Dying Man’s Daily Journal Prayer request and laughter

December 10, 2009

I am feeling fine, just no energy, tired and worn out. Having a hard time getting my lazy butt in gear. i do apologize to those that have left me comments or sent email to which I have not responded. I am so far behind I don’t know if I will ever get caught up. Hey, what can I say I work in “Bill” time or at “Bill” speed. Please know I do read and appreciate everyone, please keep them coming.

The same applies to email. I am way way behind in responding to so many messages, what can I say “Bill” speed of doing things. Just looked 167 messages in the inbox. Now these all certainly aren’t new messages today, but are a build up over the past several months, I suppose. Some days I receive no messages at all, other days I may receive 25 or 30. On these bigger days I quickly peruse the list and put aside those that I think will be jokes or wise sayings. (I love getting these and do get to them, please keep them coming). I TRY to concentrate first on the messages from those i know are in a painful or difficult situation. Now remember we are talking about dopey headed memory guy here, sometimes I miss seeing a “real” message.

A prime example of this is a message I received several days ago from our dear blogging friend Jo. For a couple of years now Jo has been a great supporter of and contributor to the blog. About 5 or 6 weeks ago,  Jo disappeared completely.Growing concerned I sent her an email. Now picture me slapping myself on the head, I missed seeing her reply. Sorry Jo.

Today, I ask for prayers for Jo and her entire family. They are in the midst of a very difficult time. I never share personal information received in an email so I will not elaborate on the situation, but do ask for the prayers. At the end of her email, Jo asked me to pass along her best to all of her blogging friends here and assure all she will be returning asap. Jo, you are missed and I do hope you do manage to return soon.

While I am on the subject of emails, it has me thinking. I do get a lot of jokes sent to me, I love them and hope they will keep coming. I may not immediately get to them, but I will get there and have a good laugh. Laughter is something we can never have to much of in our lives. Laughter brings joy to our hearts.

Now don’t get me wrong I am in favor of at least trying to be politically correct of trying not to offend others by simply mis-speaking. Now I so agree there must be a line somewhere, a joke can go quickly from being funny to being cruel. Now that is just plain wrong, period.

Now society as a whole gives guide lines as to where that line in the sand should be drawn. The tricky part is we each individually draw our own line in the sand. Now remember common sense must prevail here, but I have to wonder. Are we so sensitive to political correctness that we are depriving ourselves and others laughter. I mean come on, if a joke is funny it is funny.

Have we  become so sensitive that we automatically take things personally. Have we become so suspicious of  and so untrusting of others that we are constantly on guard. On guard to ensure we don’t fall victim to the jokes of a racist or a sexist or what ever. Now I do know such people are indeed out there but they are in the minority.

Listen to a joke looking for the humor. Laugh if it is funny, don’t spend your time trying to find ways in which you assume it is meant to be derogatory to yourself. I never believe people tell me jokes to laugh at me, they tell me the jokes to laugh with me.

I ask this, would it be considered politically incorrect or maybe insensitive to send “a poor dying man” jokes about dying. Well I don’t at least not im my case. Taking about it, joking about it, laughing about it actually helps ease the load. Now I haven’t had any lately but in the past I have receive all sorts of them. Usually they involve 3 guys arriving at the Pearly Gates, a catholic, a protestant and a guy named Bill. Or an Englishman, and Irishman and a guy named Bill. That poor guy named Bill never seems to fair so well. If it is funny it is funny and I will get a good laugh.

How about telling me some good ones. I will help you out, giving you enough ammunition you can come up with some good ones. OK, besides this dying thing, I am folically  (spelling ??) challenged (bald), vertically challenged (to heavy for my height). I am part English and part Irish.

I challenge you to give me a good laugh. Remember i never judge people by the quality of a joke, I may judge the quality of the joke and either give it a laugh or a groan but that is all.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Birthday request

December 8, 2009

It is amazing how another year has flown by so very quickly. Yup, I will hit the big 57 on Dec. 13th..

For any that may have followed the blog for a while or read back, I am sure you can guess what is coming next. Yup, you guessed it, I am brazenly, flat out asking for birthday gifts. Now I am I am even going as far as to ask for a specific gift. What is this specific gift I am asking for.

I am asking every one to perform a random act of kindness. I know everyone performs countless acts of kindness on a daily basis inspite of our hectic lives. Most such acts we just sort of stumble upon, perform and carry on without a second thought. This is wonderful.

What I am asking is for everyone to specifically look for and then perform just one more. For whom the act is performed doesn’t matter, the size of or even what the act is doesn’t matter, that amount of time it may take doesn’t matter.

What matters most to me is that we carry in us an awareness of looking for opportunities to help another. Speaking for myself, I know I spent most of my life very self absorbed, so busy trying to get through my own day that I so often failed to even notice those around me. There is a wonderful world out there. We just need to see past our own little worlds to see this wonderful world around us. Contained withing the hearts of people all around the world is so much love, so much kindness, it is beyond anything we could measure. The love the kindness is there we just have to find a way to put it to use. Love and kindness are like renewable resources, the amount available is unending, we just need to put it to use.

A dear blogging friend Cat left this quote in a recent comment. It pretty much does say it all:

Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.
~Sally Koch

It is these “SMALL” ones that I am asking all to be on the watch for. Could any act of kindness ever be considered too small to be bothered with? NO!!!!!!! We can never know how even the smallest act may impact on another. There are millions of example, here is but one. You are having a work related discussion with a coworker. You can sense the coworker is struggling or feeling down.If our minds and hearts are open to it, our eyes will see such situations. Now as this conversation ends, how long would it take to say just even 4 or 5 encouraging or supportive words, a couple of seconds.Those few seconds wouldn’t disrupt even the busiest day and again we can never really know the impact those words may have on the other person.

At the top of this page is a row of titles, each of these represent a different page I have set up to accompany this the main blog. Please click on the one titled “spirit within me”. Here I ask people to put 5 minutes a week into their busy schedules. Now I don’t care how busy your life is if you honestly feel you can’t fit in 5 minutes a week you are fooling yourself.

Why am I asking for these acts of kindness? There are 4 reasons.

The first is obvious. You have lighten the load, brightened the day of the one you have helped.

Second, To me, just as importantly or even more importantly you have helped yourself.How have you helped yourself? The acts of kindness I am asking for are ones that come from the heart. No reward or recognition is expected or wanted and will even be declined if offered. We leave that situation with such a warm glow in our hearts. We leave it knowing, “I just did something, not because I had to, not because it was expected of me. I did it just because I was there and I wanted to, I am a good person.” This warm glow in your heart is the nicest feeling you can have. It actually grows and increases with each sucsessive act. I grow inside as a person as I come to realize I am a good person. Please give it a try.

Third, I ask you all to leave me a comment here on the blog telling us all of your act, no matter how big or small it may have seemed to you. Why? Reading the acts of others may inspire each of us to do the same. Plant the seed of an idea, like, “hey I could do that, I just never even thought of it.

Fourth, I ask that the comments be left for a very personal and selfish reason. I will make me feel good.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal

December 7, 2009

Didn’t sleep very well last night and am up early this morning. I have to be at the hospital at 7:30 this morning. I am not sure why but I am feeling a little apprehensive even nervous about this whole thing.  With this heart of mine I have been through a lot of tests and procedures and have never felt this way before.

Maybe it is just this memory of mine. I know I have to be there but for the life of me, I can’t remember why. Obviously, I know it is a test of some sort in which a dye is put into my system. So it involves taking pictures of my heart, a cat scan or ultra sound something like that. That part doesn’t worry me.

I remember being told a follow up procedure will be required. What that is will be determined by the results of this test. I always ask for a best case worst case scenario. Best case I like, worst case not so much.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Spending our time

December 6, 2009

Haven’t been feeling to spry this past few days. I suppose it is more just feeling really tired and worn out. I have the luxury of being able to take a nap when ever I please and have really been taking advantage of that. A day certainly does fly by when you sleep most of it away.

As with everything in life I have to find the right balance. When I woke from what was I think my 3rd. nap yesterday the thought really hit me. I am sleeping so much of my precious time away. Here is where finding the right balance comes in.. There are times in life when we do have to push ourselves just to get things done. Each of us need to find the balance the right point between just being lazy and over doing it. The big question is how hard do we push ourselves? Push too hard and it is at the expense of your health. The opposite side of the coin is, don’t push yourself hard enough and you can become just plain old  lazy. That can also be at the expense of your health and at the same time deny you the ability to really live life.

I have to really think on this. Could I be pushing myself harder, of course I could. Could I push myself to the point I go through the day without napping at all, of course I could. I have done it many times. We can always push ourselves a little harder to get a little more done.

Quantity, is something that is not guaranteed in life. This applies to everything in our physical lives. This applies to everything from the amount of money we have, the number of friends we have, right down to the amount of time we have. Here we are back to “our time”. I have heard of time being referred to as our most valuable asset, our most valuable commodity.

For me to get things straight in my head, I often need to come up with a physical comparable. This is what I have come up with.

I think everyone will agree, money is a valuable asset, we need it. We use it to buy our food, clothing, shelter, all the necessities of life. For most of us, it is usually in short supply. We struggle through the month budgeting and spending our money wisely. We know we have a limited quantity of it, we make due with what we have and try to make the most of it.

I take that same thought process and now apply it to our time on this earth. For each of us individually our time on this earth is a very valuable “commodity” our most valuable resource. We need to understand it is a “limited” resource and a “non renewable” resource.

I am not sure how well I was able to use my comparable. We spend our time, we spend our money. As we near  the end of any given month we may run out of money and look back regretting the way we may have foolishly wasted it throughout the month. We may struggle then but are comforted knowing another pay cheque is but days away. In that way money is a renewable resource.

Our time is not. When we near the end of our days, will we be looking back full of regret over how foolishly we spent and wasted so much precious time. Please just think about it.

These thoughts are brought to mind and reenforced in my mind as I read a recent comment left here on the blog. Earlier this morning I put up a post asking for prayers. Please read the comment, I think if pretty much says it all.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Prayer Request

December 6, 2009

I received a comment from a cyber friend in need. As it was  left on an earlier post I know many may not have read it. I ask please for prayers and support:

gaetano Says:
December 5, 2009 at 6:03 am |

Its 5 in the morning and Im sitting here at my computer and tears start to fall from my eyes.I`m 66 and I sit and wonder where are my friends ,and my mother and father.They are passing on in front of my eyes every day,and I wonder ,why.I had a kidney removed from cancer, and also a heart attack,and I know that soon I will be joining them.I don`t know if I am feeling sorry for myself or if I am afraid to leave this world and afraid for my family.I`ve raised 6 children. All are grown,except one.Shes only 15.I ask my self,was I a good father,a good husband,and did I do the best that I could have done,with my life? Should I have not hated so much,some of the things I did because they didn`t satisfy me, or was I just a mean person? I don`t know.I lost my best friend last year and think of him every day.I lost my parents 9 years ago and I miss them so much.I get calls more closer together then ever before of friends, or relatives,or ex classmates that have passed on,and the hurt gets worse,and the tears fall more. I find myself talking to JESUS every day and wonder if maybe I am just trying to get closer to heaven or am I preparing myself for was is about to come for me? I think about people that I have hurt thruout my life,even with maybe a small insult,and I beg in my heart for forgiveness,and I don`t even remember who I`ve hurt or where they are so that I could tell them that I am sorry.Well,where ever they are,I hope they can hear me,and forgive me.However,I now will prey for God to take me quick when he decides to,and ask him to protect my family and friends and the world has I know it.

Hi gaetano, welcome to the blog. I thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and feelings.
You have worded your message in such a way that I can almost feel your pain, worry and fear. I can so easily relate to and understand what you are saying. I have gone through and am still going through everything you have described. All I believe are normal human reactions.
My friend you say you had a kidney removed due to cancer and you had a heart attack. May I ask what is your current prognosis that lead you to believe you will soon be joining your family and friends that have already passed? Past events as difficult as they may have been don’t necessarily have to affect our current situation.
Irregardless, you are such a difficult spot, my heart goes out to you. You raise a lot of very good questions, questions all will all at some point be asking themselves. Speaking for myself, never have regrets weighed so heavily on my shoulders.. I have come to realize I can’t change the past any more than you can.
Gaetano, I am not trying to imply anything about you or how you lived your life, I don’t even know you. I can only speak for myself when it comes to dealing with regrets. I can’t change past events, nor can I change the person I used to be. I may once have acted in a certain way, but that doesn’t mean I have to do that today. All I can change is how I act today.
Gaetano, I ask you to please think of something. Since I don’t know you or your circumstances I will use my own situation as an example. I know my days on this earth are numbered and that sucks.
I have to remind myself, maybe the doctors have told me I am dying. BUT, I AM NOT DEAD YET. I still have some living to do and I am doing my best at it. Daily, I have a choice to make. I can either choose to get up and live the day in the very best way I can.Or, I can just curl up in a ball, stay in bed and really give up on life before it really ends.
Let’s talk more my friend, how are you managing to deal with your situation? Email on its way.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – No quit

December 2, 2009

My Aunt said something to me while she was here visiting. She doesn’t and likely will never really know how those few words impacted on me, in such a powerful and wonderful way.

Her words: “you are just like your mother, there is no “quit” in you.”

My mother passed over in 1992. I loved (love) her very much. I also had a huge amount of respect for her as my mother but also as the person she was. My mother most certainly did not have an easy life.  Many can relate to her life, essentially she was a single parent raising 3 sons on what was I am sure was a minimun wage job.

Geesh, right now I can’t remember, it was either 1981 or 1982 that she had open heart surgery. At that time I had been long gone from home, raising my own family in an entirely different town. My mother had a very strong work ethic. “They hired me to do a job, they hired me to be there 40 hours a week doing that job and not just when I feel like it.”

There may have been a few things that slowed her down or knocked her off her stride but nothing could make her quit. There just wasn’t any quit in her.

Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Kindness is everywhere

December 2, 2009

I received in this wonderful news story from our dear blogging friend Cat. It is just too good not to share.

Virginia Saenz could hear the desperation in the voice of the telephone message. It was 5 a.m. on the day before Thanksgiving, and the caller, Lucy Crutchfield, was trying to tell her daughter that she’d send money for groceries — but she’d have to miss a mortgage payment to do it.

But Crutchfield dialed the wrong number. Instead of getting her daughter, she got Saenz, a real estate agent from the San Diego suburb of Tierrasanta.

“I know right now we are all struggling,” Saenz said. “Lisa on the phone, she sounded so desperate for her daughter, it broke my heart.”

Saenz did the only thing she could think of — she called Crutchfield back and said not to worry. Crutchfield would pay the mortgage, and Saenz would handle the groceries.

“She said, ‘You have the wrong number … don’t worry any more,’ ” Crutchfield recalled.

For Crutchfield, it was a holiday miracle. Her house is already in foreclosure. Her mother recently passed away, and Crutchfield is now trying to pay off her house. She had a money order prepared to make a mortgage payment on that house — but was going to cash it in when her daughter called asking for money.

“I thought I was going to lose that house, too,” Crutchfield said.

Saenz told Crutchfield to keep her money and promised to take care of her daughter. The real estate agent then called Crutchfield’s daughter.

“I asked her what she would like, what her kids like, and then I felt really bad because she said she only wanted eggs and milk,” Saenz said. “When somebody only asks you for eggs and milk, they are in a really bad situation.”

So Saenz went grocery shopping on Thanksgiving morning with her 14-year-old son in tow to tell her what kids liked to eat. They bought food for a Thanksgiving dinner and enough groceries to get Crutchfield’s daughter through the end of the month — her next payday.

She said the act of giving made “the day special for me.”

“I helped somebody,” Saenz said Friday. “I think it’s what anybody would have done.”


Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Finding Happiness

December 1, 2009

Sadly, as all things do, this weekend has come to an end. Only moments ago Aunt Isabel, cousin Carol with hubby Garry left to begin the drive home to Swan River. It really was a wonderful weekend and I do thank them so much for making the trip. Carol and Garry spent the weekend with his family here in the city as it was his birthday. Happy birthday Garry.

Aunt Isabel is again returning to Swan River holding the title of World Champion. Yup, she won the crib championship and more than once. Over the weekend we must have held the championship tournament 5 or 6 times. Can’t really remember how many times, but I do remember, I actually won it once and I do mean won it, not one of my default wins, although I do think my default win should count. lol.

We have a lot of fun joking around about this champion thing, but when it comes right down to it, neither of us care in the slightest about who wins. It is the sharing of company and doing something we both enjoy.

I am just sitting here thinking. My life, your life, everyone’s life is filled with blessings. Love and happiness surround us, we just have to take the time and open our eyes enough to see it right there in front of us. Not only see it but take the time to enjoy and appreciate it. Happiness is right there in front of us all we just need to open our eyes and our hearts enough to see it.

I am not even sure where I am heading with this thought but I can feel a ramble coming on.

I can only imagine some may read this and think to themselves, “so big deal you played a few games of cards with your Aunt. I don’t have time for such foolishness, I have far to many important things in life to waste time like that.” To that I can only respond, “huh, well maybe you should give your head a shake.  Look at your life, do you have enough joy and happiness in it? If not just maybe we have discovered at least a part of the reason why.

For Aunt Isabel and I our pass time of choice is playing crib. I have thrown in all of this championship stuff as it give me pleasure in just yapping about it or even whining about it when I lose. None of that matters, all that matters is spending the  time together doing something we enjoy. Times like that can even be used to block out the rest of the world.

I am struggling for words here. So, I played a few games of cards with my Aunt, big deal. Well to me it is a big dead. For each of us any event is what we choose to make of it. Just have your eyes open, happiness is there. It well may not be playing cards, just look and you will see it.

Attitude is everything, Aunt Isabel actually reminded me of that many times over the weekend. With NO exceptions attitude will give you love and joy or it can give you a miserable life. The choise is our alone to make.

Geesh, I did get off on a ramble.

Aunt Isabel, I thank you for a wonderful weekend. Now I warn you young lady, don’t get too comfortable with the idea of being “World Champion”. I will be back