Dying man’s Daily Journal – Brain Tumor – Meningioma

It has rolled around to that time of the year again. Tomorrow I go for an MRI on my head. They keep calling me back every year as they are completely baffled. I am sure they have never before seen a head that is totally empty. Then along comes Bill.

I have a brain tumor. It is not actually growing on the brain but on the sack that surrounds and protects the brain. Obviously located between the skull and the brain. As it grows it presses on and effects that specific part of the brain. Mine is located in the front on the right and I have been told it is about the size of a large walnut.

The location of mine presses on the area of the brain that affects judgement, compulsively, ability to make decisions, can cause loose of concentration and cause wicked head aches. It can basically change your entire personality. It can produce memory blocks, huh, says memory guy. I read that list and wonder wow does that sound like anyone I know. YUP.

In many ways it is very easy to deal with. Memory lose, who knows what you have forgotten. Affects judgement, who is to know. Generally, it is something I am blissfully unaware of the majority of time. When those head aches hit though, it is a different story, they are ouchie.

So I go for the MRI. I don’t actually see the neurologist until May. So unless there is a real change I will hear nothing of the results until that time. It is sort of a situation where no news is good news.

As I sit here writing this it almost seems strange to me. I can only image that having a brain tumor would be a pretty big deal in the lives of most. I sit here and realize with my heart issues, somehow the tumor has been place on the back burner of life.


19 Responses to Dying man’s Daily Journal – Brain Tumor – Meningioma

  1. Freda says:

    All the best with the MRI – they are not easy examinations in themselves. Thank you for sharing your journey, it helps to put life into perspective for many of us.

    Hi Freda, thank you for the good wishes.Really seeing things and being able to put them in proper prospective is a true blessing

  2. Henri says:

    I just heard on the news today regarding a study into stem cell research.

    Hi Henri, I saw it on the news also and have it on my must be discussed list for when I see the cardiologist next month. Appreciate the site reference.

  3. souldipper says:

    Thanks to the endless supply of Love from our Creator, I’m sending your body and you an abundance of healing energy, Bill. I keep hearing it works! 🙂

    I thank you so much for the gift of the healing energy, I am sure it works

  4. jel says:

    stop by to howDY! 🙂

    Howdy right back to you my friend

  5. Betty says:

    Glad to hear the tumor is being monitored regularly, as it should be.

    Wishing you good results.

    Thank you Betty. I am sure it will be fine.

  6. Mel says:

    Yup–seems that wordpress ate my reply yesterday.

    Not an all bad thing.
    I’ll refrain from ‘rawrrrr-ing’.

    (((((((((( Bill ))))))))))))

    I do hope for good things with the MRI.

    for wordpress to eat it, it must have been tasty. Thank you for the good wishes

  7. I had a crainiotomy for a meniginoma (left temporal lobe) almost 10 years ago. MRI every year until this last. Cleared until further notice. My thoughts are with you. : )

    Hello and welcome to the blog, I thank you for your comment. I haD the MRI yesterday. doctor will have the results in 10-14 days. I am very happy to hear you were able to so successfully have yours dealt with. With my prevailing heart condition, to this point anyway surgery has not been considered an option. Have to see what the doctor says this time around.
    Thanks for stopping by and I hope to hear from you again.

  8. I hope all goes well with your MRI. I remember all to well the time while living with the tumor and trying to find out what it was and what needed or even if something could be done. My thoughts are with you : )

  9. Julie says:

    Hi, I was just diagnosed with a meningioma tumor yesterday,which I am have been relieved about. The doctors were certain they would have to tell me I had MS. While I dont know much this seems treatable and something I can live with. I have 4 children I can’t be down.. The tumor is in my optic canal, I have a cat scan Monday and see the neurosurgeon Thursday.. I am hoping for even more good news.. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.. I am sorry you have to deal with this and heart problems. My prayers are with you and your family.. I will be reading your blog regularly.. Please let me know if I can help in any way!God Bless you..

    Hi Julie and welcome to the blog. I thank you for taking the time to leave me a comment. It is good news about the not having MS.. Now please understand I am not a doctor and can speak only from my own experiences. A meningioma is as I understand is treatable or managable as in my case. My prayers are with you when you meet with the neurosurgion, please let me know what it is they decide to do. Ask if a gamma knife is a option.
    I am reluctant to say too much until you have seen the doctors as I can only image the location of the tumor affects patients differently.
    Mine is about the size of a large walnut and is located about 2 inches above my right eye brow. It is applying pressure to the part of my brain that affects judgement, compulsivenes. I would like to chat more with you on it all. Please keep in touch and let me know how you make out with the doctors.

    • saliha tajhal says:

      hello dear, i have only a tiny meningioma in the base of my brains in an impossible point to operate. so far 2 MRI’s every six months and hasn’t grown further then 12 mm.

      I am living my life as best as i can as though i will live forever yet quiet releived with the thought of how my ‘end’ may be assured. first to lose movement of the face, neck and the trunk and the arm and the leg of the opposite side of the body.

      I don’t mean to be grim but if my diafram goes with the trunk first, i do not wish to be kept alive with artificial breathing mechanisms.
      so i am exploring my legal rights for being given a sweet goodbye dignified. I am not quiet sure how my life insurance guys would accept refusal of treatment that could be considered passive euthoneisia
      ofcourse i have yet no idea about extreme head aches as well as I have a fabulous life to look forward to. ..and thinking about you, just incase your judgement acts compulsively!! oh dear, Oh dear!! my heart is very much with you! i pray for your recovery and mine to stay put as it is as long as i need to stay on this earth.
      warm regards from sydney to a very brave man.

      Hi Sali and welcome to the blog. My heart and prayers go out to you my friend. Your tumor differs from mine, so very much more difficult to deal with. It may be inoperable today but with ever increasing advances in medicine, who knows what tomorrow may bring.
      I can understand your dread of the thought of breathing mechanism. That is one of my greatest fears, a functioning mind trapped inside a “dead” body. I would like to chat more with you about all of this. I hope you don’t mind but tomorrow I hope to get an email off to you.

  10. saliha tajhal says:

    thanks Bill
    I am putting aside the thoughts of tomarrows, and painting, drawing wonderful art works (I did not think i had it in me!), singing, playing my piano, yoga, some gentle exersizes, and dieting with the healthiest foods.. i am so highly inspired to do things – possibly all at once!

    A very creative explosion!

    just started to knit a jumper with a difficult pattern.. thinking of studying algebra, trigonometry, geometry.. i am exhausted with the adrenalin rush of it all and carrying my aching body so carefully, taking it for gentle walks. my head aches dull, my mind speeding, sometimes i loose consciousness that feels like as if i am taken to some place else.

    couple of baby birds fell off their nests right in front of me and im feeding them every hour. it is delightful to stick my fingers into their big beeks to push the food down. their eyes were closed in the beginning but now they are looking at me and thinking that i am their mommy. Veery hungry things!!

    i took myself to shopping yesterday and deeply got depressed for not being able buy some of those lovely clothes. i am beginning to look like a bag lady. depression is just behind the door.
    so sorry to pour my wows to you..i rarely do that.
    I hope you are holding well and i wish you a wonderful holidays coming soon.

    sending me an email sounds good. I think i’d enjoy that. thanks already. cheers, sali

    Hi Sali,nice to hear from you again. sorry I am a little slow in replying. Haven’t been feeling to spry the past couple of days.
    Good for you in taking on the new attitude, doing a those things. I am proud of you, keep it up.
    Hey now, clothes don’t make the person, the person makes the clothes. Depression digs a big hole that we seem to fall into, so very much harder to get out. Please hang in there with positive thoughts. Yeh, I know positive thoughts, when you have a brain tumor. It is hard but can be done, I work at it daily.
    Never feel bad about venting or opening your heart and venting here. You are welcome to vent, share thoughts or just visit any time at all.
    Email is on its way in just a few minutes.

  11. saliha tajhal says:

    Hi Bill
    its me sali again. i have put myself on atkins diet for the last three months. i am eating much better and regular and i have lost nine kilos. town to 71 kg.. and more to go. as i am only 1.5 meter tall i need to remove all the extra weight first before i can be sure of what my meningioma symtoms are. at first i felt as if i was an addict to something so much powerful then myself – like alcohol or heroin – not that i would know what that would really be like.. but i feel as if if i have the smallest bit of sugar or bad carbohidrate i could all go back to it just like an addict.

    so no more breads, pastas, sweeteners etc. , my addictions are under control even in the evenings when i am alone, at last i am not taking refuge in food. that meant a lot of withdrowing symptoms head aches etc. while fighting depression. i need to know what makes my head aches first..

    i had to make this commitment to myself and stick to it. that means some home yoga when i wake up, long walks after a good breakfast down to the beach and swim and catch the bus back or walk some of the way back up the hill.
    (on television the moment they advertise food i change the channel)
    how much do you weigh? can you withstand a heart replacement? if you found a donor that is?

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    Welcome to the blog and I thank you for your kind words. A professional blogger I am not. I just write the thoughts as they come to mind and up goes the post. My simple hope is to help or inspire someone anyone out there

  14. María says:

    I am 29 years old, un February 12 l had a surgery, my brain tumor was located in the back con the left si de, and ir was as big as a apricot.The surgery took over 14 hours. I recovered really quick, but l still cant believe l am still alive and have no consecuences.

    Hello Maria and welcome to my blog. I am so very, very happy to hear of your successful surgery and quick recovery. Would you consider sharing more of you story?
    My tumour is right frontal lobe and the size of a large walnut.
    So nice to hear from you.

  15. CAPT LINO XUEREB (retrd) says:

    My wife had an ATypical Meningioma – first surgery in 2007 all went well but from 2012 till today she underwent 4 brain surgeries and ne Gamma Knife. Now from her last operation her meningioma exitied the skull also. Our Oncologist tells me that the symptoms will be – immobility -loss of short memory headaches – tiredness – sleeping practically all day – coma and then she will leave me for ever after 43 years of Marriage Bond. Very hard to live with and I wish from here all experiencing some kind of brain problems to be healed and not to go through what we are going through. May God Bless You All. I will pray for you all.

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