Dying Man’s Daily Journal – brain tumour


Living the wild bachelor life. Vi’s daughter, Lynelle and family passed through Winnipeg. They are on vacation and on there way to Wisconsin. They invited Vi to join them, she did and will be gone for the next week. I wear one of those medical alert pendants and we had to test it to ensure her it was working before she left, all is good. I think it is good for her to get away every once in a while. In a way a bit of a respite from worrying about me. I know she still worries but there is at least a little of the “out of sight out of mind” relaxation time.

I am often asked how am I doing? My standard answer is I am doing good and based on my current reality I am doing good. I am up and about can cook for myself, care for myself. Remembering to take my medications well that can be an issue. It is just my energy levels are close to zero and I just have to push myself a little harder. Things like dusting the house, the routine things will just not be happening.

People will often comment, you are looking good, you don’t even look sick. Well I am not sick in the way we generally consider being sick. I have a bad heart that greatly affects me physically and a brain tumour that who knows what it is doing to my thinking and emotions. I realize I haven’t written much about the tumour, just not sure what to say about it or how it is affecting me.

As I think about it, it has to be affecting me in some way to some degree. I just have no idea of how or how much.
What do I know about it. It is located obviously on the inside but is about an inch above the centre of my right eye brow. It is roughly round in shape and a little bigger than a large walnut. It obviously squishes that right frontal lobe. Being squished has to effect the full and proper function of that part of the brain. The frontal section of the brain is where our personality is formed. How can you tell how much it is affecting you??

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11 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – brain tumour

  1. M T McGuire says:

    If it’s any consolation, my Dad has memory issues that sound similar to yours. A different cause but the same results. He was given counselling about them but where do you start when you can’t remember what the counsellor has said? So I absolutely gat where you’re coming from about evaluating the effects. With many of these things, it seems you can’t. Perhaps that’s why a lot of them are so hard to treat.

    Cheers

    MTM

    Sorry to hear about your dad. Our situation does sound similar. For the vast majority of time memory issues are not a big deal for the “patient”. You carry on through your regular day totally unaware of anything forgotten, the world is good. I do recognize my problem daily as Vi seems to have to constantly remind me to take various medications. If I have any sort of doctors appointment Vi goes with me as by the time I get home I very well may not remember what the doctor said. On the few occasions she is not available, I ask them to write detailed notes. One time I even took a recording devise.
    What is most embarrassing is when someone brings up a time, an event or circumstance that may have even happened even just days or weeks ago and I have no idea what they are talking about. It seems once that memory goes, it is gone. Even seeing pictures of myself don’t seem to bring it back

  2. Hi there! My name is Cameron Von St. James and I had a quick question for you & was wondering if you could please email me when you have a free moment. Thanks! I really hope to hear from you soon and appreciate you taking the time.

    hello Cameron and welcome to the blog. For your privacy I deleted your email address from the public viewing section. Email on the way
    Bill

  3. Mel says:

    I’d wager the best way to evaluate the effects will be by asking Vi. I doubt you’ll readily recognize the subtle changes. I suspect Vi is hyper aware of them. If there’s been ‘mood’ changes, they’ve not shown up here. It’s rare that you’re anything but positive and upbeat. Even when you share the hard stuff, you’re always looking for the positive and staying grateful.
    Tumors will mess with the functions of your brain, though sometimes the brain re-routes itself to compensate. Maybe you’ve not forgotten so much as you’ve been under informed about where the new storage unit is! 😉

    Hey Mel. I know my memory sucks. Actually, I was referred for a memory, cognitive test. My head is still on as thinking, cognitive abilities are fine. Memory not so much.
    Vi and I have talked about this. She says she really hasn’t noticed any changes other than my balance is getting worse. I can live with that. Haven’t actually fallen but do the little stumble step thing or grab on to something so not so bad.
    Got a little laugh here as I think way back to when I was having the epileptic seizures. I had 5 of the big hit the ground seizures. Now wouldn’t the odds be that if you go down like that 5 different times, at least once you would land on something soft. Nope

    • Mel says:

      Hahaha…I’d say, knowing what I know from hanging around this joint, you hitting the ground 5 times would mean 5 times hitting the ground HARD. No soft landings for you……no siree! If you’re going to do something, you’re going to do it with lots of gusto! LOL

      Hey Mel. Wouldn’t you thing just the law of averages would mean I land on something soft, No. The count is up to 6 times hitting the floor. My balance is way off. I often do what I call a little stumble step, loose my balance but am able to regain it, most often by grabbing something close by.
      A couple of weeks back I hit the floor. It was in the bedroom. Did I land on the bed? No, on the floor beside the bed. Luckily, I was able to use my head on the dresser to break my fall. Lol

  4. Betty says:

    Getting a little concerned. Are you and Vi okay?

    sorry Betty, didn’t. Mean to cause worry. Have had better times but have had a lot worse. Will try get a post up in the next day or two.
    Thank you though for the concern and comment
    Bill

  5. Hilary says:

    Hi Bill – I’m sure life isn’t easy at times … and inevitably the little ‘nut’ is deciding what it’s doing for itself and not for you … however you are amazing at how you cope – don’t dust – that’s an easy choice!

    Vi, I’m sure, is grateful for a few days away and with her family .. but knowing that you’re protected via your Medic Alert ..

    Thinking of you .. and all the best – Hilary

    hi Hilary, nice to hear from you. No dusting was done. Actually, my life is good. Things just happen at a slow pace

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    Bill

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