Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Update

Time seems to be flying past and how long it has been since I have really been on the blog. Life just keeps getting in the way.

For me sleeping is becoming a bigger and bigger part of my days. It seems no matter how much I sleep/nap I still feel constantly tired. It is almost more like a deep worn out feeling. Virtually zero energy and more and more am finding I have to push myself to do even little things.

Chest pain/discomfort is almost constant. Doctors always use a 1-10 scale in describing the level of pain. Majority of time mine is only about a 1. Really just enough to be noticeable, 4 or 5 times a day it increases to about a 4 or 5 level and I use the nitro spray. A nuisance but really not much more than that. I try to keep my mind in focus. If I dwell on the fact this pain is my heart, it can be unsettling.
My balance seems to be getting worse. At least several times a day, I seem to loose my balance. I do what I call a little stumble step and am able to catch myself, usually by grabbing on to something close by and getting stabilized. After a countless number of these little issues, I lost my balance and hit the floor. Luckily, I used my head against a dresser to partially break my fall. I am happy to say both the floor and dresser are just fine. Other than a headache and a honking bruise on my thigh, I also survived quite nicely.
While it was not planned, using my head to break my fall was likely a good thing. It has been described as being like a bowling ball. Hard on the outside, empty on the inside so can’t do it much harm.
Just part of the regular routine neurologist is sending me for an MRI to check out that pesky brain tumour. In a couple of weeks I see the heart failure clinic again just regular follow up.
Vi is still waiting for her surgery. Walking is becoming more and more of an issue. You can’t keep a good woman down. It seems most major stores have the motorized wheel chairs. She can’t walk the store isles so she now rides them in comfort. I am proud of her also for her determination in getting her flower beds all planted and looking good

7 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Update

  1. lypenner says:

    Hi Bill and Vi. Thanks for sending out an update Bill. Yesterday I was having another headache, and God sent me a heart-felt reminder that we are deeply loved in every circumstance, even and probably especially the difficult ones. This knowledge is what I wish for you both today. God sees the little sparrow fall, and no doubt He is his love is watching your every stumble too and is somehow giving you the inner strength to carry on. The humor in your post (an empty head, that’s a good one 🙂 is evidence that God is with you, plus hearing about Vi’s motorized shopping sprees and tended flower beds. Take care and thinking of you both!

    Thank you Lydia, beautiful message. On that I occasionally need reminder of

    • lypenner says:

      Sorry, meant to write that God “in his love” is watching you. Typo!

      Hi Lydia. No problem typos are allowed. I am sure in anyone of my ramblings you are likely to finds dozens of them. I just type and what ever comes up goes the post. I am sure I well may be embarrassed if I ever actually read any of my posts because of the typos that I am sure are there.

  2. NSC says:

    I am glad for the update also! Think of you often and wish you the best! I continue to be inspired by you as well! NSC

    Thank you

  3. Betty says:

    Bill, you and Vi are such an amazing couple. Your determination and strength must rub off on each other. Just wonderful! Your posts constantly remind me to not sweat the small stuff. Your humor is precious. Thank you and take care.

    right on Betty, don’t sweat the small stuff. I do know I am a lucky man to have Vi and we do our best to support each other with our individual issues.

  4. M T McGuire says:

    Thanks for the update. Thinking of both of you. Loved your account of breaking your fall with your head. Rest up and take care you both.



    Thank you my friend. Maybe I need to wrap myself in bubble wrap for a softer landing

  5. Mel says:

    Himself and I had thought of ourselves as reasonably healthy people until the past couple of years when things have seemed to show up in our everyday life. But we ain’t as young as we used to be. And few things that I’ve had for 20 years run like they used to, if they run at all. Now, put the years we both are into play….It’s a few more than 20. LOL. We, like you and Vi, try to find humour in the circumstances. We’re not stumbling into dressers. Closets, walls, chairs, doors…..but not dressers….yet… Yikes. I’m glad it turned out to be what it did, but still, I’m glad you’re getting checked.
    *laughing* I can just envision Vi speeding around in that cart. Surely she should quality for one of her own…with a cool horn. 🙂

    Hi Mel, you are right. Vi looks pretty cool motoring up those aisles. She/we learn to adapt to our circumstances. As our situation changes, we adapt or give in and quit really living. Still no word on her surgery date. Possibly that is for the best. It is pretty major and they say she will be really laid up for about 6 weeks. Keeping the energizer bunny down for that long is going to be an almost impossible task. Especially when the weather is nice and her beloved flower gardens are just out side. Miserable cold weather MAY help contain her a little.
    We are certainly not as young as we used to be. My mind seems to keep forgetting that but the body quickly steps in to remind it. We both have serious issues going on but overall are very lucky to have what we have. We know that and do try to appreciate it, although some days……

  6. gail goss says:

    Hi Bill, you are incredible the way you talk about your pain as nothing more than a nuisance. Your determination, strength, courage and positivity continue to inspire me. You also have a great sense of humour and i am pleased to hear you and the furniture are ok. Vi sounds like an amazing lady, she also has the strength and determination to carry on. The motorized wheel chairs sound like a great idea, good on her. I would love to see a photo of those flower beds , i’m sure Vi has done a great job and they look beautiful. Take care my friend, you, Vi and your family will always be in my thoughts and prayers…..Gail (Australia)

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