Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Life altering decisions


I have been very open about the fact that I have very strong Spiritual beliefs. I believe in God, I believe there is an after life. I lean heavily on that belief system, it helps and comforts me tremendously. I take time every day to thank God for all that I have in my life, for the fact that I still have life. Is my life a perfect picture of the way I would like it to be, NO. Daily I pray, I place myself in God’s hands asking that His will be done in all parts of my life and here I am. God has granted me extra time on this earth, time beyond anything the doctors thought I would have. Father, I thank you so much.

As best I can I am trying to use this time to grow as a person. It is a struggle as I seem to be a slow learner at somethings. I heard or read, “you are never a loser as long as you keep trying.” I believe that God with His infinite love and wisdom, knows we are but human. We have the strengths and the weaknesses that come with being human. I do not believe He expects us to be perfect but maybe He hopes at least we will keep trying to grow, to become better people.

When I talk about growing as a person, I am talking about growing spiritually and emotionally. Daily we are faced with decisions, some big, some small. As a decision is required we obviously have 2 or more options to choose from.How do we decide, do we take the easiest way or do we take what we know inside to be the right way. Do we take the high road or do we take the low road, just because it is easier? Do only major big decision affect our lives or can even the smallest play a part?

I can look back over my life and see so very many times, I took the easy way. At the time I could always justify it as: I am too tired, or I am too busy to deal with this.I will just take the easy way out “this time”. That is a very slippery slope we are all on. It is so very easy for: “I will take the easy way out, this time” to become out norm and somehow without even being aware of it become every time.

I and I alone am in charge of my life and I and I alone am responsible for my life. I and I alone am responsible for the inner self that will one day face Our Father in Heaven. When I do that, the condition of the inner me, the me that will face our Father is in my hands, NOW. We can excuse or rationalize things away here on earth.I don’t think those same excuses may seem  to be as valid at that time. What do you think?

I pray daily, often numerous times through the day. I have a regular routine when it comes to writing anything here. I pray for guidance, I pray for the words that may help someone, anyone. Prayers are answered.

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6 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Life altering decisions

  1. souldipper says:

    Somewhere, I picked up the concept that whenever I am grateful, I am fully in God’s Grace. That makes a lot of sense to me. A heart cannot be grateful and negative at the same time.

    When I have some relationship issue in my life, it loops through my brain like an overly used tape. The only way I can stop the monotonous, obsessive repetition is to grab hold of something for which I am authentically grateful. I can feel the release of tension in my body.

    Yes, I believe the person who said gratitude=grace.

    I asked a young man who is striving to change his life how he was doing. His answer, “My best.” What a great answer. May I be able to genuinely give the same response to the my world.

    Wow, can I ever relate to this, the looping of the tape running constantly though my brain. I have so very much in my life to be grateful for and yet even now if something I think if important hits me. It takes me a while to get my head back into focus.
    Doing your best is a motto to live life by
    thank you
    Bill

    • Chris says:

      Reading your entries is both heartbreaking and inspirational, I am perfectly fine health wise yet feel so down in the dumps about myself through a long term case of anxiety. Your writing makes me feel both ashamed to be feeling sorry for myself so much, and hopeful that my own future will be brighter, if only I can take one ounce of the strength of yourself.

      Hi Chris and welcome to the blog. I thank you for taking the time to leave a comment as you have. anxiety is hard to deal with and can require time and work to over come. If I have inspired or encouraged you in any way then I feel my mission is accomplished. I thank you
      Bill

  2. Irene Plaetinck says:

    Dear Bill,
    Doing what is right is never easy. We’re faced with those kinds of decisions a thousand times a day. So time and again it requires a conscious choice…it requires the intention(key word here!!)of doing right. We may not always make the right choice but the intent of our actions–or the lack thereof–is the key.
    Thinking and praying for you bunches, Wiseman.
    Irene

    Hi Irene, it is so nice to hear from you. You are right it is what is in our hearts, our intent that is the important thing. With that in mind we can only do our best, do what does seem right at the time.
    I hope all is well with you
    Bill

  3. Mel says:

    I’m responsible for my choices. I don’t know that I’m responsible for my life (here I go arguing…LOL..I seem to like to do that)–a whole lot of things happen in my life that I’m not in charge of, but I’m always always in charge of the choices I make when things happen to me in life. Case in point, I didn’t ask for some of this crap to unfold in my life–in some cases I’m well and truly the victim of the circumstances. I simply refuse to ‘play’ the victim in the circumstances–that serves no one.

    And I gotta tell ya….I mighta had some ‘good intentions’ to spare people from having to deal with stuff that I wouldn’t want anyone to have to deal with. But those good intentions didn’t pan out with good behavior. I lied and cheated them out of experiencing and deciding for themselves. Hind sight is 20/20. My best intentions still hurt people.
    WisePersonInMyLife tells me that my best intentions are a problem. Right actions first–motivation second. Probably me and my messed up selfish self, Bill–but it works well for me. See, I thought for a very long time that the world oughta gimme a break cuz I had really good intentions. WPIML assured me that the world doesn’t judge me by my intentions–they judge me by my actions.
    Rats and son of a gun he was right.
    NOT that it’s theirs TO judge.
    I had a bit of difficulty doing that myself.

    <– understated that. LOLOL

    (((((((((((( Bill ))))))))))))))))

    This growing spiritually and emotionally has become pretty effortless 'work'. But I think that's more about the Big Guy having my number than anything else.

    Hi Mel, wow can I ever relate to so much of what you are saying acting with good intentions so as to spare another, sigh. Isn’t it amazing how often the very best of intentions can some how back fire.
    I agree sometimes life can unfold before us in a way that is beyond out control. It is at times like this that our decision making really kicks into gear. How we deal with those issues can help to teach us some of those big life lessons. I can sure make it sound easy, I just wish it was so easy. While in “crisis” mode my rational thinking can sometimes take a vacation. We live with our decisions so right so not so much so. Learn from the experience and move on. Yup, I can make it sound easy.
    Isn’t it a real kick in the butt when we finally realize the world, life owes us nothing irregardless of anything.
    The world doesn’t revolve around me. It does take place around me and it is up to me to join in as I see fit, back to those decisoins.

  4. Noel says:

    Bill, I don’t think we ever stop growing and learning. During this time that we grow, every decision we make is either a decision to get closer or farther away from God. But it is up to us to determine if we are growing towards perfection, or towards sinfulness. God will let us know at the end how we did. God bless.

    Hi Noel, I thank you for this comment. I could not agree with you more.
    Bill

  5. alie says:

    Thank you, Bill. Your clarity & compassion & transparency extends a very real grace. You remind me of David Crowder’s “How He Loves”.

    hi alie, welcome to the blog and I thank you so much for your kind comment
    Bill

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