Dying Man’s Daily Journal – dying, emotional learning curve


I am happy to say Nellie, Vi’s mum is much happier, more content with the world. She was discharged from the hospital yesterday. It had reached the point where there was nothing more in the hospital that could be done for her that could not be done at home. There is no doubt she will receive the care at home and her peace of mind, comfort and happiness are top most on everyone’s minds.

I know from experience it can sometimes take your mind some time to catch up/realize diminishing physical limitations. My concern right now may be that Nellie may be just lots say a “TAD” on the STUBBORN side. If she decides she is going to do something, she is going to do it and she is going to do it now. None of this waiting for someone to help her. She is in a very weakened position and can’t or at least is not supposed to try walking without two people there to support her, one on each side. Case in point, a couple of days ago Vi was there at meal time. Two nurses came in and helped get her out of bed and to walk to a chair close to the foot of her bed. They left leaving the instructions that after she had eaten and was ready to go back to bed she was to call them and they would return to help her back to bed. Vi told her to stay there while she ran to get the nurses. They return a minute later and Nellie has gotten herself back to bed. Now here I am of a split mind. On one side I admire her determination, spunk and pluck in trying to overcome these physical limitations, here on the blog I encourage that, within reason. The other side of me says, “what is the matter with you, you crazy old lady. don’t you know you could have fallen again and maybe broken who knows what this time.” In the hospital they even had an alarm on the sides of her bed so they could tell when she was trying to get up or out.

At home there is no doubt with the family there, she will receive loving quality care. My concern is if in the middle of the night she decides she needs or wants something, what do you think are the chances of her being willing to sit there waiting for someone to wake up??????

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2 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – dying, emotional learning curve

  1. Betty says:

    I am so happy to hear that Nellie is now recovering at home. Just wondering if she did the chair to bed thing on her own so that she could prove that she was capable of doing it and that she was ready to go home. My mother also was very determined and pulled several stunts while it hospital to show she was fit to leave well before she was ready.

  2. Mel says:

    Can you blame her?
    I mean, you can worry about her, make arrangements for her–you can even get a singing button for her to push so someone in the house caring for her HEARS that she needs help (that’s what we did with the sister who couldn’t talk her needs!) but the bottom line is she has to wrap her head and heart around letting that happen. And you either trust that she’s being honest about her readiness to go home, or you don’t. That’s sorta been the bottom line with the sister–and it’s more than a hop skip and a jump if she lies about it. The other piece is that delicate balance between caring for and caring about…..letting her be independent AND helping her get okay with being dependent for a piece of time. And that’s a guessing game…..a hope and a prayer game–and you get to let go and let G-d.

    <– still working on the letting go and letting G-d deal….there's that LOVE jazz for ya I guess!

    She'll do fine. And if she doesn't, you'll know in very short order that she's not.
    I was all prepared to hop a plane back if the latter was the case, but I had to hope and pray and get out of her way while checking and, checking up and cheering her on.
    I haven't had to get on a plane back there, yet.
    I'm still prepared to……and I still check in (thankyou for Texting phones!!) daily, multiple times.

    It's the loving thing to do.
    It's the right thing to do.
    And it's a difficult thing to do–cuz it requires the right amount of balance…..and I SUCK at balance.

    I'm hopeful you and Vi will be muchhhhhhhhh better at it than I am! LOL

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