Digging within ourselves

They say with age comes wisdom, huh. What happened to me I am getting the age but that wisdom part seems to be skipping right by me. I do usually just sit back, look at and try to learn from any little episodes that happen in my life. The way I was pushing at the gym was ridiculous in hind sight.

I am still trying to digest this. I think there was an element of pride or ego involved. Way back in the day, I actually did a lot of weight lifting etc. and become physically very strong. I was proud of the fact I could out lift the others in our group. In doing that I pushed, dug down deep giving it everything I had in me. I pushed harder than I know some did and it paid off. I remember something my Dad told me , I am not sure but I must have been in my teens. I can’t remember the circumstances but I had come home absolutely physically exhausted. I mean totally physically worn out. My legs both rubbery and like they each weighed 1,000, the same with my arms. I don’t know what I said but it must have been along the lines of I was to exhausted to move a muscle.

Now I am sure he told me to rest or something like that. It is the things he said next that have really stuck in my mind over the years and I think have served me well.
“Never think you just don’t have the energy to do anything. You have to just dig a little deeper within and you will find all the energy you need.”
I am not sure how I responded, but I imagine it was along the lines of, not today I couldn’t I am to worn out.
His reply was: “think about it. As tired as you feel right now, if you suddenly saw a child playing in the street about to be hit by a truck. All thoughts of how tired you feel would be gone. You would be running harder and faster than you ever have before to try to save that child. You can always dig deeper.
OK, I know adrenaline would kick in, in that example, but the overall message came through. If something is important enough, we CAN dig a little deeper, find the energy to push through.
Has that attitude given me that extra strength to bull my way through the heart attacks…. I don’t know

3 Responses to Digging within ourselves

  1. Larry says:

    Hi Bill
    I can only remember meeting your dad a few times. His words must have really stuck with you. It must be close to 50 years I have known you. You don’t know how to give up, it is just not in you. I never thought of it that way before but you just dig down and pull up the internal strength, the physical strength from some where.
    What is it 3 or 4 times the doctors have all but given up on you. They didn’t know you.
    You keep doing what ever it is you are and always have done, you could make it to your 90’s. This has brought up an old memory. You most probably have forgotten. We were about 16 or 17 at a party somewhere, I am sure beer was involved. There was a big loud mouth causing a fuss. I know he was bigger than you I want to say by quite a bit. You confronted him. He used both hands and pushed you back a step or two yelling, who the F*** do you think you are?
    I think it is you reply more than anything else that I remember more than anything. It was I don’t think, I KNOW I am Bill Howdle . I don’t remember what happened after that, let me know if you remember. Your words became I suppose you could say famous within the school. Everyone was walking around saying I KNOW I am ……..
    You ARE Bill Howdle, stay the man you are and you will have years upon years

    **** hey Larry it has been a long time and it’s nice to hear from you. I thank you for your kind words of encouragement.
    If we were at a party back in those days you know beer would have been involved. Sorry though I don’t remember but I am sure we had a good time. I tried to email you but the message wouldn’t go through. Hope we can get in touch.

  2. Betty says:

    Hi Bill,

    Have been missing seeing your posts. Hope all is okay with you and Vi. Happened to be at the Wellness Centre on Tuesday….looked about to see if you were there, but unfortunately not. Please take care.

  3. Riverwatch says:

    Thanks for sharing memories. I am up in the middle of the night trying to write a poem on the importance of memories. (Don’t ask me why, because I am not sure why.)
    I appreciate you.

    ***** well thank you. It is always nice to be appreciated. Good luck with the poem. Maybe you could share it with us when you get it done.

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