This morning I read a very good question from John. His question is to my post back May 20/08. I read my post from back then (please check it out, I really express my feelings on abuse) and I still feel the same and stand by every thing I said.
One of the points I was trying to make was: “NO MAN EVER HIT A WOMAN”. In my eyes that is a simple statement of fact. Now I can only imagine many reading this will be shaking their heads saying this guy is nuts. It happens all the time, men not only hit women they beat them. The difference here comes all in my definition of a man.
A real man would never abuse, hit or take advantage of a woman or anyone else for that matter. The problem is in this world there are a lot of males that because of mere age or size consider themselves to be men. I believe this is a popular misconception in society in general.
We have to realize it takes more than age or size to make a man. There are a lot of over aged juvenile delinquents out there posing as men that give the rest of us a bad name.
After my typical ramble I get to John’s question: “Why do you class abusers as only male?”
Straight answer is I don’t, although reading my post I can see how it may come off that way. At the time I was exchanging emails with a couple of female blogging friends that were suffering greatly at the hands of the “man” that loved them.
Reality is people are people. Now here I am speaking of the “western culture” of our society here in Canada and such. I might be able to google some statistics or something but I would think the number of abusive females in relationships is grossly under reported. I can only imagine it would be so very difficult for a man to report physical abuse from his female partner to the police. Our “macho” self image, feelings of embarrassment would prevent many from doing so. This is all so alien to my thinking I am having trouble coming up with an example. This is a ridiculous example as it just wouldn’t happen it isn’t in Vi’s nature any more than it is in mine. But if she chose to she could likely beat the heck out of me, simply because I could not hit a woman. I could push her away or try to grab onto her but I just couldn’t hit her. I have to wonder though how many males do have spouses that are violent. What is the guy to do. I have heard of the beaten wife syndrome could the opposite apply could there be a beaten husband syndrome? I can’t imagine the wouldn’t be.
Realistically, I KNOW female abusers more often use emotional abuse, which I have heard is more damaging than the physical. A bruise will heal more quickly than emotional scars.
Man. I have tired myself out here and need nap. I will try to write more later. For now I leave you with this question. Have you ever heard a wife go at her husband to the point you feel sorry for the guy. You know the bossing around, constant bitching, sarcastic remarks. Isn’t that abuse?
Thought just hit me. There are safe houses where women can go if abused. (I say wonderful to that, we need more). If in that same circumstance what is a male to do? Are there such options available to them? I don’t know.