Had an appointment at the heart failure clinic this morning. Memory guy here, can’t remember what exactly it was called by seems the heart has taken quite a drop in pumping efficiency or pumping strength. A while back, went for a test an am now getting the results.
Somehow it seems almost strange, I do feel I am ready for the end whenever the Good Lord should decide my time is up. Even feeling that way, as I do, it still seems to give me a little bit of a jolt when I learn of my condition worsening.
With the heart failure it is not like a stead decline. It is more like you face a series of plateaus, each though is lower than the previous. As you drop from one you seem to have a leveling off period fo who knows how long. Suddenly seemingly out of nowhere bang, you fall off your plateau landing on the one below and the cycle starts all over again. I seem to stay on each level long enough to get comfortable with it and I suppose often maybe a little complacent in my thinking and suddenly down you go again.
When ever I seem to go over one of these edges, it like a great sense of more urgency hits me. A need to get more things done.