I am feeling, I suppose more settled, maybe I have reached a level of acceptance. My brothers passing came as such a shock. Bad or damaged hearts were something we had in common. Supposedly, I was in the more serious condition as there is just nothing more they van do. For Robin there was something they could do. A surgical procedure that when completed would totally have him back on his feet, feeling better than he had in years. We all knew his heart was in bad shape but it could be fixed so we were just not all that concerned. July 17th was the day. Turns out to be a day just a little to far in the future.
It has been a few days and I suppose my mind has had the time it needed to recover from that shock. While I am certainly not OK with this whole thing. I have reached a level of acceptance. With that life has become to some degree easier, have been able to let go of some one the stress. That was hitting me hard, bringing on a lot more chest pain. Have used the nitro spray more this past few days than likely the entire previous month.
memorial service is tomorrow. It will be a hard day.
If anyone has time to say an extra prayer it will be appreciated
Dying mans daily journal 
You and yours will definitely be in my prayers, both today and especially tomorrow. Gratitude for a dear brother and grief at losing him will have to exist side by side. One thing you can’t lose is the love for him and from him. Blessings.
thank you lydia
P.s. A well written obituary. Thanks for sharing
Thank you
Sorry about your loss . Thoughts and prayers .
thank you
Many of us are thinking of you today…thoughts, positive vibes,
and prayers!
thank you. A hard day that put me in the hospital. Prayers appreciated
Definitely praying. So sorry about this sudden and shocking loss!
Thank you
It’s definitely a tough time, Bill. Made tougher if you don’t tend to you. You don’t get to change the circumstances and yes, it takes us time to arrive at a level of acceptance. No doubt there’s been a lot of emotional upheaval going on for you and others. It’s hard losing someone you love, whether you know it’s coming or not. Of course it’s going to be a struggle.
I’ll worry about you absorbing all the emotional stress and compromising your own health. Now’s not the time to be doing that, yaknow? Now’s the time to ease off and just make the time to rest and breathe and let others be of help.
(yes, NOW I’ll fret) (it’s just what I DO….by you already know that!)