Dying man’s daily journal – don’t let fear control your life

Many times I have been asked what I have learned from this whole blogging experience. A LOT. I am sure I could fill a hundred pages with all I have learned and with the way I like to ramble. My style must be why say it in 2 words if you can ramble on for an additional 20 words.
Where to even start. I have received in the area of 9,000 comments. Many of which raised points or brought out wisdom far beyond anything I could have managed on my own. I read these, I think on what has been said and try to absorb and put into practice the wisdom shared.
I learned from what was shared but I also learned. A life time of bad habits don’t just disappear just because you read something no matter how much sense what you read makes. Put me in certain situations, it seems especially if it involves my kids or grand kids. All the knowledge/wisdom in the world can’t keep the poppa bear in me from rising to the surface.
It takes work, it takes practice. No one ever said life would always be easy, just that it can be so very good. It truly is one of those things that the more you put in the more you get back. A big life lesson I am still struggling with, especially the poppa bear part.
Now this I already knew but this blogging experience has re-enforced it. In a situation such as mine many people don’t know what to say. I imagine the thought is, I don’t have anything “meaningful” to say. It is easier to just say nothing. I suppose my definition of what is meaningful in a situation like this comes into play. Every comment is meaningful. Something as simple as “hello, my thoughts are with you” has meaning to me. It means I was in the thoughts and heart of someone, very likely a stranger. Someone I have never met and never will meet. If nothing else it re-enforces in my own mind the love and kindness contained within the human heart.
Let’s jump this beyond a stranger on the internet, which is what I am to the vast majority of readers. Let’s take it to within our individual lives.
Make up a scenario. You in your own life have say an uncle but could be anyone. You know their time is short. Now I know individually we can likely come up with a million reasons/excuses why we don’t call or visit and they are perfectly legitimate to us in the moment. I can speak from experience. Once that person has passed, in time the legitimacy of those seemingly real reasons disappear and regret sets in.
Think of it from the perspective of the patient. Aware they know of your condition yet you don’t hear from them. What are you to think.
Recently, I spoke to a grieving new widow. A comment she made has stuck in my mind. “If they call it shows how much they care, if they don’t call that also shows how much they care”

3 Responses to Dying man’s daily journal – don’t let fear control your life

  1. M T McGuire says:

    Again, it all comes down to carpe diem. All I can say is that, as someone who you gave this advice to, a few years ago, when my aunt was dying, I am so glad I got in touch with her. I couldn’t get to the hospital but I wrote and I hope I got round to thanking but if I didn’t I’ll say it now because taking your advice…. Well I’ve no idea if it made a difference to her but it certainly helped me.



    I am so glad you were able to do that. You say it made a big difference to and I am sure it made just as big a difference to her. I recently received a warm, loving supportive message that lifted my spirits beyond anything you might imagine. I am sure it would have been the same for her.
    Thank you my friend

  2. Mel says:

    See, I believe you when you say you’ve learned as much from other’s comments as you have from letting yourself just ‘ramble’. You’ll have to trust me when I tell you that’s true for me/us. There’s great wisdom that gets shared here. I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve been wowed, humbled….heard exactly what I’ve needed to hear by you, by the folks who frequent here, and by the ‘drop ins’. It amazes me. But it shouldn’t really. My G-d works through people, day in and out, without fail. I just forget to stay open to really “listening”. I think that’s one of the greatest things having the web log (and visiting others) has done for me. It’s worked to slow me down enough that I can hear ME (which is scary and hilarious at the same time…LOL), and it’s allowed me time and space to really hear others. And it’s crossed my path with people I woulda never had the opportunity to come to know, people who have enriched my life in ways they cannot imagine. And you, sir, have been one of them. I’m so grateful for getting that opportunity.
    ((((( Bill ))))))

    Oh, and the other point you made—starfish!!! Matters to this one!! 🙂

  3. Jeremy says:

    Very powerful words, Bill. I have just dipped my toe in the water of your blog, but am certainly taken aback.

    All the best.

    Hey Jeremy, nice to hear from you. Welcome to my blog and hope to hear from you again

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