Dying Man’s Daily Journal – death in the family

Yesterday was really a day of mixed feelings for me. Really the good, the bad, the hard providing a thought-provoking eye opener of a day.

It was really brought to my attention that I am not always that good in keeping in touch with family, cousins etc. I mean here. Last week I learned that Jack the husband of my cousin Faye had passed back in May. Now Faye is a “couple” of years older than myself. When I was quite young she married, moved away with here new husband starting their lives together and with that sort of dropped off my personal radar screen. Now obviously I have always known I had a cousin Faye out there somewhere and could have easily tracked her down and got in touch with her over the years but I didn’t. I was busy with my life as she was with her’s and our paths just never crossed. Some how she became like a distant memory for way back almost 50 years ago.

Well that is until about 3 years ago. I must have been feeling sentimental or something. Through other cousins I was able to get her phone number and gave her a call and we had a very nice little chat. Now Faye lives about a 1 1/2 hour drive from the city here but they did come here to Winnipeg on a fairly regular basis and within a few weeks they graced us with a visit followed by 2 or 3 more visits over the next year of so. Basically, they stopped by for coffee either on the way into or back out of the city. Each visit was very short but a very enjoyable time getting to know this long-lost cousin of mine, a very nice lady indeed. After each visit as they were leaving there were always the promises of more visits and invitations for Vi and I to travel out to Lac Du Bonnet to visit them. Vi and I actually planned the trip a time or two but somehow it was always put off. Can’t remember why. Likely I wasn’t feeling well at the time of something.

Suddenly about a year ago or so their visits for coffee and chat just stopped. Previous visits had been sporadic with no set schedule or anything. Honestly at the time I never gave it much thought just assuming one of these days back they will come. I thought of phoning a couple of times but again somehow never got around to doing it. It turns out that was when his cancer became more aggressive I suppose is the word to use. It had reached the point where it was too difficult for them to travel other than for necessary doctors appointment etc.. huh, I realize I still don’t know the date, just that he passed over in May.

Last week cousin Marge called me to tell me about it, she had just learned of it herself. I called my brother Eric and the three of us planned a trip to go and visit this long-lost cousin or ours. It was yesterday that we went. Faye served a wonderful lunch and we had a great visit. Only briefly did we talk of his passing and it was hard watching her trying to maintain her composure as she talked of the passing of her husband of almost 50 years.

We left with many promises to keep in closer contact which I AM going to do my best to do. I invited her to come in and stay with us for a few days as we will be having another big family get together this upcoming weekend. None brothers or sisters live anywhere near this area but there will be an Aunt and cousins galore. I truly do hope she comes.

Our little visit helped me put some of my issues into a little better prospective. Yesterday really pointed that out to me. My heart failure causes me to be short of breath a lot of the time particularly when it is hot and humid. Much of our visit was outside on their beautiful shaded deck. Yesterday was hot and I was huffing and puffing or I should say I am sure I must have been. It was just somehow sitting with Faye and knowing the pain she was feeling made my feelings of being a little short of breath seem so inconsequential I never even really noticed.

Faye I really do hope to see you this weekend.I ask all for prayers please for my dear cousin.

I urge any that may read this to give some serious thought to the contact you are maintaining with your family. Are you putting off visits thinking well there will always be tomorrow?


2 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – death in the family

  1. Mel says:

    (((((((( Bill ))))))))))

    It’s hard, isn’t it.
    It’s good when we reconnect and so easy to let up on it. I don’t have the family to connect with, not that I know of. And truly, not that I have the desire TO connect with.
    I do surround myself with people that matter to me, frequently and with clear statements about what their presence in my life means to me.

    There’s empty places…people who’ve moved on and won’t avail themselves to me. I love them no less, but it’s hard to not want to disrespect them and go for what I want in this.
    I won’t, of course–it’s just hard to not WANT to.

    Isn’t it amazing how perspective happens at the most opportune times…..I’m glad for your visit, sorry for the loss and send prayers to you and Vi (always) and to Faye.

    Mel,I am sure you don’t realize it but I consider you to be like family to me. You are right it is so very hard sometimes to stay connected with all we would like to. I sometimes beat myself up over that but then think, hmm, phone lines work in both directions.

  2. Cat says:

    My thoughts and prayers are with Faye. I’m glad that you’ve reconnected with her and I hope you maintain the connection.

    I have a blog friend who lives in Lac du Bonnet! Actually, I think it was through her blog that I found yours.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: