I am special in Good’s eyes but no more special than anyone else


I am finding going back and reading my post from back at the very beginning to be very helpful. I like to stand chin up, shoulders squared  and face things head on. When I wrote this I was about a 1 1/2 years into the “2 years if you are lucky” time frame given by the doctor. I was standing tall, ready to face what ever was coming. By the grace go God that 2 year time left to period came and went and I am still here. As more time progressed, I realize I became more and more cocky. When I was young and foolish I thought I was tough and “bullet proof”. In the time since I have had several “close calls” with let’s just say doctors becoming less and less optimistic. I realize I have allowed that to wear away at me. I am still standing ready to face what ever is coming. But, maybe shoulders aren’t quite as square and chin may be down a little. Reading this early stuff shows me how I have grown in areas but maybe faltering a little in others

 

I have had a about a year and a half to get used to this dying thing. But, I don’t think you can get used to the idea, I am going to die soon, unless you grow both inside as a person and spiritually. When I first was told by the doctors that I am dying, I spent a period where I was angry. Angry at myself for not taking better care of my health, and even angry at God. Why me, I am a good person, why would God let this happen to me. Some where along the line a realization came to me. Yes, I am what I consider to be a good person, but so are the millions or others out there that are dying. What gave me the right to assume I would get treated any differently than any of them. I believe in a loving and a fair God. A God that loves all of his children. His children being absolutely everyone on this earth. Does,God love me in a way stronger and more pure than anything I can hope to imagine, Yes. Does God consider me to be special and unique, Yes. Does God love me or consider me to be more special than anyone else in this world, No.

God, loves all of his children equally, with the same pure love for all, irregardless or race, colour, sex or anything else. I realized, it was pretty arrogant of me to expect that I should be treated any differently than anyone else. What makes me think I am so special as to receive perefential treatment. Am I loved by God and have I received special treatment from him, absolutely. Can I or should I expect to receive pereffential treatment above all others, No. So I guess the answer to my question why me, is why not me.

That is a humbling realization. I have never considered myself to be superior to anyone else, nor have I ever considered anyone else to be superior to me. What could possibly make God see me any differently? I have come to accept what ever God has in store for me, I am in his hands. When it is obvious that it is inevitable, acceptance is the greatest comfort.

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2 Responses to I am special in Good’s eyes but no more special than anyone else

  1. M T McGuire says:

    It must be hard not to falter a bit with that hanging over you all the time. If it helps you still come across as impressively square shouldered and unbowed. 🙂

    Cheers

    MTM

    thank you that is nice to hear
    You are another that well may find my revisiting old posts old. You have been here with me for almost all of them. Thank you my friend.
    Bill

  2. Mel says:

    “God, loves all of his children equally, with the same pure love for all, irregardless or race, colour, sex or anything else. I realized, it was pretty arrogant of me to expect that I should be treated any differently than anyone else. What makes me think I am so special as to receive perefential treatment. Am I loved by God and have I received special treatment from him, absolutely. Can I or should I expect to receive pereffential treatment above all others, No. So I guess the answer to my question why me, is why not me.”

    This is such a powerful piece. It’s one that I could read again and again and again. I’ve been the recipient of so many blessings, graced with them when I’ve been (in my humble opinion) no saint. K…LOL…that’s fact, not opinion. Point is, I have a Maker that has given me with such abundance in this life. It’s pretty ludicrous that I would ask or expect more. But I know He’ll just keep gifting me…cuz that’s how He’s worked in my life.
    And I agree with MTM…still squared shouldered.
    Thanks for regifting me this.

    as is so often the case your comments contain such a wise and powerful message, I need to pause and think of the response.
    This was something that I did come to realize all those years back. I have been blessed in so many ways, so many times. I know that and “usually” am so very appreciative of it. In the big picture of my life I am a very blessed, very lucky man. Even knowing this it seems to be so very easy for me to slip in to the woe is me, or getting upset when life doesn’t unfold before me in the way “I” would like it or expect it to happen. I mean really who could possibly know what is best for me. Surely, that must be me. Well, time and experience has proven me wrong on that one.
    I remember being in situations where I prayed and prayed for a specific outcome, the one that I knew to be best for me. It seemed more often than not those prayers were not answered in that I didn’t get my way. I believe all prayers are answered it is just sometimes the answer to what we are asking for is no.
    With my perfect 20/20 hindsight I can see that while the situation didn’t work out to my liking the big picture of life did work out.
    I know God loves me and sees me as someone very special. I am not sure how to word this. Somehow, it is almost like a blow to our fragile human ego that we are not seen as being extra special. That we will not always be granted everything that we see as being what we need or should have in our lives

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