I am back and feeling better both mentally and emotionally. In my last few posts I wrote about my struggles with depression. I admit when I first wrote of it I was feeling a little nervous or embarrassed about revealing it. There is such negative stigma attached to this, which I feel is ridiculous But still understand it.
it was my hope that by sharing my experience it may encourage others to face their own situations and seek help if needed. Life is to be lived, not endured and I am willing to do everything I can to help me do this. Hey, I already take 29 pills a day, so what is one more. Especially if it can truly help me live and enjoy life.
The big day is finally almost here. Thursday I go for the heart procedure. I am a little nervous but more excited. Let’s just get this over and done with. I hate having something like this hanging over my head, let’s do it and get it done. I have prayed about it placing myself in God’s hands. What better place could I be. There is nothing I can do to affect the out come. It will be what it will be.
Dying mans daily journal 
Praying for you, especially Thursday!
Thank you, prayers are always appreciated
Bill
I’m glad things seem to be working themselves out with time and acceptance. And I’m truly glad to hear that it’s come time for the heart procedure. I also have to admit–there’s fear there. I know, I know, “trust G-d’s plan”. *sigh* It’s tough being human, having feelings and caring about another living soul. (Was a time I didn’t, truth be told.) I want to be in charge of the end results, here. I want good things. I want the procedure to be successful, for you to find a degree of physical comfortableness that’s eluded you for so long. I want what *I* want. It’s bourne out of selfishness, I know that. I know that and I don’t care. LOL
You’ve been in my life for a long time, and you’ve changed me (without my permission, I might add). And because of your presence, others have benefited, greatly. It’s that ripple affect you talk about again and again. You, this place, the people that return here, those who’ve gone home to G-d and knew this as a safe place for them to say and just BE where they were….we’ve all known your love for a long time (thank you G-d!)–the center of all that, the one constant….has been you. Sometimes I think you don’t GET how huge HERE and YOU have been to all of us. Still ARE to all of this.
I’ve said this a number of times before to you.
I don’t mind repeating it– YOU, HERE….matters to this one. It has for some time. You eeked your way into my heart and stayed there. And you’ll continue to stay there….no matter what.
I love ya, Bill. You and yours have become a piece of me. You travel with me, day in, day out.
I just wanted to make sure you know that.
Cuz…matters to me…
((((((( Bill )))))) I’ve never stopped praying for you.
You have my better angel. I sent her to you long ago.
She’ll continue to take very, very good care of you….it’s what she does. 🙂
Ah Mel, my dear friend. Firstly all the loving thoughts and feelings are echoed right back to you. You have here with me since almost the beginning of the blog. Your friendship, loving support and guidance has helped more than you can know. I thank you with all of my heart.
We have never met and I am sure never will. Yet, a bond has developed between us stronger than I could have imagined. I am so grateful you stumbled on my blog those years back and have patiently put up with my sometimes almost endless rambles.
I am always so humbled when I hear from you and many others that I have positively impacted their lives. This is so gratifying to hear but you are right I don’t get it or understand how. I am certainly no one special, just a guy that sits at the computer and writes what ever is in my head at the moment, no prep work no editing, nothing. I type and up it goes.
I just try to write from the heart. Just lay it out there as it is. With this I do have a strong hope to help someone/anyone.
Mel, I do have my head on straight and am prepared for what ever Thursday brings.
I am in God’s hands, I pray His will be done. I do admit there is this human side of me that God’s will and my will may be the same. Fingers crossed. Lol
All the best Bill will be thinking of you from across the pond x
Thank you Mark
All the best for Thursday Bill, that’s two across the pond who’ll be thinking of you.
Cheers
MTM
Thank you my friend
May the procedure go well and result in you feeling much better! Cheers.
Thank you so much