Again I do thank all for all the loving and supportive comments. I do read and appreciate all.
Some have expressed concern over my stress levels and how I am dealing with it. Now as hard as I try to reassure her Vi is worried sick. We work as a team, I take care of some things, she takes care of others. OK, she is taking care of the worrying, I know that part is being dealt with so I don’t have to bother with it. That actually, as silly as it sounds is sort of the way it is working.
i really am not concern with the up coming angiogram/angioplasty. I have been there and done that. It is what comes after, which will be base entirely on what they see when they have that camera in my heart. This time the day after tomorrow we will know.
I really don’t know how much time I do have. What I do know is I want to get as much living as I can out of it.
Reality is I can’t help but be apprehensive, I know that. I think you would maybe be in denial if you didn’t accept/realize the seriousness of all of this. What I have become pretty good at is giving myself 15 or 20 minutes in the morning to, yes, feel a little sorry for myself. I am not sure if feel sorry for myself is the correct wording. It is the time I allow myself to grieve. People grieve when they suffer a loss or are facing a loss. I see facing you own passing is a very good reason to grieve.
It is like I need to get those feelings out, acknowledge them but then try to put them away for the rest of the day. How can I truly live my precious life (it is precious to me) if my head is all clogged up worrying and fretting over something that I can not control.