Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Dancing at the party of life


Have been keeping a pretty low profile this past while, not doing much at all. Here in southern Manitoba it has been an exceptionally wet spring. Quite heavy rain days seem to have become the norm which is causing problems in every direction. Here in the city many basements have flooded including my brother Eric’s. There has been so much rain the ground is just saturated and can’t take in any more, which is causing overland flooding. I really feel sorry for the farmers. It is impossible to plant a crop on a field that is under a couple of inches of water. I am not sure if ironic is the right word to be using but the northern part of our province is heavily forested. It is so dry up there that massive forest fires are burning.

All the moisture everywhere with the relative warmth of the summer days is causing high humidity in the air. For many this aggravates breathing issues and seems to just suck the energy right out of you. Explains my not being to active. I have heard the expression, the air is just thick. Now usually when I have heard it, it is referring to tension or something in a room. High humidity make the air feel thick as you are trying to breathe it in.

Obviously, I have experienced this in the past and admit to having had periods of woe is me. Unless you have had breathing issues it is hard to imagine how it does suck the energy out of you. It is almost like with each breath you aren’t getting quite enough air.

My attitude has changed over time. There is no sign of any “woe is me” anywhere. It has been replaced with a really profound sense of gratitude that I am in fact still breathing.

As i sit here I think of all the times in my past when I allowed the “woe is me” to take over my mind-set. Times when life wasn’t going my way. Thoughts like, “why did this have to happen” or “why did he/she have to do that”, “It is just not fair, why did this have to happen to me, woe is me”. I would mope, wallow around until some how things seemed to get back on track and again be going “MY” way and only then was I happy again. As I think about it really how selfish is that? Getting upset, sulking when you don’t get you way. It is sad when I think of all that wasted time. I read some where that time is like money in that you only get to spend it once. When it is gone it is gone. How wisely we spend it is up to us. huh, so much of mine wasn’t spent in the wisest way and that I do regret.

I can’t get back the time I wasted in the past but I can be sure I don’t waste anymore going forward.

There is another saying something to the effect: Life may not be the party we had hoped for but we might as well dance while we are here.  Huh, something just hit me and I actually got up and danced. Now since I am alone here at the moment I really laid down a few fancy steps and moves, let me tell you.lol. “Bill” dancing is a style of its own.lol. Give it a try, stand up right now and just let it loose, I dare you. OK, maybe don’t over do it, my little dance has me huffing and puffing but it was worth it.

LIFE TAKES EFFORT BUT IT IS SO WORTH IT.

Why do I write this blog? One part of the reason is to I hope help others realize the priorities in life. To realize how truly wonderful life is.Of how we take so much of it for granted. I urge all to take  a look at your own life, maybe certain parts are “upside down” right now. Don’t focus on the areas of life that aren’t going our way. Look at the big picture of your life, you will if you are honest see much to be grateful for. If your life is upside down and you just can’t see anything to be grateful for. I challenge you to look again, with this thought in mind.I am grateful for just being able to breath. Would you like to trade places and then look back at your life as it is?

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12 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Dancing at the party of life

  1. starlaschat says:

    Sitting here with a big smile thinking of you dancing. How wonderful a sight that must be! I take your challenge kicking of my tinny runners socks perfect for kitchen dancing. Now I need to find some good music :+)

    We have been getting a lot of rain here as well. It’s not uncommon to see a big truck stuck in the mud in fact we got Navar’s mom’s truck stuck in the mud had to call a tow struck. Today the suns out drying the muck.

    Gotta go now, I need to find some dancing music. :+)

    Hi, I am not quite sure the sight of me dancing would qualify as a wonderful sight. lol But I enjoyed the moment and really that is all that counts. We have had enough rain for a while, hoping for sunny skies for the next 2 or 3 weeks.
    Bill

  2. souldipper says:

    June 29, 2010

    Dear Diary,

    Today I danced!

    Good for you, it seems to lighten the soul.

  3. Hey Bill, how are you doing?
    death is fact that can’t be ignored, for it gives meaning to what we do in life. It is certain that life will come to an end, therefore, there are things that must be done, actions that need to be put in place. Goals that need to be achieved, before the referees whistle signals the end of the ball game.

    But I take exception to the the term a dying man’s journal, for what are we, yes we, all of us but dying men? Does not each and every day that we wake up to bring us all closer to death?

    Kashif

    p.s. have you ever come across the Qur’an?

    hello Kashif and welcome to my blog. You are right about all of us being in the process of dying, some just at a little faster pace than others and nothing can change that. All we can change is how we spend what ever time it maybe that we do have on this earth.
    I have heard of the Qur’an and know it to be a great book but have never actually seen or read one. Perhaps you would be willing to share with us the teachings as they relate to death and dying.
    Thanks for stopping by and hope to hear more from you.
    Bill

  4. dalamory says:

    Thanks so much for your encouraging post. I love the idea of you getting up and doing a few fancy dance moves. Have you ever read/seen “Tuesdays with Morrie” – it’s well worth a look, and you seem to have a similar outlook. Every Blessing

    hello dalamory, thank you and welcome to the blog. Yes a couple of years ago I came accross that book and I do think it is wonderful a must read for everyone.
    Bill

  5. Cocorue says:

    hey Bill,
    we have not visited as we couldn’t and not because we didn’t want to. we’re glad you fine and we loooove the idea of you dancing. mumster looooves dancing and just did the jive in honour of you!

    enjoy the present Bill as we do not know what tomorrow will bring. think of us thinking and smiling with you when you dance again

    chikisses
    coco& tiffy

    hi, it is very nice to see you back. Enjoy the present, right on.

  6. babychaos says:

    Thank you for that. A lot of my life is the wrong way up at the moment and it’s one of those situations where the solution is in the hands of others and the only thing I can control is how I react. It’s nothing big, the world’s not going to stop turning but I’ve been struggling and your recent posts have been keeping my feet on the ground nicely.

    Thanks.

    Cheers

    BC

    Hi BC. It is nice to hear from you my friend. Sometimes keeping our feet on the ground and plugging away is about all we can do in some situations. While keeping in mind though that what ever is the outcome of the situation, it will be what is best for us in the long run.
    I read both your 1st and 3rd stories on line and enjoyed both. Going back to read #2. Good job, keep at it.
    Bill

  7. Mel says:

    Broken toe and all–I managed a bit of a wiggle. LOL Can’t rightly call it dancin’, but it’s the effort and the desire that counts.

    I’ve had a wee thing to remind me of what’s important, today. “Whatever’s in front of me for the grabbing.” would be my answer. Lots of playtime, less taking life so darn seriously…more hugs and more ‘I love you’s. But seriously, ain’t that how it oughta be?

    If the lessons in the weblog are about living–then I’m all for the title…it gets people to stop and take a look. And you know me–. I do agree that the ‘woe is me’ is a waste, but I also know how human it is. We grieve. We even go into self pity (yeah yeah…I do!). But what we learn is ‘how important is it in the bigger scheme of things’. It took what it took to get me to look at that. (and you gotta know it took me a whole LOT…LOL) But when you get there–things look different. Literally…and figuratively.
    It’s a cool place to get to. It’s a place that some only find when their back’s to the wall…and a place that others, sadly, never venture to.

    I’m glad for whatever it took for you to get to this place–it’s a wonderful place to experience. You get to boogie even if people ARE watching! 😉

    hi Mel, excellent message, broken toe and all. Now, Mel exactly what were you up to when you broke your toe something wild and crazy I imagine. You wrote” “if just one person gets something from whatever I drop onto the page, then it’s worth it.” Mel, with your writing on your own blog and others such as you do here you are achieving your goal many times over, you have and are continuing to help literally thousands. I admire and respect you my friend and do hope you will keep up your fine efforts for many years to come.
    I wish I could have seen you in the ducky socks.
    Bill

  8. Mel says:

    (((((((( Bill )))))))))

    <– drive-by huggin'. 😀

    Hugs are always appreciated

  9. Lori says:

    I’ve been reading for a while, and I have not posted.
    I just wanted to say that this post rang true for me a lot.
    After watching my husband slip away from leukemia 4 years ago…I saw him go from a man who felt sorry for himself (while he was healthy), always focused on what he didn’t have, ignoring the things that he did have that were right in front of him.
    When we got the news that the chemo was no longer working and it was only a matter of time, I saw him completely change. He only lived one month after the news, and in that month he appreciated me, our children, our home. He no longer compared what we had to what others had. The noise the children made in the morning was no longer an irritating “alarm” rousing us from slumber, but music to his hears.
    All the little things suddenly became a big big deal…and all the big big deals, suddenly became little things. I learned that lesson from him and I carry it with me forever. Take nothing for granted, and don’t sweat the small stuff (and it’s all small stuff) 🙂
    Thanks, Bill, for having the courage to share your thoughts.

    Hi Lori, it it nice to hear from you, you have been missed. I am so sorry to hear of your husbands passing, I am sure he was a wonderful man. I am so very glad he was able to achieve that level of I suppose you would call it clarity. Being able to see life for what it truly is taking nothing for granted and appreciating all. His story as you have shared it is a wonderul lesson to us all and I do thank you for it. I ask your opinion, why is it we never seem to see our lives for what they are, realize how wonderful it is until we are on the brink of loosing it?

    • Lori says:

      “why is it we never seem to see our lives for what they are, realize how wonderful it is until we are on the brink of loosing it?”

      I wish I could formulate some sort of sensible opinion on that. I’ve tried a couple times now to type out some sort idea..and I just can’t.
      I wonder if it’s the absence of everyday worries. When you realize that it’s no longer important whether or not your front lawn looks immaculate (for example), or whether or not your co-worker likes you, that if you pay your phone bill a couple weeks late, what does it really matter in the long run anyway. It frees up your mind to really take things in and see all the things you’ve been missing. It seemed to me, from watching my husband, that he went back to a child-like state…..the world was full of wonder to him again. It almost seems to be human nature to take things for granted.
      I wouldn’t call myself religious at all. I’ve read the bible and found it to be silly (please no one take offense..I mean none).I am however spiritual, and I do believe that life goes on when we leave these bodies behind. I think as we come closer to death, we begin to lose touch with our human side, and come closer to our spirit. We are letting go. Our human minds shut down and our spirit mind opens back up to prepare us for a transition to a world where different things are important than what we find important here. Does that make sense? lol. I’m not articulating well this morning.

  10. Cat says:

    I am very familiar with high humidity since I live in Austin! Our summers are always hot and humid, but the humidity this year has been even worse than usual. We’ve had an unusual amount of rain here the past week due to the hurricane in the Gulf, and I was just mentioning to someone yesterday about how hard it is to just breathe when you step outside. It’s like being underwater.

    I hope the humidity eases up in your neck of the woods soon! Maybe it will move north and help put out those fires!

    the humidity makes the air seem thick. You are so right, it we could get the rain to move north it would be a blessing for all

  11. Nic says:

    Bill, it’s very funny, I totally relate to you and all these comments. While I don’t generally feel sorry for myself sometimes I do have my moments of a private pity party where I allow myself to grieve what I have lost. I guess this is supposed to be healthy, but what generally pulls me out of it is friends and family who are in similar situations or worse. I have a few cousins with MS and somehow in the midst of their struggles I can speak openly with them about my illnesses make me feel some days and it brings me great comfort. Over the past few years I’ve had a lot of young friends die and that has hit me hard and sometimes no matter how settled, which I am most days I have my periods of struggle with my situation I guess that’s just human right? Just last summer I was able to plan out some final wishes and start drafting my will, something I never thought I’d have to do yet. But I have a few friends who are very ill and we comfort each other about being frank about our troubles and our thoughts about quality of life and facing terminal illness. I like to think that in some ways these illnesses are sometimes a blessing in disguise. Making us more compassionate and empathetic people — bringing comfort to others in their own situations because we can speak openly about our feelings about death, afterlife, and how to live with what we have. Until I was no longer able to take a shower on my own without oxygen or not being able to stand up, I took a lot of things for granted, though that was temporarily, it taught me alot about life and what’s important in it. There’s a lot of days that are a struggle, but I’m never sorry to wake up and face another day, even if its tiring to do so.
    I do not do well in humidity either or any extremes of temperature so my thoughts are with you. I know how exhausting it is to function in that and I hope it lets up soon. Thank you for being so open.

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