Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Deflated expectations of others


I was out sitting on the front step a few minutes ago and a thought hit me. I have come straight to the comuputer to write it now or with my memory it woulc very well be gone shortly.

This sounds very deep and phylisophical, but what is life?

Very simply it is the time we spend here on this earth between birth or conception and when we die. Simply that, it is the time we spend here. That is a simple fact that applies to every single person with no exceptions.

Ah, but there are exceptions in how we choose to spend that time. We can squander and waste it or we can live it. Circumstances, position, finances have nothing to do with living life. All of those things just set the stage  or the setting in which we can choose to live our lives or we can choose to waste them away. I know what I am trying to say but am not sure if I am using the wording to really describe it. I have often heard it said time is our most valuable asset or commodity. It is only of late that I have been able to really appreciate that fact.

Here is an official “Bill” statistic. OK, what is a “Bill” statistic? Oh, it is extremely scientifically reached. I mull a thought around in my head for 15 or 20 seconds come up with something that sounds about right to me, and there you have it a “Bill” statistic. Now according to “Bill” an estimated 2/3 to 3/4 of the population are not really living life. Oh, for sure, their bodies a physically alive and they get up and fight their way through each day and show every appearance of being physically alive. Physically alive they are. There is a fine point here that is difficult to grasp and it is only of late that I have actually been able to really see it. It takes more than being physically alive to live life. So many just plod along each day struggling to make it through that day that their lives just become a series of one crappy day after another.

I know that for myself, I so often became so entrenched in the events of the moment that I lost sight of the big picture. How do we stop doing that? Really our lives are often seen as what we are living at any given moment. There are all the sayings like, yesterday is but a memory, tomorrow but a dream, all we have is the present. A great saying, great advise. But, what do you do if your present life sucks. What do you do?

You continue to live it, you sometimes just blindly plough ahead. You live it the best way you can getting enjoyment where you can, all the while knowing this will change. That is one of the constants in life, nothing remains the same, everything over time will change. It is almost like having a big elephant standing in the middle of a big room. The elephant dominates the room becomes like the main focal point of the room. If you are standing in a small room with a huge elephant in it how are you going to be able to see anything else. By taking the time, making the effort to look around and see the other wonders and beautiful things in the room (our lives). There is no denying the fact the elephant is there and must be dealt with. Even with it there it does not change the other beauty contained in the room it if anything, just over shadows it in our minds.

We fill our lives with expectations, which is a hope or desire we carry with in us. I know this is very easy to say and so very hard to do. We don’t have to allow external issues affect our internal feelings often because our own life expectations weren’t met.

I really seem to have gotten on a roll here and was going to give examples from my own life to try and explain what I am talking about. It seems I have tired myself right out and need my nap. Seeing my neurologist this afternoon and need to get rested up for that.

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3 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Deflated expectations of others

  1. Chuck says:

    Bill

    You make a good point about living life to the fullest rather than plodding along day to day just getting thru the days. I think it can be the easy way out for most people to just plod along lifes path and not take life and enjoy it for what you can make of it. Yes I said for what you can make of it as there is no one that can live your life for you or make the decision to enjoy life.
    You touch on another human fault, expectations, a lot of us form expectations in our lives that may be related to work, play or family, however we do not share those expectations thru comunication with those that may also be effected by your expectations.
    In business you may expect the people working for us to work to the levels within your expectations of them, but few employers take the time to layout what they really expect of their employees. We tend to do the same with friends and family, and without shareing our expectations we become disappointed that they do not, say or provide whatever it was we expected.
    My past wife always told me, if you want to prevent the disappointments, communicate your expectations. I still to this day cannot seem to communicate what I expect of my family or freinds, it seems easier at times to live with the selfmade problems of life. I hope one day I will communicate better my feelings and expectations to others.

  2. Julie says:

    Six months ago I met a man whom I believed was my soul mate. We were on a journey to find love together. We talked of getting married, of where we wanted to live, of the home we wanted, our goals, we shared most everything about our selves. I was to begin living with him in three weeks. Last week he was diagnosed with cancer and he believes his time is very limited. Now he no longer communicates with me. He has completely shut me out of his life. I feel as if I failed as a friend and I thought I had become his best friend. I just don’t understand why.

  3. Mel says:

    Very well said, Chuck. I appreciate how you explained that–and obviously needed to hear that. Ty sir.

    And Julie….I’m so very sorry–for you, for him….for the relationship. My experience is similiar to your fella’s. I needed to grieve. I didn’t ever want to affect someone I so loved the way that I knew I was going to affect them…..it was protection for me, for them. It’s a hard thing to allow anyone to walk through cancer with you. The disease alienates you–and what the disease doesn’t accomplish, the person with the disease attempts to accomplish. Or at least that’s how it played out in my life.
    Please know you’re welcome here–good people, caring people frequent here……people who’ll walk through the scary parts with you. The disease doesn’t have to become a wedge between you and your love, yaknow?

    And Bill…..I heard it over and over and over again–‘Live today like there’s no tomorrow’. I never really ‘got it’ until my tomorrow was threatened. I ‘got it’ at different levels as things unfolded. But truly, I believe that was The Big Guy’s doings, yaknow? I was only ready to understand those ‘levels’ as I became ready through the experiences.
    Maybe that’s simply because I’m an experiential learner…..dunno.
    But really, for me “when the student is ready, the teacher appears” applies hugely.
    Living life sounds easy.
    Staying in today and enjoying everything that’s present IN today……sounds easy.
    Even you noted that colours are more vibrant, smells are more fragrant…..there’s another ‘level’ in the lesson learning that you found yourself awakening to, eh?
    (((((((((((((( Bill ))))))))))))

    Can ya tell I’ve MISSED being here? 😉

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