Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Prayers for families please

Haven’t been feeling to spry this past bit. I think it has to do with changing some medications causing a lot of wonkie head. Plus heat, high humidity and my breathing don’t do well together.

I do know for a fact that there are some that just pop by the blog to check if I have indeed posted anything new. That is great, very flattering to me, I suppose and I thank you. I encourage all though to check the comments left also. More often than not there is far more wisdom left in those messages than I could ever hope to possess.

I am tired today so I suppose I am cheating by copying a comment and my reply to it and then using it as a post. What can I say to that other than, oh well. Please read the comment and I ask for prayers please.

Dear Bill,
I stumbled across your blog looking for a phrase that I had posted on my FaceBook: “When we truly love it is never lost. It is only after death that the depth of the bond is truly felt, and our loved one becomes more a part of us than was possible in life.”
Oriental Tradition
This phrase ment alot to considering I lost my fiance on July 2, 2010. I guess I have been searching for reasoning to his death..sudden heart attack. We are both 46 yrs old. I have so many mixed emotions right now. I’m hurt, sad, mad, lonely and a little depressed.
After browsing your blog a little, I decided to start at the begining. Your first amazing thought that encourages me is the one associating dying with the birth of a baby. How great of an explanation to why we fear death. Of course fearing death and facing the troubles of being the one left behind are two different issues, I’m hoping to find a little peace of mind through your blog. I plan on reading more of it each day. I truly believe, from what I’ve read so far that you are a very spiritual man and this last post probably fits in somewhere down the line. I wish you the best and hope that the remaining days of your life are not painful days but blessed ones.

Hello Lou Lou and welcome to the blog. I am so very sorry to hear of the passing of your fiance, you are in my heart thoughts and prayers. Your comment is full of much wisdom and I thank you for sharing it with us. You are so right on when you say the fear of facing death and facing the troubles of being the one left behind are two different issues. Personally, I believe it is many times harder on the loved ones left behind trying to pick up the pieces of their lives and carry on. When someone of great significance in our lives dies, our own lives going forward will never be the same again. It can’t be the same as someone that played a big part in our lives is gone. Now, that in itself is a very sobering thought. With your fiancee having passed so very recently I can only image that this well may be how you see the world at this moment. At this time so soon after his passing, it is alright to feel that way. You must grieve and that can take time. How we deal with our grief is a very personal in individual thing. We each do it in our own way and in our own time.
I hope though that you will remember this one thing as you go through and learn to deal with your feelings. It is true you life will never be exactly the same but with time it can become just as good, different but just as good. It is very possibly too early in your grieving process to even consider such a thought and that I can understand. Maybe just bury that thought way back in your mind until the time is right.
You are in such a very difficult time, I encourage you to reach out to family, friends, a minister. Lean on them for support in this time of need. It is not a sign of weakness to reach out, it is a sign of being human. “I’m hurt, sad, mad, lonely and a little depressed”. You can face a whole range of emotions you may at times feel angry at your fiancee for leaving you, at God for taking him from you and that is OK you are human.
I feel honored that you chose to share you feelings with me here on the blog and I do welcome you to return anytime you like and as often as you like. This is a very supportive, understanding and loving spot. you are welcome to return to rant and rave, to cry, to grieve in the way that you need to at the moment. Understanding and support will be here for you.
You are the number one priority right now, take care of yourself in healthy ways.
I am so touched by your message, I hope you don’t mind I am going to email you directly


3 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Prayers for families please

  1. starlaschat says:

    Both the post and the comment were so full of thought. It’s so nice Bill that you have created this place for honest discussion. Thank You. Sorry to hear your feeling wonkie headed. The Summer heat sure can be difficult when your not feeling well. The cool Fall, will be right around the corner. Amazing how time fly’s some times.

    Thank you for your kind words. Summer is a season I have most loved that is until the past few years, make the best of what ever the weather is, is all we can do.

  2. Cat says:

    A wonderful response, Bill, and so true. My prayers are with Lou Lou and with all who are mourning the loss of a loved one, and also with you in the hopes that you’ll be feeling more spry again very soon!

    Thank you Cat.

  3. Mel says:

    ((((( Lou Lou ))))))

    *sending prayers*
    What a hard loss. No doubt there’s a mish-mosh of emotions going on for you–there’s a lot going on here TO have feelings about. I’m with Bill–the good news is you’re allowing yourself to feel them.

    Today it’s huge. And it’ll remain huge for some time. Whole lives were changed by the unexpected loss, undoubtedly for a lifetime.
    But it will get different..once the heart has done what it needs to do for itself to move past this painfilled moment…. But for today–let yourself be where you are, eh?
    And know people are praying for you and thinking of you…..

    *sending more hugs and prayers*

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