Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Celebrating the life of a friend

This morning Vi and I were privileged to be able to join in and experience something totally unique to me anyway. I have written of the passing of blogging friend Meg, this morning was her funeral.If possible we would have attended in person. Europe is just to far for us to travel so we I suppose you would say we participated in a virtual funeral.

We were provided with the time the funeral would commence and a copy of what was Meg’s favorite piece of music. At the  appropriate time Vi and I were seated here at the computer, listened to the music. I have it playing in the back ground now as I am typing. We each said a short prayer and then talked about how Meg had in such a short time had become so dear to us. Of how she had helped us both in better dealing with our own situation. OK,our cups were just filled with coffee but we drank a toast to remember and celebrate a wonderful life.  Meg, you were a blessing to us both and to countless others I know. You are missed.

Meg had left specific instruction with her solicitor which included the message she left for me, which I included on a post. These instructions included that while I would be provided with details as to the funeral arrangements (time and Meg’s favorite song with would be played. It was asked that I keep that private not sharing it on the blog. I request I have honored. This morning though I received another email for said solicitor (Isobelle) stating Meg had left another message with her to only be opened on the day of her funeral.In it she gave me permission to talk about funeral as it was and how it affected me. I wasn’t prepared for that but affect me it did. I just need some time to really digest it all and will write about it soon.

I had written asking for an address to which I could have flowers sent and am touched by the reply that came for that:  “Meg had requested that there be no flowers today but that anyone who inquired about sending flowers be told either to donate them (or a sum of money) to any local hospice or, and I believe she is following your example here, to perform a random act of kindness in her memory.” For Vi and I that is what we will be doing.

I have a lot more to say on all of this. I am sure I have people looking at me and shaking there heads thinking thoughts like: “come on Bill, how can you mourn the loss of a stranger. You didn’t even know her. You exchanged emails and chatted once but that is it. Shake your head and get over it.” Now that is a valid point and a true statement about the limited contact. Now, let’s be clear. I am saddened at the loss of a friend. Am I devastated to the point of verging on depression of something?  No, but still saddened and left changed forever.

I don’t know how to explain this. Here on the blog it seems I have opened my heart welcoming in all. All of you my blogging friends are deeply cared about and carried around in this old heart of mine. You are all that special  to me. No one that leave a comment or even just visits the blog is just a name typed on the screen. I know there is a real live person behind that name and I do care about that person, YOU

9 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Celebrating the life of a friend

  1. Casey B says:

    Dear Bill,

    My heart goes out to you as you experience the type of loss with which I am intimately familiar. To an extent, I know your pain. I like the way in which you have chosen to memorialise Meg and your friendship with her. With your permission, I would like to write a post on your experience of mourning the loss of an online friend and the commemorative act that you performed to remember her.

    My thoughts are with you at this time,

    Hi Casey. I am sorry to hear of your loss and my heart goes out to you. I would be honor as I imagine would Meg should you chose to write a post.

  2. Lenore Diane says:

    “… left changed forever.” In my opinion, that sentiment speaks volumes. Reading the words of someone else can be life changing. You and Meg reminded me that a person is behind each and every word. Since then, I make a point to ‘see’ each person. Not everyone is touched by the same thing – not everyone is moved. But, it happens – and when that person is gone, it is sad.
    I am so glad you and Vi were able to celebrate Meg’s life during her funeral.

    Hi Lenore, thank you for stopping by and taking the time to leave the comment. This blogging experience has really changed me and for the better at that. Back when I first started this and I received a comment, a name on the screen was all I saw. I am not even sure how it happened but “those names on the screen” somehow became people to me. It has changed my life, in the store I no longer just see the sales clerk or cashier or whatever. I see a person there, doing their job to try and help me. Huh, I have to do a post on this.
    It is like some how my heart has become more open. I accept everyone at face value and I welcome all. i suppose maybe when I started I had that nervousness about “we all know the internet is full of weirdo’s”. It didn’t take me long at all to realize that just isn’t true. I have made some very dear friends right here. You are one of them

  3. Deric says:

    Wonderful to read; I’m still amazed at how friendships are created, as yours and Meg’s was, just through the typed word…. and I agree with your phrase! “I know there is a real live person behind that name and I do care about that person, YOU” 🙂

    Hi Deric, thank you for stopping by. I think one of the greatest life lessons I have learned is to recognize in all situations, the person i am dealing with is a person above all. Not the company they work for or anything else. It is another person doing their best to get through their day.

  4. JUANITA says:

    I am sorry about your friend Meg, she is at peace now. Hope the new year brings you a heap of happiness. Be sure and give Vi a special kiss at the New Year. Love Juanita

    Hi Juanita, it is so nice to see you here. I do appreciate the emails and hope you will keep them coming. All the very best to you and yours in the New Year.

  5. Betty says:

    It is obvious that you and Vi touched Meg in a very special way, as she did you, and those that followed her messages. Although my heart aches for her I am happy she is at peace now. Thank you Bill and Vi for being her friends. Her consideration in giving you the opportunity to celebrate her life today and to listen to her favorite music shows how much she loved you.

    Hi Betty, We are both grateful for having had Meg in our lives, even if it was for such a short time.

  6. souldipper says:

    Intimacy has a way of wrapping our hearts in a way that the entire world longs to be held.

    It doesn’t matter if it’s with or without “skin”, the depth cannot be denied.

    Love and Happy New Year to both Vi and you, Bill.

    Thank you and may 2012 be a wonderful year for you and yours.

  7. Erin's mum says:

    Dear Bill

    There is nothing weird or unusual about strangers becoming friends online, without ever having met in person. As the parent of two teenagers with chronic and potentially life-threatening (and definitely life-shortening) conditions I have spent many hours talking with, and learning from, other families. Some have become very special people in my life, to the point where they know more about me than my ‘real’ family. Some, like me, are busy caring for their family member and don’t have much time to be online. They will be there for me, though, if I ever need a word of support, or simply a listening ear.

    Recently I lost one of the most special online friends I have ever had, unexpectedly, after a long illness that we hoped she could beat, but knew it was unlikely. When it happened, it was a shock to all of us. I still go to her website every single day, knowing there won’t be another update from her, ever (her friends luckily had her password and could let the rest of us know). I know she is gone, and I miss her so much, every day, because of the very special way she had lived her life and lit up our lives as well.

    I am sad Meg was alone. I am on her side of the Atlantic – but it wouldn’t have made any difference, because I didn’t know about her, and I wonder – how many more people are there, home, lonely, with the knowledge that they are dying – alone?

    I am grateful to people like you, Bill, who are ‘opening the door’ to this important subject, a subject most people are still scared to approach.

    Wishing you, and your wife, strength, hope and the company and support of your friends and loved ones

    Hi Erin, welcome and thank you for your comment. Firstly, my prayers go to your children, to you and entire family. I am so glad you have a strong online support group, that must be such a benefit to you. Believe me I can so readily relate to the loss of an online friend.
    How many people are dying alone. My guess would be far, far more than we can image. So sad, have a partial post done on that and hope to have it up soon. Hope you will comment on it.

  8. […] us that Meg had gone on her final journey. (He shares the way in which he learned of this in the post on his […]

  9. […] us that Meg had gone on her final journey. (He shares the way in which he learned of this in the post on his […]

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