Dying man’s Daily Journal – What it feels like to die

Here on the blog I can read the words that various people have typed into a search engine by which they have found me. So very often there are words searching for information on what it feels like to die. What the experience will be like, the passing from the physical to the Spiritual Worlds.

Now that is something none of us will ever know for sure until we actually do experience it. Obviously, I have never experienced it, but have come close several times. So close that well after the fact I learned later that the doctors had not thought I would make it.

My second heart attack was a big on that resulted in open heart surgery. It was a very cold evening in 11/94. Back in those days I was physically in good shape, was actually out power walking with my ex.. The heart attack put me down on the icy side walk, ironically right in front of a police station. Now it is not that you get to choose where you will have a heart attack. Now if you could, in front of a hospital would be first choice. Wouldn’ t you think though that being in front of a police station a pretty good spot in which you could get help. WRONG, I will get into that someday or maybe I already have, can’t remember.

Anyway, most of it I don’t remember as I suppose I was in and out of consciousness. I was on the ground for about 45 minutes. There is though an event that happen twice or maybe 3 times. I remember lying on the ground having chest pain, but my biggest issue was breathing, I couldn’t seem to get my breath. Suddenly, in the blink of an eye that all changed.

I was still lying on the sidewalk all the pain was gone, breathing wasn’t even a thought. A wonderfully peaceful, serene indescribable feeling came over me. Now I did not see any lights or tunnels or anything like that. Now my ex was kneeling over me. What I did see was her face seemingly start to float away into the distance. I remember hearing her screaming at me to breathe but her voice was sort of echoy of something. Almost like it was coming through a steel drum or something. When I heard her voice I focused more on her fading face and when I did that suddenly boom. Her face seemed to come flying back at me and with it back came the pain and difficulty breathing.

How do I explain that, well I really can’t. Was I teetering on the doorway that separates the physical and spiritual worlds? I don’t know this for sure, but I do believe I was. In discussing it with her later I learned that each time she had screamed at me to breath it was because I had stopped breathing.

With my usual reminder that I am not a doctor, nor a man of the clergy, I am just a man sharing his personal thoughts and beliefs.

What the dying experience will be like “according to Bill”.

As we approach our final days, hours, minutes will there be pain? That will be determined by the illness, disease or condition that has taken us to that point. Our physical body feels the pain of what ever disease or injury that has brought us to that point. Our physical bodies are merely that which “houses” our souls, our spirit during our time on this earth. We are spiritual beings and the very second our spirit leaves the physical “housing” all pain and suffer immediately ends. At this point we begin to experience the ultimate beautiful experience.

I believe there is a short “transition” period. It is during this time that people that have experience near death experience talk of floating through tunnels etc..  This short time I believe will be one of awe and wonderment.

I need a physical reference to enable me to visualize it in my mind. I see it almost a stepping through a doorway. A door way from one world to the next. The stepping through the door way is what I refer to as the transition period. The physical disease has led me to the open doorway. In my case it is my heart. I see myself standing in front of this open door. As I step forward, my first step puts my foot on the edge. Possible even just my toes extending to the other side. This is the time at which all physical pain will be gone and the journey begins. In this it is like I see myself moving in super slow motion as I take that step totally through. It may take a couple of minutes to get completely through. But, at this point time is irrelevant to me as I feel no pain just a wonderful feeling of peace and love. It is during this time that back in the physical world the doctors may be zapping my chest to restart the heart. I see this interference from the physical world as possibly disrupting an other wise beautiful experience. This is why I have signed a DNR.

PS. Please check out my Oct. 19th post, I am still looking for gifts.

31 Responses to Dying man’s Daily Journal – What it feels like to die

  1. Mel says:

    I don’t have any experiences to draw from on this one, Bill. I don’t know if that makes me ‘lucky’ or just ignorant. I do know that I’ve felt other’s as they’ve left their bodies. And it wasn’t a fear-filled departure, it was a peace-filled presence of spirit, yaknow?
    I’ll be going home to G-d and for me, the very act of going home has a welcoming peacefulness to it, yaknow? I don’t quite know how to explain that in earthly terms to other people.

    It does bring me peace to the crossing over for people around me, knowing the experiences of others and having felt what I’ve felt. It’s the fear for those I’m leaving behind that gets more of my attention now a days.

    All those things that I so want to be able to control….

    Uh oh……LOL I’m gonna ramble so I’ll shush while I’m ahead! 😉

    Hi Mel, I know what you mean when you used the words, “welcoming peacefulness”. It is hard to put into words. I did experience something as I described what it was exactly I do not know.

  2. Jo Hart says:

    Hey Bill, like Mel, I have experienced seeing others pass, and I agree it did not seem fear-filled at all. It was all extremely peacefull. I too like Mel fear only leaving my loved ones, and not the actual passing.

    My gift to you is going well – so far!! Will post on November 1st what has been done….. It’s been very exciting and wonderful to see the reactions.

    Jo, you have the same feels as I do. I do not fear the passing but am saddened at the thought of all that I will be leaving behind and do worry about those I will be leaving. I am looking forward to hearing of your act of kindness.

  3. Matt says:

    Hey Bill

    My name is Matthew and I am 22 from moncton n.b. I don’t really know how I found your blog but I think I have a story you might like to hear. When I was 16 I had a very near-death experience. My heart stopped and was technically dead for just under a minute. I don’t remember what it felt like and don’t remeber any lights or anyhting like that. What I do remeber however is this feeling of overwhelming sadness when I “came back”. . Remember when you were a little boy and how you felt when it was time to go home from a family vacation? How you just wanted to stay so badly. This is how I felt. I don’t know know exactly what happened back then but since then I’ve always felt that whatever is after this life is infinitely better. Why else would I have felt so dissappointedwhen I was brought back?

    Your blog has been an inspiration to me and I just wanted to say although we’ve never met I feel onne Ted with you through your writing. Bless you. My hearts both breaks and swells with pride and endearment at how brave and genuine and unbelievably positive you are.

    Thank you SO much for sharing your journal. You never know who else this could mean so much to as it has me.

    Bless you.

    Your friend,


    Hi Matthew, I thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. Like you I don’t really understand what it was I was experiencing or feeling it is just I know it was GOOD.
    A positive attitude is all important in life. I make a an effort to really work at it everyday. Don’t be mistaken though, I do have my days.
    I thank you for your so very kind words. We have never physically met each other and very likely never will. We can still be internet friends. I hope you will join with us here in what has become our little internet community of love and support for each other.
    Again I thank you

  4. Jessica says:

    Hi Bill,
    When I read your experience, it changed the way i feel about death. I thought it would be scary, painful and black. I thought it’d be the feeling of sleeping or the feeling of being born, but the way you say it, it really isn’t.Sometime i become in deep thought with the feeling of death, and 1 time, it felt slow and black, like i was in another world. I had a weird feeling in my stomach at the time and felt sort of depressed. If you have any thoughts, please reply… well, can you reply anyway please!



    Hi Jessica, welcome to my blog and thank you for taking the time to leave me a comment. I have been dealing this this whole dying process for quite some time and it has given me a lot of time to think about it all. When you are facing health issues there are times when inspite of how hard you may try it is just about all you think of. I do though at least try my best to focus on living what ever time I may have.
    I have a lot of thoughts on this and would be happy to share them with you. I will be doing a post after Christmas on this very topic. In the mean time though I hope you don’t mind but tomorrow I will contact you directly by email and share some thoughts and would be very interested in hearing yours in return.

    • Jessica says:

      Hi again Bill.
      I know you said tomorrow you’d catch up with me on email, but tomorrow’s is Christmas, so I may not get to you at that time. I will check when I can though. There are questions I want to ask you, so I’ll contact you by email and talk with you then! 😛

      Thanks again, Jessica

      • Jessica says:

        Bill, this is an add on to my other post that i forgot to put in, but you can still email me tomorrow, i just may not be able to read it. TTYL, Jessica

  5. Hi, Bill.

    I have a little story to tell about the time I was eighteen, and depressed, and I attempted suicide three times in the space of five days. The last of those attempts put me into a coma and clinical death from which I was revived. I don’t remember anything of that time at all; I have absolutely no memories between the time I went to bed with as many sedatives and tranquillisers as I could swallow inside me and the time I woke three days later with a tube in my throat and another in my penis.

    I’m an atheist. I was at the time an atheist, too; and I have absolutely no belief in a life after death. I don’t know if you’re religious, but it would be interesting to see if religious belief coincides in any way with near death experiences or the lack thereof.

    Regards, Bill.

    Hello Bill the Butcher and welcome to the blog.Now,speaking for myself and I am sure many others I am glad your suicide attempts failed. As you are still here you are able to contribute much to the lives of many. Even in this small way, contributing to the blog and those that may read.
    Am I a religious man? Well I suppose that will be determined by your definition of religious. Do I belong to or attend a specific Church, No. Do I have a very firm belief in God and the here after? YES. Do I lean on that faith and even use it as a crutch through this time? YES, most definitely. It has provided me with unending comfort and support.
    Would near death experiences differ between those with a belief system irregardless of which faith and those with no belief system? I really don’t know.
    I wish you well my friend and welcome anything further you may wish to add.l

    • Charles Trotta says:

      I have pancreatic cancer stage 4. I am angry and frightened and then much of the time peaceful, content and live in the now. Like anything we know is going to happen in the future, my mind tells me there’s unlimited time, denial.

      Hi Charles and welcome to my blog. I am so very sorry to hear of your cancer. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
      I can so relate to what you say. Our illnesses are different but our current situation at this time is not all that different. So I can relate to the feelings. The anger and the fear and how it can change from day to day or even hour to hour. It is hard, it sucks. We know what the future hold but keep that as something that will happen, just not now. Some time down the line, just not now.
      I got a real scare over this past weekend that brought my future right up into my face today.
      It helps to talk, to vent to get our feelings out. You are more than welcome to do that right here. Here you will receive much support
      Please keep in touch, we can share and learn from each other

  6. Jaclyn Woods says:

    Wow thanks so much for this blog.
    I’ve been thinking about death a lot lately, and it fills me with fear and panic.
    I lie in bed at night and sometimes even wake my partner up to reassure me. It’s the thought of this inevitable end that worries me. I love life and am very much in love, and the happier I am, the more the fear grows.

    Reading this has made me realise that maybe it’s not a bad thing, maybe it can be a beautiful thing as well. I don’t feel quite as scared now.

  7. Ellen says:

    Thanks for your interesting experience. It has helped me. In the past two months i have attended 6 wakes for people who have died of varies causes: car accidents, natural and just

    wierd situations. Ages were 20 to 60. I truely hope these folks all found the peaceful feeling you talk about. I blelieve in God and hope there is a “gate-way” to a better place. God Bless You..~

    Hi Ellen, I am so sorry to hear of all the loss you have had in your life in the past while. I do believe each will have found peace and serenity in a world of loven

  8. candice conners says:

    My son passed away on June 8th 2012. He was only 23. I am looking foreward to my death so much. No one can understand that. I really am ok with dying. Your story is a wonderful testimonlal to everythingng I know it will be! Thank you!

  9. Joyce Auclair says:

    I have never had a near death experience but have been witness to my mother’s passing 10 years ago. I remember when I first entered the room; she was breathing heavy and fast. She was scared I think but as she got closer she became much calmer. Our family gathered around her and without words we held hands, encircling her in her bed. I will never forget that moment…everyone one was so peaceful and I was thinking at that moment how beautiful it was.. I have since had contact with my spiritual Mom. This was also a very comforting and AMAZING experience. If you ever have the time. Look up Maureen Hancock, spirit medium. She is fantastic and it will make you a believer…It did me… Best of Luck!

  10. Mia says:

    This is a wonderful post. I am printing this out, to give to my mom, for when that day comes, that my father will die. He too is so close to that door. I know reading this will bring her peace. Thank you.

    Hi Mia, it is I that thank you. Hearing that I have actually helped some on is a comfort. I pray your mother has many wonderful healthy days ahead

  11. Robyn says:

    I may only be at a young age, but I have started to worry about what it is like to die. My grandad recently passed and i have also witnessed my beloved ones pass on. I found his very welcoming.
    Thank you!
    Welcome to the blog, hope to hear from you again

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  13. Charlie McDaniel says:

    I looked on-line today searching out “I feel like my death is soon”… I’ve become very detached an withdrawn over the past few weeks (actually 3 months), I just have this feeling that my time is up… I’m 61 years old, have some health issues, but healthy. Am I crazy keeps passing my mind, but really, I’m not sad, depressed or fearful. I’m mostly at peace… I just don’t know how to best provide for my little dog when I’m gone.. otherwise, now if fine.
    Hi Charlie and welcome to the blog. I am not quite sure what to say. I am not a doctor, man of the clergy or really anything else that qualifies me to speak on anything. I am just a regular man sharing my own experiences, thoughts and feelings.
    I try to focus on living life, enjoying life and not just enduring it through to the end. There are times when we all need help in doing that. I am not suggesting you are crazy as you said you are wondering but I would suggest you may want to see your doctor. I imagine there are countless possible explanations for how you are feeling. I would think it would be very important for you not to not be in anyway embarrassed (there is no need to be) and tell your doctor everything. Personally I have great faith in the medical system knowing they can do wonders. I realize I must tell them everything. I don’t want doctors trying to treat me while being handicapped by only knowing part of the story of my symptoms. Please give that some thought
    I wish you well my friend

  14. Lilley Grey says:

    So I think I can relate to what you said. Its a very vivid memory although I could only have been about 2 or 3 at the time. I had measles and they gave me medicine to help cure it and I had an allergic reaction to the medication…..I was really sick very feverish and not well. I remember being in my moms arms and I remember being very hot and weak and then something pulling me back it went dark, very dark and I could hear voices mens voices and I am sure it was a conversation about how long someone had and it not being fair and already. Then I heard my mom’s voice and she shook me and screamed my name and as the darkness lifted my Nan’s voice saying I was just sleeping but my mom was convinced I was passing away.

    We have never spoken about it again or since but still the memory remains. What I would say was it was peaceful, soothing and pain free.

    My Nan died 12 years ago and I remember the night she died she asked me and my brother to tuck her into bed. She said her goodbyes essentially although it wasn’t obvious at the time and as I kissed her goodnight she asked me who the man in the hat standing behind me was. There was no-one there and she was 100% lucid. My nan worked out who it was but never said and died that night. A Clairvoyant later told me (unprompted) it was her dad but I am a cynic so I am not sure.

    I am fairly convinced that there is something else out there and that death is not the end.

    Hi Lilley and welcome to the blog. I thank you so much for sharing your story. It well could be along the lines of what I experienced. I still can’t explain it, but I do believe I was at least at the doorway to our next life.
    I also thank you for sharing the story of your nan. I do believe when our time comes we will be joined by Heavenly Guides be they Angels or loved ones from the other side.
    Again, thank you for sharing and I do hope to hear from you again.

  15. Farrah says:

    This is very common. I know of a story where a man crossed over and felt what you experienced long enough that when he was pulled back to “life” he was very upset with the Dr.’s. He actually committed suicide to go back.

    Hi Farrah and welcome to the blog

  16. ken says:

    hello, bill!
    my grandma passed away half a year ago and since then on i couldnt help but thinking about death. like how would it feel like, what would it be after i died etc so i decided to google about it and here i am!
    truthfully i’m afraid of death. thinking about it makes me shiver, and the thought of hell scares the sh-t out of me. somehow reading about your experience makes me feel a lil bit calmer. thank you for sharing.
    i cant say anything about wishing you live long or such, because i believe God has already made a kind of timetable of who will go back to Him when. but i hope that you’ll be living a happy and healthy life until then.
    Hhi Ken and welcome to the blog. I thank you for taking the time to leave your comment. It is gratifying to hear my ramblings may have helped someone in any way, it makes this whole effort worth while.
    I think fearing death, the uncertainty of what lies beyond can be a very natural human feeling. I have been granted extra time to I suppose get used to the idea of my own passing. I can say I no longer fear it but I do dread the thought of it. I do have a wonderful life hear and I am just not ready to give that up.
    As you point out it is like our physical bodies do have an expiry date and there is nothing we can do to change that. All we can change is what we do with or time between now and then. We can live life or we can endure it, that choice is our.
    Hope to hear more from you.

  17. Cristian says:

    Hello Bill,
    My name is Cristian and I am glad you are still alive and I hope you will be for a long time from now on.I can tell you that I have had some strange experiences during my sleep.Some say it’s about a diseas called sleep paralysis.I hane never contacted any doctor so far but let me tell what is all about.First of all I must tell you that all these strange experiences are happening when I am tired,because I sleep only few hours a night.During my dreams I often see myself levitating ,then floating up in the air,or flying with a huge speed.But what is really strange about it is that I know it is not quite a real dream because when I start levitating ,floating up in the air or flying I always put my hand on my heart and I can not fell any heartbeat.only when I come down to heart I feell that my heart is starting to beat again.I made an EKG an the cardiologists said there is nothing wrong with my heart,but I am absolutely sure that during these experiences my heart is not beating.What I fell during these floating and flying experiences is very confusing.Sometimes I am scared,sometimes I am happy but most of the times ,no matter the feelings I ‘m having ,I am totally aware and conscious and I can controll my landings from these flying experiences.I do not know what is all about but I know that something it’s not right about me.

    Hi, I thank you for taking the time to leave your most interesting comment. I am not a doctor or any such and can only share my own experiences. I do know the importance of proper sleep. Our bodies, our minds nothing can properly function without it. I have sleep apnea which is only one of numerous sleep disorders for which doctors have helped me tremendously.
    Please see a doctor as soon as possible. You need proper sleep.
    As for the floating out of your body, I really can’t speak to that, I just don’t know. I do know Vi’s sister talks of having had several such experiences.
    Please see a doctor

  18. Cole says:

    Hi Bill, I write this the night after a very terrifying experience. In my ignorance, I found a few mushrooms and decided to cook th and eat them. I had searched pnline to see if they were poisonous and they seemed like they were fine, but a few hours later I had serious stomach pains and intestinal distress. It was probably one of the worst pains I’v ever felt. I’m only 14 years old, and I also served a few to my parents that I still liv with. I was the only one that had a reacion to it, but I ate many more than my parents. I later did some further research and I think it’s very possible that I ate a mushroom that causes kidney and liver failure after a brief period of feeling fine. This scares me, but I remember thinking that if this is going to kill me, I accept it. I don’t care about the pain anymore as I recognize that it is temporary. The only thing I’m worried about is leaving my parents after all that they have done for me. In the morning we are going to a poison control center to acess the situation. Thank you for giving me aome comfort, as now if I do die, I don’t believe that it will be yhat unpleasant of a situation.

    Cole, I know nothing about mushrooms other than the are nothing to fool with. Unless you have someone that can tell you definitively that they are safe to eat. Get to a hospital, take some of the mushrooms with you. Better to be safe than sorry

  19. Jason says:

    I do not remember what it was like for me, but apparently I have died twice. Thank you for writing this, it was a fantastic read. I know that you were talking about it being peaceful, I just do not want you leaving us to soon. I hope your health is well, and you are having all good days. I also hope you are still keeping this current, I found it to be very uplifting and positive….anyway God Bless and stay well my friend.

  20. Eric says:

    Hey man,
    I just wanted to say I thank you for the words you told Charlie back in May..”.I try to focus on living life, enjoying life and not just enduring it through to the end. There are times when we all need help in doing that.” I really needed to hear that, as enduring life is not living, and that is what it is becoming for me, due to the pressure of life…finances…etc.It has become endurance, rather than life.

    I have lost many, but my Dad, my best friend, and another good friend alwahas always stood out from the others as they were close to me.
    My best friend died of cancer at 37. All he wanted was to live. Whatever it took. I was with him his last evening. When I saw the familiar look as my Dad had that passed years earlier in ICU I knew he was gone. Their is a familiar look on our faces when the spirit has gone. My other good friend died alone, and I wasn’t there as it was an accident. He was a good dude that was dealt a bad hand and he never recovered, so he dealt with that through alcohol.
    All I can hope for is that I will laugh again with all of them in the spirit world again. I miss them.
    I am 39 btw, so these things happen to folks younger that 50+

    I appreciate your blog, as your experiences have helped answer some questions about when it ends for us. Sad that it does end, but it helps to know of the experiences of those who have made that journey and came back from that road we will all eventually take. Thanks
    Hi Eric, welcome to the blog and I thank you for sharing as you have. You have certainly experienced your of loss and my heart goes out to you.
    I am glad to hear you found some of my words to be helpful. I had to go back what to see what it was I said to Charlie. I remind you I am not a doctor or anything but a man sharing my own thoughts, feelings and beliefs. At the beginning of your comment you quoted the essence of what I was trying to say.
    Life is short, we need to make the best of what we have to ensure we enjoy, LIVE it to the fullest. We need to do what ever it takes to make that possible. Reaching out for any sort of help when needed can be one of the most effective ways of doing that. If that needed help is available in the medical community so be it. I am all in for that. I am not going to let my personal pride stand in the way. That was a big and difficult life lesson for me to learn.
    If you feel backed into a corner reach out and there will be a helping hand. Right here can be but one resource should you wish.
    All my best to you my friend

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    Dying man’s Daily Journal – What it feels like to die | Dying mans daily journal

  22. Kembani says:

    Hi Bill, Maybe this life is just a dream after-all

    welcome to the blog. Now wouldn’t that be something

  23. Samantha says:

    I was 7 years old at the time. My family and I took a weekend trip to a lake. I remember being so excited that I didn’t fully acknowledge my father when he told me to be careful of the undertow. There was a sign that was posted warning swimmers. At that time in my life I had never stepped foot into a lake or another big body of water. I slipped away and went right in. Went as far as my little feet could touch then all of a sudden the floor dropped out from underneath me. I remember that day so vividly, even 27 years later. My immediate response was survival. I remember myself panicking and just trying to get my mouth out of water so I could yell for help and catch a breath of air. It just wasn’t happening. I could see my family still unpacking unaware of what was going on. I kept thinking if I could just yell……and right under I would go again. It wasn’t long (maybe a minute or less in reality) before i couldn’t fight anymore. My exact last thought was “well, I guess this is it”. My fight ended. I saw nothing. Next thing you know I was being dragged out of the water by no one other than my aunt who is mentally handicapped and also could not swim. She had floaties on. No one else saw what happened. If it wasn’t for her my parents would have buried their young daughter.
    The part that stuck out to me was how I went from fighting with all my might to acceptance. Ever since then I have always been aware of my mortality. I am afraid of death….no one wants to die….but I do also know that I will accept it when it happens. I appriciate your blog and all the comments. We all have a “connection” with death through our expirences. It is one I don’t think I would trade though. It was a gift because had I not gone through that I’m not sure I would have truly lived afterwards. I try to soak up every moment i can and I refuse to let life just pass me by. I DO stop and smell the flowers!

    Hello Samantha, welcome to the block and I thank you for sharing your story. It must have been absolutely terrifying. Thank God for your Aunt, a hero for you and your family.
    Each story shared helps bring a little more clarity and understanding to this most difficult topic. Dying is a fate that ultimately we all face in our own time. The more understanding we can have of the end process, I can only hope may ease the burden of facing that time.
    As I lie here now, I can say I do not fear death. I have my beliefs that death is just a transition, changing addresses if you will. I am a little nervous about any pain my physical body will be going through. Reading of your acceptance at the end is reassuring.
    I really am glad you found my blog. I do hope you will return and share more with us.

    • Samanthann says:

      Well I wasn’t done yet. Pushed post too soon.
      Anyhow my mother had a heart attack at 52. Five years ago now. She had a quadruple bypass and had congestive heart failure afterwards for sometime. She told me that she never once thought she would ever be at that point where she would possibly face death. She said it never even occurred to her that she would one day die. She has had many regrets since having her traumatic experience. Mainly that she wished she would have lived more fully and slowed down. it was a beautiful wake up call.
      Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you are doing well

      I am sorry to hear of all your mother has gone through. I can relate to your comment about the beautiful wake up call and the regrets. Our situations seem so very similar. Please give your mother my best. Please tell her, I would welcome any thoughts she may have and be willing to share

  24. susan says:

    Dear Bill;
    I felt inspired by your experience. I also had a similar experience. When I was 10 years old, I loved to play practical jokes on my little sister. I stupidly thought it would be funny to hang off of a hook on the garage door by my t-shirt and pretend to be in some distress as the door was automatically opened. In my mind I thought I would only be dangling harmlessly by my tshirt. I didn’t know that it would force my t-shirt up over my head and leaving me to strangle by my tshirt. As I was losing consciousness, I remember thinking, “so this is what it must feel like to die by hanging” and feeling terrified by the prospect that I was going to die. Gradually, I started to feel that calm peaceful feeling that you had described and felt myself floating out of my body towards the beautiful blue sky. I heard my grandmother ( who had passed away the year before) telling me that it wasn’t my time and as I slowly I felt myself floating back down into my body there was a feeling of regret. I found myself on the ground with my tshirt torn in the back from the weight of my body tearing it off the hook. I had a terrible headache from the impact of falling on the hard garage floor. I felt stupid and foolish for what I had done and have never told another person until now what I did.
    Another experience I heard about death was later on when I became a nurse and I had the priviledge to meet a wonderful patient who had come in with cardiac arrest. He described the experience differently than yours. He said one moment, he felt a blinding pain in his chest then “fade to black” and then he woke up a week later in the ICU. I would hate to believe his version is the way death happens where nothing is experienced and it’s game over. I hold on to my experience because it was so much more beautiful. I’m glad that we shared the same experience. I had lost a lot of loved ones in my life (second cousins, uncles etc.) Although I was heartbroken over their passing, I feel sure that they’re all in a better place, a place where they are no longer in pain. As a result I don’t feel afraid anymore about death.

    Hi Susan. First, I thank God that T shirt ripped and you survived an incident which could have ended so much worse.
    I thank you for taking the time such a personal and private time in your life.
    You say you have never before shared this experience and I feel so honoured that you would pick my little spot here to open up and share as you have. Thank you.
    It is some how reassuring to here the experiences of others such as yourself. I am totally with you in just knowing in my heart there is something beyond. “We” carry on beyond this physical life. More awaits us. I do not fear dying. I am a little nervous maybe even a little afraid of the process. That meaning any physical pain involved within my physical body as the transition takes place.
    I know there is something more and like you, I like to believe it is the Heaven we all believe in.
    My beliefs have made it so much easier, as with you in dealing with the passing of my parents, brother, cousin and so many more.
    Again, I thank you for your comment, sharing as you have.
    It seems our beliefs and experiences are so similar that I do hope to hear from you again. Please stay in touch

  25. Sandra says:

    Hi I am 57, I remember being in the hospital going for cancer surgery, I was scared and did not want to go to the hospital, thinking if I did not admit myself then it’s not true, anyways it took multiple telephone calls from a very kind nurse/sister to get me in the hospital. Got my room and I was sleeping, I just remember, saying to myself what happens when you die, of course I was dreaming, the dream was I was in a tunnel and at the end of the tunnel there was a bright light, someone told me, if I could see the light and make it to it, then I would be ok. That’s when I woke up, never had the dream again.
    I saw my dad pass away, he was in a coma, had called everyone to let them know dad did not have much time, as my brothers arrived, I left them with my dad and I walked the corridors of the hospital, I remember my dad’s doctor asking me why I was not with my dad, and I said very confidently that my dad would tell me when it would be time. As I walked the corridor I got to experience someone who needed to be resuscitated seeing how the code how the nurses and doctors move and how did worked on the patient. I was in the corridor and I got to experience it, from the corridor, I thought at the point my dad wanted me to learn a lesson. Sometime after I walked into my dad’s room, told him I was back, and saw my dad, take one of his last breath, wait several minutes, take another breath and wait sometime, we my brothers and I thought it had been a long time and so my brother decided take off his oxygen mask, as he did this, my father took another breath, my brother in a panic put back his oxygen mask. The release of his excrement were next and a few minutes after doctor confirmed that my dad had passed away. What I experienced was comforting, he did not suffer, he went into a coma, his body let go and few days later passed away softly. I am not afraid of dying and don’t know if there is something, whatever it is, I won’t find out until it’s my time. Last September I lost my mom, she was 91, she died in her favourite chair, in her own apartment, watching tv, she would fall asleep in her chair as it was more comfortable than a bed. The coroner told us, my mom felt her massive heart attack for a few seconds and passed away. She never wanted to go into a nursing home, I am happy for my mom, she died exactly how everyone should die, dying being happy and not knowing it. Good luck to you my friend.

    Hello Sandra and welcome to the blog. I thank you so very much for taking the time to share your deeply personal story. This sort of sharing I am sure benefits, bringing a level of both understanding and comfort to many. I hope you will visit again and please feel free to share as you will.

  26. j says:

    I’m 17 and I’m really afraid of dying. I would stay up all night thinking about death, I would cry because of it. A friend of mine have tried comforting me, she told me that we wouldn’t really know when we’re dead, but that’s what I’m afraid of, the fear of not knowing, and being gone forever. It just terrifies me. I don’t believe in resurrection bc I don’t believe in God. I don’t know what to do

    • lypenner says:

      Dear J,
      I wanted to respond to you even though I’m not the one who writes this blog. I have been thinking and praying for you since I read your words. I wanted you to know that you are not alone. It’s ok if you don’t believe in God, you’re still not alone and you’ll be ok in your struggle. God still loves you and get you through your fears even if you don’t believe in resurrection or in God.

      Death is a really strange thing to ponder. It terrifies us all, you’re sure not alone in that fear! We don’t really know what happens after death. I am 54 and I struggle with chronic headaches. I’m not so much scared of death…but I am often really afraid that the chronic headaches is all there is. But my experience shows that there’s something greater than my troubles. It’s love. For me, that love is shown to me through the love of my friends, but also through the love of Jesus who knows what I’m going through cause he went through it all himself. He’s kind of like your friend who is sticking with you and trying to comfort you.

      I’m not trying to change your mind about God, just telling you what my experience is. From my perspective, I know you’re not alone and I know that Love is stronger than what you’re afraid of. My mom died two months ago today, and it’s so weird that she’s not here anymore. But somehow she’s with me in my heart and in all the goodness she passed on to me, so that’s one proof that love is greater. Death didn’t win. I’ll pray for you that Love will win the battle in your heart.

      Very well said Lydia. Thank you for stepping up as you have in my absence. Sorry I missed your phone call the other day. I was as you may have guessed sleeping.

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