I often see comments left by those struggling with the idea of visiting a terminally ill person. It may be struggling with the thought of going or looking for suggestions on what to say during such a visit.
I have said many times I am not a doctor, nor therapist, I am just sharing my thoughts from my own experience and my thoughts which most certainly not apply to everyone. Every situation is unique as every individual is. These are my thoughts as they apply to me.
Firstly, should you call/visit. My answer to that would be a big YES. Geography may make a visit impossible but I think it is fair to assume most have access to a telephone. Recently I have written of the sad passing of my cousin Joe. I spoke to his wife Ev, she spoke of how the telephone was constantly ringing off the hook. She said it was wonderful as it showed how much people cared. I think that is wonderful of all that are showing that caring.
From that I am going to take it one step further. If calling or visiting can show how much you care. Could not the same be felt if you do not call. Now I know I am over simplifying and maybe over stating it, or am I. Calling shows how much you care, not calling shows how much you care. A terminal patient is aware you know of their condition. If they don’t even get a call, what are they left to think? Do you think they could get the impression they are not important enough to you to even warrant a simple phone call. Now think about that. Yeah, yeah, I know hundreds of excuses will instantly pop to mind. Try to think of it from the patients point of view.
What to say or talk about. For me that is easy. I am still the same person I was before the doctors came up with their prognosis. My likes and dislikes are the same, I enjoy the same things. Talk as we “normally” would. Reminiscing is always good, take a trip down memory lane. If you want to ask about my health, go ahead and I will answer your questions. I live and breathe all of that on a daily basis. A pleasant distraction is much more appreciated