Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Summary of Life


Back to the computer for a minute, checked  email and found one of those wise sayings that I find to be both funny and true. It is just too good not to share.

I may have taken the liberty of adding one additional point can you figure out which one it might be. lol. I asssure you it is but my attempt at humor I am not serious.

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats..

2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8) You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap..

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don’t hurt.

3) Families are like fudge….mostly sweet, with a few nuts

4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground..

5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.

6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional..

2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.

4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions

6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician

7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.

2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.

3) You are Santa Claus.

4) You look like Santa Claus

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . . not piddling in your pants..

At age 12 success is . . . having friends.

At age 17 success is . . having a driver’s license.

At age 35 success is . .. .having money.

At age 50 success is . .. . having money.

At age 70 success is . …. . having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is . . . having friends.

At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh. Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day. Have a wonderful day with many ! *smiles*

Take the time to live!!!

Life is too short.

Dance naked. woo-hoo

When dancing naked send Bill pictures

Advertisements

8 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Summary of Life

  1. Jaymie says:

    Wow, loved the list! Well, until the end…little weird. lol

    Hi Jaymie, I see you picked up on the one I added. I assure you totally said in jest.

  2. Juanita says:

    Glad you enjoyed it. Love Juanita

    Hi Juanita, I enjoyed it very much, thank you for sending it. Nice to hear from you hear on the blog, you are missed. Please keep the emails coming.
    Bill

  3. Doraz says:

    Well….I figured you had a bit to add at the end! LOL 🙂 Interesting take on life! Happy Friday!

    I sometimes add the “Bill” touch for better or worse

  4. Jaymie says:

    I know….weak attempt at humor back. 😆

    It is good to laugh together

  5. Cool list and funny… I don’t know about the last one though, ha ha.

    glad you enjoyed the list. Hey I thought the last one was really cool. lol

  6. Mel says:

    Yup–I was smiling before the added one. LOL

    Now, I’ll just smile wider.
    Thanks sir!

    Mel, glad you enjoyed my attempt at humor, or was it intended as humor?? LOL

  7. Jennie says:

    Maybe someone will choose that last one for their next random act of kindness. : )

    This isn’t related to your post but I wanted to tell you about the “random acts of cooperation” I saw today.

    I was driving in rush hour traffic, 5:00 p.m., Friday, end of the work week, when people are tired, possibly cranky. I found myself in a big traffic back-up at an intersection. I saw that the traffic light was out. There were three lanes of traffic in each direction

    When I’ve been in such situations before, it usually gets a little crazy and there is always someone trying to get through before everybody else.There were probably 15 cars ahead of me. I watched in pleased amazement as the cars in all four directions took turns going through the intersection, the front 6 cars entering the intersection at there same time. Twelve lanes of traffic moved in perfect synchronization. No one tried to go ahead of anyone else, although they easily could have. As a result, we got through sooner than we would have otherwise.

    I know that is how the traffic laws say you are supposed to do it, but in my experience, it doesn’t happen that way when there are multiple lanes of traffic. Then, you have to get at least 8 people all doing the same thing instead of just 4.

    Now, maybe this is how it always goes in Winnipeg Bill. I hear Canadians are very polite. It is out of the ordinary here and other cities I’ve been in. It just makes me feel a bit more optimistic that there are lots of people out there who value cooperation over getting ahead of the other guy.

    Hi Jennie, woohoo my birthday is coming up next month. Every years I have been asking for the gifts of kindness.
    My congratulations to the people of the city, where ever you live. Canadians are known for their politeness, I am not so sure that always extends to traffic. I have never actually experienced anything such as you describe. As I have approached any such intersection there has always been a police officer there already directing traffic. Not sure how it would go with out the officer there. Hey, what am I saying “of course us Canadians would always be just as polite and considerate”???

  8. Cat says:

    “Maybe someone will choose that last one for their next random act of kindness. : )”

    Hahahahahahaha! Jennie, that made me laugh out loud. 🙂

    Cat, what are you laughing about? I have my fingers crossed. Nice to hear from you my friend
    Bill

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: