The past couple of weeks have been a very stressful, trying and exhausting time around here. Vi’s mum is still in the hospital having definite ups and downs. Her heart has now become the main concern. Elevated enzymes, several possible minor heart attacks. Congestive heart failure with the fluid retention and all that goes with it, pneumonia twice. Doctors are dealing with the seemingly endless new complications as they arise. She is now wearing the nitro patch and suffering the head ache that goes with it, been there done that and know it is not nice.
Vi is putting on the brave face but I know she is becoming an emotional wreck as are her siblings. With the ups and downs in her health emotions are difficult to get control of. She seems to be improving and hopes go up only to have them dashed with in a day or two as a new complication sets in. Vi has seven siblings and while Nellie has made her own wishes be clearly known, some are having a more difficult time accepting that than are others.
I have written so many times I believe it is harder on the families and I can so clearly see that now. For Nellie it seems they are struggling with proper pain management and in that way her situation is so much worse than my own, that pain is a game changer. Yes, I have the pain but nothing compared is seems to hers.
I have through this come to realize their is in fact a group that does so often it seem unrecognized or maybe it is because that is the group I find myself in. You are seen as being one step back just being the son-in-law. As you don’t have the same “level of emotional investment” you are looked to for the strength and support, which is fair enough but difficult.
On a personal level beyond the obvious family ties, I suppose I am getting a reality check. I think it is likely selfish for me to be even thinking this way at this time but I see Nellie struggling with the heart failure, I see the doctors concern and think of how my own symptoms are far advanced beyond that. The age difference is the big factor for me.
Prayers please for Nellie, Vi and other children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and great great grand children
Dying mans daily journal 
will bee , and sending some flybyhuggs that way!
Bill, I can see how this situation would be too close to the bone…er, heart for you to deal with easily. Not only must you deal with that whole son-in-law-right-to-grieve issue, but you also can’t help by draw little connecting lines….Life aint’ easy, nor is death. Thanks for sharing with us.
Hi Bill .. I can see and know the family issues – with many thoughts for you all – Hilary
(((((( Bill ))))))) It’s tough–whether it’s your mom, you sister, your mother in law……none of it’s easy.
We’ll just keep praying and sending warmth and love that direction.