Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Making the most of life


I got some news from my doctor that was not all that good, but I needed to hear it.

Firstly, I never want to bury my head in the sand and just pretend every thing is just fine. The no news is good news, just doesn’t work for me. I want, no I need to know what is going on.

So the old ticker isn’t ticking quite the way it has been. So what is new with that, I have known that for a long time now. This heart of mine has been through a lot, has endured a lot, but IT IS STILL TICKING AWAY. It has indeed served me well and is still doing so. OK, so it isn’t beating quite as efficiently as it has, but it is still beating, isn’t that what is the most important thing.

I needed to hear that news as I do realize I was in fact becoming much to complacent about this whole thing. Things had settled down and my world is fine.

Hearing that news doesn’t mean my world isn’t still just fine. Actually, my world is great, I am a very lucky man. Now it is just a given when I say I am a lucky my that I mean by having the wonderful family that I do. Here though when I say I am lucky, I suppose I mean I am blessed, my heart just seems to keep defying the odds and goes about it’s business, almost irregardless of what it goes through. It may be showing a little wear and tear but it is still carrying on with the business of keeping me alive. Now, I have to like that.

I attribute much of it to the countless prayers that have been said from me, from around the world. I thank everyone so very much. There is no doubt the power of prayer is an awesome thing. The Good Lord is obviously keeping me here for some reason for which I am grateful I still have a lot of living to do.

This has all served to give me a much need wake up call, sadly I didn’t even know I needed one. I can now easily see I did.  Don’t allow yourself to fall into that feeling or sense of complacency where you start to take life for granted, be it your own life or that of others. Live life, don’t let it somehow just manage to slip by and away on you. Every single moment that slips by is gone forever. How many think, ah, I have lots of moments left. Letting ong to by is no big deal. Trust me when I say, when you know your moments are limited, suddenly they all, each and everyone of them take on a whole new meaning and importance.

How many moments do I have left? I don’t know. What I do know is that I have this moment and I am going to make the most of it.

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5 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Making the most of life

  1. Mel says:

    I didn’t feel so ‘blessed’ when folks around me told me I was the ‘lucky one’ to know that my life was limited. It just goes to show how deluded we make ourselves–ALL of our lives are limited, theirs, yours……mine.
    ‘Blessed’ to know a timeframe?
    Even that’s not certain so I’m not sure how the disease makes me ‘blessed’…..other than I’m a tad less deluded inbetween periods of deluded complacency?

    I figure it’s okay to be a bit sad/melancholy as we wade through those deluded moments–and I hold in my heart things like Sarah gave me/us:

    “I go with anticipation and a sense of adventure that I did not expect. We will all be all right…I know it now. Thank you. I love you all.”

    This is but one part of my adventure.

    I’m gonna draw on sidewalks whilest I have the chalk and can.
    You can have some of mine if you like!

    🙂

    Mel, it would be an honor to share you chalk. Your comment here really has me thinking, on and off all day. You used the word complacency, I think that is an excellent way of describing how most of us live our lives. that is right up until the point where something smacks us right up the side of the head and wakes use up.
    When I was younger, I can remember thinking of how I never wanted to know when I was going to die, just let it happen quickly and unexpectedly, giving me no time to think of it or worry about it.
    Well my life certainly hasn’t seemed to work out that way. I have been given lots of time to think on it, still I have my periods of complacency between medical events. Had to make me just go hmm

  2. Irene says:

    Dear Bill,
    The way I see it is that So I’m filling my days up with all kinds of good stuff–trying hard not to waste a moment. I’m working at not running around willy-nilly, but doing “stuff” that matters to me and to my fellow-man. I don’t always succeed, but I keep trying.
    Thinking of you always. Praying for blessings to be sent your way, Wiseman.
    Irene

    Bless you Irene, you are an inspiration and have the right idea: ” I want to KNOW that I have lived before I die.” How many of us plod through our days, putting up with or enduring life as opposed to actually living it. Good for, you my friend.

  3. Jo Hart says:

    Hey There, I’m back. Have been on shall I say, go slow mode lately. Have finished up at work and have been keeping myself pottering, and purposfully not picking up the computer as I just didn’t want to touch one for a while.
    Feeling quite weird about not working, I’m kinda always feeling like I’ve forgotten something. Adjustment I suppose.
    My Dad is going through all of this of what you have mentioned here. He’s in complacent mode, but he has his heart specialist appointment this afternoon. He unfortunately has had a bad case of the Swine Flu (that pig flu from mexico) not sure if you have had a pandemic of it over there, but it’s been rife here in Australia, and unfortunately knocks the socks, if not killing people here in Aus. Especially the sick like my dad. Thankfully he was admitted to hospital in time and is starting to get on the mend. However his heart has been weakened and his Kidneys are failing, so we will just have to see what all the specialist have to say. I’m making all my moments with him count as I have to realise I may only have “limited moments” left with him. I hate this thought…

    HI Jo, I am so very sorry to hear of your father’s medical condition. He, you both are in my prayers. The specialists these days can do things that in my mind at least are almost miraculous.
    I think you are taking the right approach when you say:
    “I’m making all my moments with him count as I have to realise I may only have “limited moments” left with him”.
    I know he will and I am sure you will appreciate those moments in time to come.You are in my prayers and I ask you please keep us updated.

  4. Hey, Bill

    You are in my thoughts and prayers regularly.

    Your post reminds me of something my Dear Mother has said repeatedly: We know not the day or the hour, and so every time we can smile, we should smile.”

    Perhaps simplistic, but, so very true, and full of wisdom.

    A very wise, a very powerful message. Your mother is obviously a very good hearted and wise woman.

  5. Mel says:

    Oh geeze, Jo…..

    ((((((((((((((( Jo ))))))))))))))))

    *sending prayers and healing thoughts*

    Been thinkin’ about ya–glad some of that adjustment is happening. Slow and easy, enjoy some of the finer things in life, eh?

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