Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Two certainties in life – death and taxes


I am not sure where I heard it or maybe read it or maybe even am just making it up, I don’t know. “There are only two certainties in life, death and taxes”. There may be other things but just off the top of my head I can’t think of any.

Let’s think about the taxes, We complain, grumble, curse and then ultimately pay them. The subject of taxes is wide open for discussion at any and every opportunity. We all have our opinions and love to share them. They are too high, unfair, are we getting the best bang for the buck…….. We all are so very ready, eager even to have our say on this subject. Now in reality I know  there are those that can evade or just not pay taxes. So what does that mean, there is only one certainty in life. No one can evade or avoid it. We are all heading to that same fate just on a different time line.

As it is something we do all have in common, why is it such a difficult almost taboo subject. We don’t want to talk about it, think about it. That is until it jumps up and hits us in the face. We don’t even want to think about it until it is forced on us with the illness or passing of a loved one or facing our own mortality. It is like we are caught off guard, we are shocked, stunned not knowing what to do, say or even at times think. We are caught totally unprepared. Hey this is a “life changing event” that we know is coming and yet are still caught off guard. Why?

A loved one passes and we are caught not having any idea of what their wishes may have been. We are forced into difficult, uncomfortable decision because we didn’t talk. Does your family know what your wishes would be? Do you know theirs? I pray all have long healthy lives but that time will come.

I think it is fear that keeps us silent. If facing our own passing it is fear of the unknown. We don’t know what lies ahead and beyond. I will be getting into my own thoughts on that.  If we are facing the passing of a loved one, it is fear again. Now I know many may disagree with this but I think it is fear at the thought of facing the future without this person.

We know what is facing each of us so how do we help prepare ourselves? I would love to hear your thoughts on this. I will be sharing mine

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8 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Two certainties in life – death and taxes

  1. hannahrosebailey says:

    I watched my father die from terminal cancer and he was sometimes just too proud to say how he felt about anything. Maybe he didnt want to acknowledge that he was dying and that he would be leaving me and the family not of his own wishes? I remember three weeks before he died saying he just wanted to go, i told him to let go. The day he passed away all he could say was “I know I wont make it until tomorrow, makesure you look after your mum”. There was no will or anything in place to say what his wishes were, this was hard and unfathomable when you believe your father to be the most intelligent person you know. I can only imagine that he was so scared that he just ignored the inevitable.

    Thank you for your postings it has given me a chance to see a positive, the openess that can come from such a certainity in life.

  2. bc says:

    I think it’s incredibly important to talk about it. To the people round you, to friends, to yourself I guess. To accept it as reality and keep it out in the open. My Mum and Dad are getting on. We often talk about what will happen when one or other of them dies, how we will look after the one who is left. My Mum has explained what she’d like for her funeral service, some of the hymns. When the time comes it will be good to know that we are making the arrangements in the way we’d like. She has also told me where she’d like me to sprinkle her ashes. Knowing these things will help me and my brother and my Dad, if he’s still around, when the time comes.

    We also joke about it – which is equally important. A couple of years ago, Mum and Dad took a look round the house and thought blimey what will the kids do if we die, we must make sure everything’s tidy so they can find everything. So they started with the airing cupboard. Well, I told my Mum, at least if one of you pegs it and we have to come down and stay, we’ll be able to find clean sheets.

    Cheers

    MTM

  3. bc says:

    Gak, making the arrangements the way she’d like… blimey I’m a numb nuts

  4. free penny press says:

    Last year when my Mother passed she had every thing in order(finances), Will, DNR etc.. I will forever be grateful to her for making those decisions ahead of time thus relieving her children of having to make them. That made me look at my own affairs so I refreshed my Will (took out the ex-hubby), made sure when I pass my family knows exactly what to do. No funeral, memorial or heavy grieving. Have a celebration in my honor (I would rather pay for that than a casket or urn) and embrace each new day knowing I loved them all…
    Ironic I wrote on a similar topic today…

  5. Noel says:

    My father had a mini heart attack the other day. Now he is fine, like nothing happened, but it was a harsh reminder that he, and all of us, is going to depart this earth one day. It is a certainty. But talking about it is not a popular thing to do…. I know. But we must, because it is true and it is shared by everyone. I try to think of it as a transition to the next life…. whatever that next life is. I try to think of all the people in my life who already passed (my grandparents, some friends) whom I hope to meet when I go. If not, I will fear it more and not talk or think about it. Thank you for sharing this post and your beautiful blog. I hope we continue to share thoughts for a long time, until we see each other on the other side. ;-).

  6. souldipper says:

    At the request of my mother, I picked up two free blank booklets from a Funeral Home. The booklets provide all the matters one needs to look after and decide. Mom and Dad each did their own. These were so incredibly helpful.

    Even though my 4 siblings and I really thought we knew exactly what mom and dad wanted, each of us were surprised over at least one direction. If we hadn’t had the booklets, it would have bothered us who were surprised. We would have believed things were happening that our parents would not want.

    Besides wishes for services, etc, the booklet had them list their holdings, their ancestral facts, and legal stuff that can be difficult to find.

    First Dad died; then mom. Both booklets settled any disagreements. I was so grateful to both of our parents for taking the time to do this. What a peace making gesture.

  7. Hilary says:

    Hi Bill .. Amy’s funeral booklets sound a good idea. In the 20th and 21st century we don’t discuss death .. yet in Victorian times it was revered and part of life.

    I never got to say goodbye to my father – though in one way I did, but not the way I’d have preferred. My mother now severely stroked I know her needs/wishes and her Will and finances are in order with my family … it’s just something however we never really discussed – we weren’t that close.

    It’s so good that you’re posting your thoughts here for those of us who are subscribed in to your blog to read .. thank you so much .. Cheers Hilary

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