Dying man’s Daily Journal – Living to die


It is kind of a special time for me. It is like a humbling time of gratitude. Sometime today the blog will hit a quarter of a million hits. I am in awe wondering how in the world my ramblings have attracted such attention.

With this humble feeling comes almost a feeling of guilt. I know many research, write and edit their posts before putting them up. They put real effort into what they write, I just sit down and type what ever comes to mind, spell check is the only tool or checking I do of anything. That lack of effort compared to what so many others put in just somehow doesn’t seem fair. I am a very blessed an lucky guy.

I had a very nice chat with Kathryn a nice lady and I may post more about that in the future. Our conversation really got me thinking about this whole bogging concept of mine. By the very name of the blog I am writing about my final journey on this earth. It is about dying yet mostly I write about living life. What is up with that?

Every single person on this planet has at least one thing in common. We are all going to die at some point in time. It is inevitable, we can not escape that reality. This fills most if not all with an over whelming feeling of dread and even fear. The thought of our own mortality is something we just don’t want to even think about much less talk about. To many it is like a taboo subject. Is it like an ostrich putting its head in the sand. If I can’t see it around me and if I don’t think about it maybe it won’t happen to me. Well guess what it is going to happen to you to me and in time to everyone. Can we not bring this taboo subject out of the dark at least enough to be able to talk about it and help others as they deal with it. Am I suggesting that the topic of death and dying be brought so much to the fore front that we become a society so focused on death we just run around daily contemplating our own demise. Of course not that would be ridiculous, so what am I trying to say.

Live our lives to the fullest on a daily basis. So often we endure life rather than live it. For many myself included for many years measured the quality of my life by material possessions and where I saw my life in relation to where I envisioned it being in the future. I was so busy envisioning how my live would be in the future I forgot about living in the day, enjoying the day. It was always my life will be better when: I finish school, I get a job, I have a family……..

As I reached or acheived one milestone another had already taken its place, leaving me still unsatisfied “knowing” it will be better WHEN.

My constant focus on that elusive future “when”, kept me feeling lacking in what I had at the time, a good life.

Hearing those words come out of your doctor’s mouth: you are dying can surprisingly have a very positive impact on your life, if you allow yourself to have that mindset. It can be a real eye opener. Opening your eyes to really see the world for what it is a truly wonderful place. A wonderful place that, yes, is filled with nagging little annoyances. Nagging little annoyances that if we allow enough of them to latch on to us can drag us down to a point we are no longer able to see the forest for the trees.

It is only now that I can look back on my life that I can see I allowed myself to see just how much time I wasted. What at the time seemed like a major crisis, was in the big picture of things nothing but a nagging little annoyance that I blew way out of proportion., really sad when I think of it. A moment of negativity caused by really nothing but a nagging little annoyance deprived me of so much and it is only now I can see it. A moment spent in negativity is a moment of happiness gone forever. Can we or better put will we allow ourselves to learn from the mistakes of others. I see life differently now by sharing as I am will others learn from my mistakes, I don’t know.

Living a “good life” takes effort. What do I mean by a good life? Living a life that will allow you to ultimately face your end with no regrets over things said or unsaid, done or undone.. living life is the way to prepare for a good death.

Living through out our entire lives there are always 2 ways we can look at everything. This applies right up to and including the time when we face our own demise. I have some time left on this earth, how much I don’t know. I love this life of mine so I can either live it to the fullest. Not give up on living it until it is taken from me. Or, I could just give up on it now, curl up in a ball on the floor and become an angry, nasty person to be around, poor me. Why would I give up on living life before it is taken from me.

Along that thought line, this came to mind. I can’t change my future,I have no control over that. What I can control is the final lasting memories I leave behind.

To all my family and dear blogging friends, on this milestone post. I thank you for the prayers and loving support.

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6 Responses to Dying man’s Daily Journal – Living to die

  1. starlaschat says:

    WOW! I get to be the first comment on this momentous day of Celebration of your blog! Thank You for teaching me to live fully and gratefully in this moment. As the sun warms me from a long long winter I realize that life is a series of Seasons and all of the Seasons are of value not just the Spring but enduring the Winters. You do often have a wonderful message to Live Life fully and to be present for your life now. Thank You again and Congratulations and a blogging milestone.

    hi starlaschat. I thank you for your kind thoughts. you are so right about the seasons being a part of the cycle of life. Each different, but no one less important or less or more beautiful than the next. I do hope to hear from you again.
    Bill

  2. Karl says:

    Congratulations on the 250,000 hits.
    I would be interested in hearing your views on Heaven. I imagine you have given this some thought. Do you believe Heaven is reserved for Christians only? I am interested in hearing you thoughts on this.
    Karl

    hi Karl. Here you have a topic I love to discuss/debate.
    Sorry Karl I got into such a long rambling reply here to your question, that I have decided to put it up as a post. I hope to have that up today. In the mean time for a quick answer, do I believe Heaven is reserved for Christians only? NO

  3. babychaos says:

    That’s one heck of a milestone, I remember you were gobsmacked when you hit 20,000! That’s amazing and a suitably thoughtful and impressive post to mark the event. This post is bang on as ever. All the best to you and anyone who happens by, read Bill’s blog, he talks a lot of sense!

    Lots of love

    BC

    Morning BC. you have been with me the longest almost since the very beginning of the blog. you have contributed much and I thank you. you are right back then I was in awe of the number of hits piling up. A couple of times a days i would run to the computer just to check the stats to be blown away each time. It seems over time that number has become less and less important to me. Though I am still amazed by it. I thank you my friend

  4. Mel says:

    250,201 !!!!!!!!!! Wooooohoooooo!!!!!

    I get to be one in the quarter million today! Now how cool is that?! 🙂

    ((((((((((( Bill ))))))))))))

    Blessings to you and yours. And thank you. As one who lets that daily agenda get the best of her–who can get lost in the ‘NEXT’ and forget to look around at what’s already in front of her…thank you.

    Dear Mel, it is I that thank you. I have been so blessed to have met you and so many other wonderful people here through the blog. I thank you and all. Mel, you have been a main stay of the blog. you have contributed so much wisdom, helped so many with your kind loving support. I am honored to consider you a friend. It was indeed my lucky day when you happened across the blog.

  5. Cat says:

    Congratulations, Bill!

    “Every single person on this planet has at least one thing in common. We are all going to die at some point in time. It is inevitable, we can not escape that reality.”

    This just reminded me of something I was saying the other day after reading yet another news story about something that “increases the risk of death.” I see that phrase frequently in news stories — eating this or that increases your risk of death. Being obese increases your risk of death. I always think, “I’m pretty sure that everyone has a 100% risk of death. I’m not sure how you could increase that.”

    Hi Cat, I hadn’t thought of it quite in that way but you are right. “Everyone has a 100% risk of death”. The only variable is the timing and how wisely we use the time we do have. Nice to hear from you.
    Bill

  6. braonthree says:

    You realize, I’m sure, that some people don’t get nice lives. Some people, faced with a terminal illness, can’t look back and say “I’ve had a pretty good life.”

    Hi braonthree, I know what you are saying about the looking back at life. i suppose to a large part that is why I try to write this blog. To try to encourage people to live the best lives they can so that at the end there are as few regrets as possible. I say as possible because I do know there are times or situations in life that will make that impossible. All we can do is our best every day as hard as that may be.

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