Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Dealing with Death

I have started something I have never done before. I have started to go back and read my own posts. What can I say other than, do I ever like to ramble. I am going to pick out posts or bits of posts from the  past that have special meaning to me. I will be republishing them.  I have done over 800 posts, I have a hard time believing that but that is what the stats say. I am sure not many have gone way back when to read. In doing this it also allows me to see how I have evolved over the time of the blog.

This is from way back when must have been the 10th or 12th post.

Now let me make my thoughts on this very clear. Sympathy and pity have NO PLACE in my world. Sadness, OK. Sadness, only because we will be parted temporarily and will naturally miss each other.

With my memory these days I am never sure if I read this somewhere or if this is my own thought. I just know this helped me tremendously when my mother passed. I loved my mother dearly and still do and always will. I hope I can find the right words to really express what I am trying to say.

Use your imagination and try to picture this scenario. By some chance your loved one get a chance to go on a fantastic voyage, say a year long cruise around the world. You know your loved one would have a fantastic time, the time of their lives. Lets further suppose, the trip has already been booked and nothing short of a miracle will stop them from going. How would you react?

Would you be there, being lovingly supportive in their preparations for the voyage. Hoping and praying only for their happiness and well being. It is a given that you will miss them. You are comforted knowing you will see them again and out of love, make the choise to put their well being ahead of our own. I mean it would be so unfair to hope or think they should miss out on such an opportunity just because we will miss them. We joyously help in their preparations spending quality, happy time before they leave. Tearful good byes are said hugs are exchanged and off they go.

Or, Even though you know the trip is booked and that they will have a wonderful time, do you react differently. Even selfishly, out of our own fear of missing them and being lonely, we feel miserable. We cry and maybe even try to talk them into canceling the trip, “you can’t go I will miss you to much”.

Through our own selfishness we want to deny them the trip the joy, the happiness that would come with it. They are leaving anyway, but we have turned what could have been a love filled farewell into a time of personal sorrow for ourselves.We realize our loved one may be nervous, apprehensive and a little scared, this is indeed something new to them a journey never taken before.It reaches the point of no turning back, the voyage must begin,  their departure is imminent. Can we make  it a loving, “see you later” or must it be a painful, tear filled goodbye.

I used these thoughts on the passing of my dearly loved mother. I wished her joy and happiness until we meet again. Did that remove all the sadness no, but it definitely helped. With her passing my mother went on a wonderful voyage and I do miss her but I know I will be seeing her again

2 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Dealing with Death

  1. Irene says:

    Dear Bill,
    Of course, anybody’s or anything’s passing (even your wee small birdie)is a sad occasion. However, as I said before, we can’t know joy without getting real familiar with sorrow. Somebody much smarter and more eloquent than me said: Sorrows are our best educators. A person can see further through a tear than through a telescope.
    Thinking of you often. Praying for you always, Wiseman.

  2. Mel says:

    We lose perspective when we get fearful–I think it’s a human trait. Snakes get ’10 feet long’, spiders have ‘evil fangs’–perspective goes out the window. Most folks end up regaining that perspective, but I think it’s pretty human of us to immediately move into “ACK–this is going to effect me and I don’t like it!!”
    It’s good that we have the whereforall to move past that place and come to a different understanding….a different perspective.

    I’ve no doubt I’ll have that flicker of selfishness. But I’ll remember this piece you wrote. And I’ll remember this is not my journey, nor your ‘ending’. It’s just a ‘bon voyage’ to the arms of an angel with whom you’ll soar, no doubt.

    I do gotta let ya know it makes me smile to know you’ve gone back to read.
    I don’t know why…LOL….it just does. Maybe because I make that my practice when I land somewhere–it’s what I did when I landed here. It gave me the ‘feel’ to remain–and this piece you shared, is a fine example of why.

    ((((((((((( Bill )))))))))))

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