hospital was run by nuns. She was having a major, but fairly routine, op and while she was out had a dream. She saw herself lying in bed and followed a bright light. She went own a long corridor and at the end was a wrought iron gate into a garden. She wanted to go through it but then felt herself being dragged backwards down the tunnel of light again. When she came round, she told one of the nursing nuns about her dream.
They had a Eucharist every Sunday for patients in the Hospital Chapel and before her op she’d asked to go. However, she was in a private room and on Sunday when the sisters came to collect everyone on the ward they left her. She pressed the bell because she’d need help getting out of bed. The sisters came and she explained that she wanted to go to church.
“Oh no,” said the sister, “you can’t go with them, you’re special, you’re coming with us,” and with that she explained that my Mum’s friend had died on the operating table and been dead for some minutes and that when she’d explained about her out of body, they’d realised she’d been to the gates of heaven (for want of a better word) and back. With that they took her to the chapel in the nunnery for their own service. She said it was very moving and not something she’ll forget.
Second one: I was pregnant a while ago. I was only aware of the little one for a couple of days. The first when I had some kind of out of body while I was on the phone. Suddenly I was seeing the world from inside myself and hearing my own voice as if underwater, I was happy and content, I knew that I was a girl and I was waiting. I went and did a pregnancy test and confirmed I was pregnant. Two days later the baby died. I was sitting down at the time and I am convinced I felt its soul leave me. OK, this is going to sound a bit loopy but if anyone’s ever held a butterfly in their cupped hands, imagine the feeling of its wings flapping against your fingers but inside you, coming from your womb (or where your womb would be fellows) up through your body and out through the top of your head. That’s what I felt. A few days later I had a miscarriage.
A year later, when I successfully got pregnant with my boy, about ten days after McOther the point when I was pretty sure we’d er hem, made him. I had the same feeling in reverse, butterfly wings from the top of my head through my body and into my womb. So I said “hello”.
Third one: I had a dream in which I met my grandfather. It was brilliant because I hadn’t seen him for ages and it was so vivid and real, there was so much about him that I’d forgotten, the exact tone of his voice, stuff like that.
He said he would like to ‘go on’ and asked if I’d be OK. I got the impression I was going to have some rough times, that maybe we all were as a family. I told him that it was alright and that we’d be fine. I woke feeling really happy, because I hadn’t seen him since I was 16 and it was so real that it felt as if I had actually been there in reality.
We did, indeed, have some tough times after that and at one point, I told my Mum about the dream. She told me that she’d had it too and she’d also told him to go on and that we’d be fine. I’m convinced there is something afterwards and that somehow, he came back from there. But I also think there may be somewhere we can ‘go on’ to another stage.
Again and again, I hear accounts of how peaceful the process is. How friends and relatives gather round, a friend of mine who lost a baby and nearly died saw her father, she also had an out of body experience when she had a hip operation a bit later.
When it comes to the actual event, I’m afraid the only death I’ve been present at is when we had to put our cat to sleep but certainly, his death was incredibly peaceful, despite the fact I was distraught. And the difference between his body with him in it and after he had gone was enough to convince me he had a soul which had departed.
There’s that bit in Mr God This is Anna, isn’t there, where she says dying is a bit like being turned inside out.
Sorry, this probably sounds completely barking, all of it but I’m happy to look like a numpkin if it helps anyone out there.
Take care.
Lots of love
MTM