It is kind of a special time for me. It is like a humbling time of gratitude. Sometime today the blog will hit a quarter of a million hits. I am in awe wondering how in the world my ramblings have attracted such attention.
With this humble feeling comes almost a feeling of guilt. I know many research, write and edit their posts before putting them up. They put real effort into what they write, I just sit down and type what ever comes to mind, spell check is the only tool or checking I do of anything. That lack of effort compared to what so many others put in just somehow doesn’t seem fair. I am a very blessed an lucky guy.
I had a very nice chat with Kathryn a nice lady and I may post more about that in the future. Our conversation really got me thinking about this whole bogging concept of mine. By the very name of the blog I am writing about my final journey on this earth. It is about dying yet mostly I write about living life. What is up with that?
Every single person on this planet has at least one thing in common. We are all going to die at some point in time. It is inevitable, we can not escape that reality. This fills most if not all with an over whelming feeling of dread and even fear. The thought of our own mortality is something we just don’t want to even think about much less talk about. To many it is like a taboo subject. Is it like an ostrich putting its head in the sand. If I can’t see it around me and if I don’t think about it maybe it won’t happen to me. Well guess what it is going to happen to you to me and in time to everyone. Can we not bring this taboo subject out of the dark at least enough to be able to talk about it and help others as they deal with it. Am I suggesting that the topic of death and dying be brought so much to the fore front that we become a society so focused on death we just run around daily contemplating our own demise. Of course not that would be ridiculous, so what am I trying to say.
Live our lives to the fullest on a daily basis. So often we endure life rather than live it. For many myself included for many years measured the quality of my life by material possessions and where I saw my life in relation to where I envisioned it being in the future. I was so busy envisioning how my live would be in the future I forgot about living in the day, enjoying the day. It was always my life will be better when: I finish school, I get a job, I have a family……..
As I reached or acheived one milestone another had already taken its place, leaving me still unsatisfied “knowing” it will be better WHEN.
My constant focus on that elusive future “when”, kept me feeling lacking in what I had at the time, a good life.
Hearing those words come out of your doctor’s mouth: you are dying can surprisingly have a very positive impact on your life, if you allow yourself to have that mindset. It can be a real eye opener. Opening your eyes to really see the world for what it is a truly wonderful place. A wonderful place that, yes, is filled with nagging little annoyances. Nagging little annoyances that if we allow enough of them to latch on to us can drag us down to a point we are no longer able to see the forest for the trees.
It is only now that I can look back on my life that I can see I allowed myself to see just how much time I wasted. What at the time seemed like a major crisis, was in the big picture of things nothing but a nagging little annoyance that I blew way out of proportion., really sad when I think of it. A moment of negativity caused by really nothing but a nagging little annoyance deprived me of so much and it is only now I can see it. A moment spent in negativity is a moment of happiness gone forever. Can we or better put will we allow ourselves to learn from the mistakes of others. I see life differently now by sharing as I am will others learn from my mistakes, I don’t know.
Living a “good life” takes effort. What do I mean by a good life? Living a life that will allow you to ultimately face your end with no regrets over things said or unsaid, done or undone.. living life is the way to prepare for a good death.
Living through out our entire lives there are always 2 ways we can look at everything. This applies right up to and including the time when we face our own demise. I have some time left on this earth, how much I don’t know. I love this life of mine so I can either live it to the fullest. Not give up on living it until it is taken from me. Or, I could just give up on it now, curl up in a ball on the floor and become an angry, nasty person to be around, poor me. Why would I give up on living life before it is taken from me.
Along that thought line, this came to mind. I can’t change my future,I have no control over that. What I can control is the final lasting memories I leave behind.
To all my family and dear blogging friends, on this milestone post. I thank you for the prayers and loving support.