Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Turn a negative to a positive.


Feeling much better today. During this past while it hasn’t really been a whole lot of fun living in this body of mine. Breathing is something we just take for granted, well that would be less so for those that suffer for asthma or some other such condition. Most don’t even think about it our body just does it automatically. Believe me though when you struggle to get your breath, suddenly you really appreciate it and no longer take such a simple thing for granted. I wonder if anyone when counting their blessing in this life even considers breathing to be one of them. Well everyone really should!!!

I reached the point where even just walking across the room left me huffing, puffing and wheezing. Sort of like I couldn’t get enough air in. Computer is in the basement, now who ever invented stairs that go down had a wonderful idea, but stairs that go up much harder. lol. 

A big thank you to sister-in-law Karen. She came over yesterday and gave the house a good cleaning, top to bottom.  A second thank you to Karen, she heard my breathing,could see the difficulties I was having and suggested I smear my chest with camphorated oil, put a hot cloth on top of it before sleeping. Huh, I did that and my breathing is much easier. Sometimes home remedies are the best. Thanks Karen.

For me to really realize how much I have changed, or of how my outlook on life has changed, it seems I need some event or something to happen and I can see my change based on my reaction to this event. I deleted a comment this morning as on reading it I felt it was just intended to be mean spirited. After deleting it though I was almost sorry I did.
There was a time when such a comment would have had me jumping up and down mad now I just chuckle.  So then why did I delete it. I want this to be a safe place, a loving place people can consider a safe haven to come to. Mean spirited, disrespectful comments have no place in that. I came up with this “policy” a month or so ago after another comment was left with I did leave in place, but no more. Mean spirited comments reflect more on the writer than anyone else and I can honestly say I feel sorry for them. They must be in a truly bad place in their lives to have such an attitude or outlook. You are in my prayers.

This comment inspite of the content was good for me to read. It actually made me feel a little good within myself as I could feel or see the change within myself based on my reaction. So to the writer that didn’t even sign the comment, leaving their name, I actually thank you.

The essence of the message was: Demanding to know what sort of a scam I am running here. Demanding I produce some sort of proof of all the medical ailments, I “claim” to have, as no one with all the conditions I “claim” to have would consider themselves to be lucky as I have.

I am sitting here chuckling even as I write that. To be able to actually see and feel how much I have changed is a wonderful thing for me. There was a time when my reaction and response would have been instant anger causing me to respond with something like: Go to hell you f#%king  a##hole.now i just smile, chuckle and offer up prayers for the writer.

I realize I have become more understanding, accepting of the fact we are all on the journey of life. Someone elses path may be different than mine. That different path may have created a different mindset, how am I to know. Everyone is fighting their own battles, dealing with things in their own way the best way they can at the time.

When I hear something or read something that is not the way I see things,  I listen and give it thought trying to understand where the other is coming from, learn what I can and discard the rest.

As I think of it though I do realize there are a lot of internet scams going on. I suppose I can see that if someone is of the suspicious mindset and just quickly passes through the blog they may question,why is this guy doing this? Surely he must have some sort of a scam going on “claiming to be this poor dying man,he must be after people to send him money or something”. Or, at least that is what I imagine must be the writers thought, though I am not actually sure.

I have to laugh, I have never asked for nor received and cash or gifts from anyone. I have even declined such when offered. I have even declined numerous blogging awards. I am not promoting the sale of a book or anything else. Geesh, if this is a scam, it is a pretty crappy one. I am not gaining anything financially or materially.

Produce proof of my various ailments. Now in fairness when I think of it some may scoff, thinking come on no one has that much stuff going on. And, well I do have quite the list. Heart Failure, 5 heart attacks, 3 angioplasty with stents, brain tumor, diabetes, epilepsy, sleep apnea, edema, carpal tunnel, neuropathy AND I am to short for my weight.lol. Well  what can I say I do have each of those. What can I say, the chose is yours believe me or not.Now if anyone ever wants to meet me,give me a call we can arrange for you to drop by the house. If you ask nicely I can show you medical records galore.

THere are always 2 ways to look at everything. An intended negative can be taken as a positive. It is all in how you look at it.

PS. I finished the post and went and checked the stats. i just can not believe the number of hits. I have to do something to mark a quarter of a million hits, that is really special to me. Any suggestions.

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8 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Turn a negative to a positive.

  1. Cat says:

    Yes; it’s quite a scam you have going here, Bill. Imagine the nerve of someone like you getting people together to chat with each other and offer support and prayers for each other! You’re a real devious man.

    I will give some thought to a quarter million hits celebration and let you know if I come up with anything!

    I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better and I hope that Vi’s recovery is proceeding well so far.

  2. Mel says:

    249,381 (just sayin’!!)

    🙂

    I’ve taken to saying “Upright, breathing and on the right side of the grass–it’s a GREAT day, ty!!” when folks ask how I am…. But really…..I don’t really thank the Big Guy enough, yaknow? Point well taken. I’ll be sure to chat with Him about that one.

    And I had to laugh at Cat’s response. Oh, yeah–quite the scam to get folks praying and supporting one another…….you’re gooooooood! :-/

    Yup–your weblog, your decision, sir. But I need to concur with what you shared….speaks well to how much of you has been stretched and molded into the you that you are today.
    Seriously, Bill. It’s been a pleasure to watch even in the short while I’ve been hanging around. (omgosh…..what’s that–two, maybe three years?!…. CAKE!! We need CAKE to celebrate the quarter million..and you putting up with two/three years of my tormentings……LOLOL)
    Gosh….who scammed who?! LOL

    ((((((((((( Bill )))))))))))) 😉

  3. Katherine says:

    Hi Bill!
    I have to say – this is another thought provoking post! I did think as I was reading your post how sorry I felt for that person that posted that comment. To doubt everything must be very exhausting and the world must look like a dark, frightening place! And do you know what? Even if this site was a scam (which I can tell it isn’t!!) it has done so much good would it even matter? I don’t mean to sound like I am saying scams are ok – they most defiantly are not – but I am trying to say that your blog has changed some of my perspectives so much I don’t care if it is real or not – the impact has been amazing.

    *sigh* I’m not sure I’m making sense so I’m going to say goodbye and thanks again before I end up worse off than I started!

    There are so many beautiful things in life – they are what I want to come to mind first when I see something that is new to me. I consciously look for beauty.

  4. Mel says:

    249,527!!

    k…make that almost four years.

    LOL Oh how time flies when you’re having fun!

    Happy Wednesday to you, sir!!

    (((((((((( Bill )))))))))))

  5. Kathryn Blaze Carlson says:

    Hi Bill,

    I’m a reporter with the National Post newspaper. I’m hoping to chat with you for a story I’m working on, as soon as you might be available.

    Please respond to the email address associated with this comment, or go to the ‘Contact us’ page of the National Post website, click on my name, and email me that way.

    Best
    Kathryn

  6. Mel says:

    249,858

    Almost there, sir!!

    Gosh, it’s been over three–almost four years since you and I have crossed paths.

    LOL Suddenly I feel like an ‘old fart’ around here…LOL

    (((((((((((( Bill ))))))))))))))

    Mel my friend you have contributed so very much to the blog over these past years and I thank you so very much. It has been such a pleasure getting to know you. We have never actually met in person and very likely never will but I do consider you to be a very good friend. I am so very glad you came upon the blog in what ever manner it was that brought you here.
    Bill

  7. starlaschat says:

    I appreciated what you said about seeing differently and the choice to act differently. I have had chronic pain for the last 2+ years. I am amazed beside learning about frustration and not being able to change something no matter how hard I tried and learning to let go. And lastly because of this pain learning to see others with a new level of compassion realizing that usually I do not know the who story, their inside story. So I guess living with pain has brought me some round about Joy and new ways of seeing. For this I am grateful.

  8. Kath says:

    So so glad to finally find a positive cancer blog. I am in Australia and have malignant brain cancer and epilepsy 18mths to 2yrs left. Everytime I try to look up something positive I fail. I wake up every morning hearing the birds singing and the horses neighing and I just smile, my life at the moment is limited but it is beautiful and I love it! I get joy out of every day. Thankyou for your blog

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