In the past I have not paid that much attention to my brain tumour. Actually, it is a meningioma which is a tumour attached to the inner lining of the skull. Generally it is non cancerous and is very slow growing.
Keep in mind this is all as I understand it to be, I am not a doctor and can speak only from a patients view.
Mine was discovered accidentally. Hospitalized for a suspected heart attack. Other symptoms at the time suggested possibly a stroke which led to an MRI being done on my head. Good news it was not a stroke, bad news they discovered the brain tumour.
It is located about 1 1/2 inches above my right eyebrow. Obviously on the inside of my skull, nothing obvious on the outside.
I was told it would be monitored for growth but in all likelihood would not require any attention for 10-15 years. When I was first diagnosed with the heart failure, my doctor told me I might have 2 years left, if I was lucky. Well the tumour was discovered within that 2 year time frame.
With everything else going on I didn’t let the news of a brain tumour bother me in the slightest. I mean, in my mind there was no way I would be here in 10-15 years so no point in sweating it.
I can only give thanks to our Heavenly Father but it is now 12 or 13 years later and I am still here.
The brain is contained within the protective confines of your skull, within that skull there is only so much room. Your brain needs all of that room to properly function or at least as intended. As my tumour grows it compresses that part of the brain which has to some extent affect the functioning of that part of your brain.
My tumour is regularly monitored for growth/size. It is round in shape and is growing but at a slow rate. With each test I ask about the size. Now I am a visual guy don’t just throw numbers at me, especially metric. I need a physical comparable to be able to visualize it.
Over time it has gone from the size of a cherry-quarter-walnut-overgrown walnut.
Because of its position it presses on and to whatever extent affects the function of the right frontal lobe of my brain.
I have been googling the right frontal lobe. It is a pretty big deal with personality, impulsivity, memory. Most of what makes you, you. I will be getting into a lot of that in future posts.
Something I have noticed is perception. By googling I have learned it can take away a lot of your ability to recognize non verbal communication signs.
Communication is not a straight forward issue. Every message is actually multiple messages. There is the though in my head I am trying to convey. The second is how accurately I am able to verbalize that message. There is how the other person hears those words and then how they interpret them.
I read somewhere 83% of communication is non verbal. Seeing and interpreting the non verbal feed back. The tumour can greatly hinder that ability to interpret or even see that non verbal feed back. If you have missed 83% of an exchange! you miss a lot. This is hard to describe, will try to think of an example for another post.
Have an appointment with the neurologist coming up. Have many more questions this time around.
I still get a bit if a chuckle when I think back to, if not the first it was one of the very early appointments with the neurologist. It went something like this:
Doc, “do you ever have any urges to act inappropriately in public?
Doc: do you ever have the urge to expose yourself in public?
Me: WHAT? NO!!!!
Doc: Do you ever have the urge to urinate in public?
Me: come on, get real. NO.
Certainly nothing has changed that way. Oh, wait does pulling over to the side of the highway count? If there are no other vehicles or any sort of buildings in sight, well I MAY have relieved myself. Lol