An Irish Blessing:
May the very best day in you past, be not nearly as good as the worst day in your future
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, ‘Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!’
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, ‘Never mind, I found one.’
OK. I changed the name from Bill to Paddy, Bill doesn’t sound that Irish now does it.