Dying Man’s Daily Journal – My Feelings

I just noticed the time. If all goes according to schedule this time tomorrow I will be on the operating room table. I am so looking forward to getting this over with.

i have been spending time just thinking about my life. What am I most grateful for? That is so obvious my daughters have been such a wonder in my life. Billie, Shauna I love you so much. I always have and always will be so very proud of you. The good Lord was certainly smiling down on me as He blessed me with each of you. I am so blessed, I know and appreciate that.

through you the blessings have just kept coming. Three grand daughters, my amazing little princesses the pride and joy you have brought to my heart. I love you so much, more than you can imagine. Princess Sage, Princess Emery and Princess Malieka you are a grandpa’s dream come true. Now princess Sage a while back we had a conversation in which you said you are not really a princess because to be a real princess you had to be the princess of “somewhere”. Do you remember what I said to that. My heart is somewhere and you will always be the princess there.
Rob and Jake my two son-in-laws, what can I say. I am so very happy and proud to have each of you as part of my family.
Vi what a rock you have been for me. At my side as we have faced each challenge head on. Day by day you are there never complaining as you have been forced to take on more and more as my physical limitations have decreased. With out you, your loving support and encouragement I have no doubt I would not be here today. What can I say but I love you and thank you. Those few words seem like a pretty feeble attempt at expressing my feeling but I am at a loss for words to say all I feel. I trust you know what is in my heart.
I seem to have tired myself out, nap time is feeling really appealing. I am suddenly feeling I have so much more to say to my best buddy Seth. To Sadie and all of Vi’ children and grandchildren. When Vi and I first got together all those tears back, we each had children from previous relationships. On both sides the kids were already grown. Now back then I thought of her grand kids as my step grand children. Some how with the passing of time the word step when it comes to the grand kids as disappeared from my thoughts.
Unless you are a blogger, I don’t think you can understand the depth, the reality of these cyber relationships. The bonds of loving support that develop as we accompany each other on this leg of life’s journey. The degree of comfort and support given and received is beyond measure. I have been blessed beyond belief by all of you my cyber friends, I just don’t have the words all that is in my heart.
Hmm, Vi just read this and says it sounds like I am saying good bye. I prefer to think of it as me just taking the chance to express my feelings.
Yes, I will be gone from the blog for at least a few days but I WILL BE BACK

11 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – My Feelings

  1. Fairyflutterings says:

    My fragile heart will be beating alongside yours tomorrow ans lending a bit of strength while your own heart beats to a different drum for a bit. Holding you in my heart, mind and prayers xxx

  2. BC says:

    All the best for tomorrow Bill, I will be thinking of you.

    Lots of love.


  3. Laura says:

    Bill! So sorry for not writing back for a long time, I do not have the access to a computer always. Keeping you in prayers and thoughts, may God keep you safely under his wings tomorrow. Am looking foward always to your next post. Much love!

  4. Jennie says:

    That was a beautiful post Bill. Your love for those dear to you shines through. I’m glad you have such a wonderful wife in Vi. She must be an amazing lady.

    Maybe it’s good to tell people how much they mean to us as if it were ‘goodbye’. Why wait huh?

    You have certainly touched my life, dear friend. Your caring and encouragement help me leave a relationship that was not good for me and now my life is so much better. Beyond that, you have shown me such a good example of noticing, and reaching out to others, as you have done through your blog and other ways in your life. It’s a beautiful thing.

    I am praying for you and your doctors in your upcoming procedure. May the peace which passes understanding be with you.



  5. lypenner says:

    You are definitely in my prayers Bill. God is with you every step and moment of the way, as are your loving family and cyber friends who offer so many good words to encourage you. -Lydia

  6. Mel says:

    *sending my better angel* And prayers, for all of you. I’ll be holding you in my thoughts and in my heart.
    I have every faith in the physicians that have been put in your path.
    ((((( Bill and Vi )))))
    My love to the both of you.

  7. Betty says:

    My prayers are with you Bill, Vi and family. I am so optimistic that all will go well tomorrow. May the procedure take away many of the symptoms that often make life difficult. You left a beautiful post today and look forward to your next one once you are up and about.

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  9. Mark Lowe says:

    Hello Bill, hope it all goes well with the op ,we will all be thinking & praying for you & your family and waiting for you to start posting again miss your posts all ready love from all of us over here xxx

  10. Mel says:

    Thinking of all of you….candle is lit. Prayers are being said.
    ((((( everyone )))))

  11. hilarymb says:

    Hi Bill .. that was an amazing read .. and I know I’m late coming here – but all’s well with you I’m delighted to read …

    Again it’s great you’ve put down your feelings, and they will be there for Vi and your family … daughters, sons-in-law, steps and various genealogy levels … to see when they chose.

    Blogging is great isn’t it .. really opens ones eyes to so many things …

    It’s been great being here and being able to read how you are progressing …. many thanks – Hilary

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