So very often I hear or read something that hits home with me. I jot down a little note. Sometime later I come across that note. The message has just as much meaning it is just I can’t remember where I got it from. I often post it without due credit being given. This time is a little different. I got this from a TV show and can give that much credit. Actual writers sorry don’t know.
Blue Bloods is one of my favourite shows. It is a cop show but has the added twist of showing strong family values. That I appreciate most of all.
Memory guy here, I can’t remember the exact story line leading up to the quote that hit me.
I think it was that one of the family members was feeling down or guilty over something that had been done or not done. The character was confiding father figure in the family (Tom Selleck). I can’t remember so I am sort of paraphrasing the first part. “Well what has been done has been done. We can’t change that. The important question is WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO NEXT?”
The more I thought about those words, what are you going to do next? I realized for me anyway they contained an important life lesson. What are you going to do next?
I have to wonder how many people can honestly say the are 100% satisfied with there lives as they, 100 satisfied or at peace with all past action. Are we stewing, fretting or feeling guilty. The longer we carry these burdens the heavier they get. So I ask, what are you going to do next
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Who am I?
I am a 61 year old male. At the age of 52 I was told by my doctor I am dying. For the past 4 years, I have done my best to deal with both congestive heart failure and a brain tumor, while knowing my days are indeed numbered. It is my hope that by sharing my experiences, I can encourage others faced with the same situation. I hope to also help the families of those individuals to have an understanding of the process and deal with the fear or dread of being around the dying. I am not a doctor, not a man of the clergy, I am not a therapist. I am just me, Bill Howdle, I am merely sharing my thoughts and ideas. I write of death and dying, understand this is my personal prospective, based on what I am encountering.Blog Stats
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Dying mans daily journal 
Thank you Bill for sorting out my family problems.What are you going to do really made me “ACT”I have been wanting to sort this out for quite sometime now,but couldn,t seem to find the words or for to get the time being together to sort it….Thanks Bill for making me take that “STEP” Because I feel now that we all will be able to move on.I,ve still to receive a reaction to my e mail which I just printed after reading your blog…But I just know that through you that it is going to work.I,ve not been able to comment in past blogs as I couldn,t seem to to be able too.But doing this now and speaking to you tells me that it,s going to be alright.
Thank you Bill for all your knowledge and strength through which must be a very trying time for you and all your family.
Please know that through “YOU”….you are helping a lot of people out here…
XXXXXXXXX
hi Elaine and welcome. Sorry it has taken a a couple of days to respond. I hope and pray things work out as you hope. Will try to reply further tomorrow
Bill
Wow….now there’s another example of “starfish”….mattered to that one, too!!
I gotta say that I love your timing. LOL. It’s a good question to ask. And I’m taking action and living in the answer to the question. It’s true, for me, that the longer I’m in remission, the closer I am to losing it and not being able to get it back. And the longer that happens, the more I fail to “do” to REALLY live life. I get involved in work, I lose track of time and put things off….and the less involved I become in my relationship with My Maker. It’s good that I’m setting time for He and I to talk today…..cuz you’re right….what I’m doing NOW matters more than bemoaning how I got here.
I’ve missed the relationship bit a lot.
It’s good to be DOING. 🙂
Mel, we all hope and pray the remission is permanent or at very least lasts for many, many years. You are badly needed on this earth.
Your comment describes my situation exactly. Looking back I can see I allowed myself to become cocky. Maybe a little of the old “bullet proof” attitude. That is not good, you start to take things for granted. Take anything for granted even life itself and you start to loose the appreciation of the wonder of it all.
Over the years I received let’s just say less than optimistic words from the doctors, yet I sailed through it all with relative ease. Even the 5th heart attack in the midst of all this heart failure stuff, really not that big a deal it seemed. I was physically very strong and just kept bulling ahead. I think hearing those words from the doctors and then just moving on, increased my confidence, my cockiness. Maybe I am bullet proof. Lol
Reality has caught up with me. I realize that physical strength has slowly been drained. I feel both emotionally and physically drained.
Working on my relationship with the Big Man in the sky
You are on a roll with these latest posts, Sir! I just commented on one of the newer posts in reply to Mel’s description of a “delete” button for the brain. This is exactly the sort of thing I would use that “delete” button for: regrets over things I’ve said or done in the past — YEARS in the past, even things from when I was a child, that I still feel guilty about and fret over whenever they come to mind. I’m guessing we all have things like that taking up space in our brains and it would be nice to be able to just get rid of them, but I see the merit in keeping those memories around as learning experiences and focusing on what I’m going to do next AND how I’m going to avoid repeating the same mistakes.
Hi Cat. I think you are right. It would be nice to be able to let go off all the guilt we feel. Now we can’t let it consume us but maybe carrying just a little can help remind us of past mistakes so as not to repeat them.