Dying Man’s Daily Journal – None the worse for the wear


Completed the second go round of heart test. Now it is more waiting for the doctors to review the results. Because of the up coming long week end it could take a few extra days.

Generally heart tests aren’t that difficult for the patient. Mostly you just lay there while they take pictures or get images via cat scan, ultra sound, there is a variety of ways.

It really is amazing the technology and variety of different medications they have today. They even have a medication that can “trick” your heart into thinking you are exercising or working hard. Even though you are just sitting there your heart begins to react as if you really were, in this case walking on a treadmill.
I have avoided talking about specific or technical medical issues as what I would write would be based only on my personal understanding. As I have said many times I am not a doctor and my personal understanding may in fact not be right on. I just wouldn’t want to mislead. I have had 5 heart attacks but have never described what is like to experience a heart attack. I do know that symptoms, signs of a heart attack can vary. I just wouldn’t want anyone to possibly base a decision on where or not to seek medical attention because of the way I may describe my own. I mean sort of like: “this can’t be a heart attack because it isn’t like Bill described a heart attack.”
More tomorrow. A special thank you to all that have left the messages of support.

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6 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – None the worse for the wear

  1. rangewriter says:

    May the news be good and helpful, when it arrives. I would be interested to know what your heart attack experiences felt like to you. Of course, everyone’s experience is different. Just like there are a lot of different ways in which the ol’ pump may fail. Still, I would love to know what you experienced from the inside out.
    (If you’re up to talking about it, of course.)

  2. Kashif says:

    I hope you feel better soon.
    I just wanted you to know that reading your blogs have helped me be at peace with the idea of dying.I would spend many a sleepless nights wondering how my transition would be.
    Thank you.

  3. Fairyflutterings says:

    Soooo glad you are home again, safe and sound. I have thought about your wariness to share the ‘what it is like’ part of your heart attacks and I guess a couple of thoughts have settled in my mind. I think that your blog makes it clear in so many ways that you are sharing your experience, not saying it will be the same for anyone else, but simply opening up a loving space for us all to share and swap our own experiences, owning them as our own and honouring the fact that it could well be different for us all but we share a common humanity and can learn and grow by honouring the uniqueness of our individual experience, respecting that no one person’s experience is more valid or true than any others. For me, sharing what it was like for you having heart attacks is no different. But, I guess the thing that sticks with me the most is whether it might help you to talk of these difficult times around your heart attacks or whether those feelings may hold energy and be a bit raw to share given the tests etc you are currently enduring. I think the answer lies in your own soul. If sharing helps you that is as important, if not more so, as what it might bring any of us.

  4. Mel says:

    ((((( Bill )))))))
    (415,741 hits)

    Oh goodie–more ‘waiting’. :-/

    Much like the Fairy, I stopped in last evening and read and gave some though to the bit of ambivalence you have in sharing the details. I’ve ‘heard’ you describe some of the moments here, Bill. But they’ve always been in reference to the ‘whole’, to back up what you’ve prayed about and put to black and white for others.

    I trust your process. You just shared that process with us not too long ago. If you pray for guidance and that’s what comes–then of course–please don’t edit out of fear or some sense of responsibility for what another might generalize. For me it’s that simple. You pray, ask and put into black and white.
    If there’s something in you that is pushing you in that direction (being the gal I am and knowing that sometimes *I* get in the way of *me*) I’d have to question if you need to simply honour that nudge, pray about it and put fingers to keyboard and let it land where it lands. I understand the ambivalence–but dearheart, you’re not responsible how anyone interprets what you share here. I think you’ve done a phenomenal job of making sure folks know this is merely your thinking, your experience and your opinion–folks can take from it what they need, what fits for them.

    There’s my rather lengthy 2 cents. đŸ˜‰

    I’m glad to hear the testing has happened–and I know there’s a ‘wait’ while others get the results and make determinations. So there’s a TODAY to play in, to laugh and love in! Maybe a moment in the sun–a game of crib with someone who’ll likely beat you (hahahaha) and hopefully a peek at springtime! And a bit of rest–cuz that testing stuff can zap the energy out of anyone!
    ((((((( Bill )))))))))

  5. hilarymb says:

    Hi Bill .. a Happy Easter together with Vi .. and if there’s any Spring do enjoy it!! The year is starting slowly as far as the seasons are concerned.

    I’m pleased the testing went comfortably and you’re home – you’re good at waiting.

    I’d love you to put some thoughts about your attacks down – prefacing each or the only post with .. this is what happened to me …

    I know from my mother’s strokes – I often offer snippets of information in the hope that someone takes them in – that’s the way I absorb information about things I don’t understand – and there were plenty of those around the various hospitals. All help my understanding, I hope …

    With thoughts – Hilary

  6. Dave says:

    Bill , I have also had all the same tests , amazing what they can do today. I pray for a positive outcome from this round of tests.

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