Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Non living of life


Well another summer has gone by and it went so quickly surely I must have missed a good part of it or something. How could time go by that quickly? With the head aches there were individual days that seemed to last forever but even so it came and it went in the blink of an eye.

I am feeling almost like a bit of a hypocrite of something. Here on the blog about enjoying life to the fullest, enjoy what we have while we have it. Now what do I do myself? I have had this (#@*&) headache for over 3 months and I let it pretty much stop me in my tracks. I found myself more just laying around moaning, groaning and feeling sorry for myself. That is not a fun way to live life. I found myself continually saying, it is just a headache and in the big picture it is not such a big deal. OK, now that is so easy to say but at the moment when your head is just rocking and banging. it is so hard not to just get absorbed in the moment. Some of the things tried had brought some temporary relief but nothing that lasts.

Doctors are still trying different things. Waiting for the MRI in mid November to check on the old brain tumor. Well I am tired of this non living of life. I bought an eye patch a while back as the left eye is very sensitive to light but somehow never really got into wearing it. I found myself avoiding going outside because it was too bright and would hurt. WELL PUT ON YOUR EYE PATCH YOU IDIOT!! I got to the point where I was avoiding even coming to the computer as even with sun glasses looking at the computer screen got to my eye. Geesh, you think I would learn. PUT ON YOU EYE PATCH YOU IDIOT!!! Yes I am pretending I am a pirate and am wearing my eye patch as I write this.

I find I miss the blog, I need the blog as it brings me a lot of internal peace of mind.

So life isn’t as I would like it to be. There are limitations but I can still make the best of what I have.

I have said it before, I often write about what I am struggling with. So there you have it for today.

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6 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Non living of life

  1. BC says:

    I hope you wore your eye patch on World Talk Like a Pirate Day last week! 😉

    Seriously though, I think you’re allowed to moan about this one. I know the one thing I really have difficulty coping with is a sore head. I hope the MRI scan gives the Doctors enough info to stop the aching.

    All the best

    MTM

  2. Irene says:

    Dear Bill,
    I’m not sure this is going to help in anyway, but here goes: “…unearned suffering is redemptive.” (Martin Luther King) You lucky person…Here’s your opportunity to transform yourself (again!!) and heal those around you. The God-self in you will know exactly what to do and how to do it. Thinking of you often . Praying for you always, Wiseman.
    Irene

  3. rangewriter says:

    Yeah, as you emerge from your cave with eyepatch in place! Welcome to the bright world. We knew curiosity we draw you out of your lair.

    May the headache take a flying leap off a cliff and never haunt you again.

  4. lypenner says:

    Hi Bill. Thinking of you and I’ll even send up some prayers for you and those darn eyes and head. I know how much chronic pain can be a grinder, so I will pray for patience for you and some insight for doctors as to how to relieve the pains. I hope Vi can read these comments to you so you’re encouraged by your internet community. Hang in there, wishing you inner peace. -Lydia

  5. Mel says:

    Figured it went something like that…… I’m always honoured when you just put it out there and say what’s true to us. Takes a bit of humility and a whole lotta tenacity–both which I respect hugely.

    So thank you for just saying what’s true.
    And bless your heart for being able to poke fun at yourself and your own, self created barriers.
    I’m hopeful you’ll continue with the patch and give that head of yours a break. Besides–Talk Like a Pirate Day mighta come and gone…..but Halloween is creeping up! You’re halfway there with a costume!
    JUST sayin’…..

    So thank you.

    I don’t always LIKE when WPIML nods and frowns, listens and says “I understand……must be tough……” and then follows it up with a “Now……get over it and move on cuz there’s things you’re suppose to be doing and THIS AIN’T IT.”
    *rolling eyes*

    He cares more about my LIFE than my fragile little feelings. I’m graced like that.

    ((((((((((((((( Bill )))))))))))))))))

    I hope you have some kind of clue about how much your presence has been missed……..

    thank you Mel, I do plan on being here a lot more coming up

  6. Dearest Bill, you have been on my mind lately. Now I know why….you’ve been having some cruddy days and something “out there” gave me the inspiration to visit you and see what you are up to. You are much tougher than you know. But it’s a simple fact that we all can’t keep up being positive and smiling 24/7. Life just doesn’t go like that for anyone. I admire you and all of the wonderful and courageous people who blog on your site. This is an inspiration for so many more people than you know. But, please don’t put pressure on yourself, OKAY????!!!! You are God’s precious child and give so much to your friends and strangers who pop across their computer.

    It’s okay to feel cruddy. It’s your right! Stand up and say, “I feel crummy today. I’ll be okay, but for this moment, I feel crummy and I’d like a hug!” There – now here’s a big cyber hug to you! Hugs and love, Patti

    hey Patti, thank you for the words of encouragement. I think I have rounded the bend and am on the way back. I know that no one can remain possitive all the time. It is somthing I do really try to work on. Attitude can affect, change you whole life. I need to keep mine in line. How are you.
    Bill

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