Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Are you the person you want to be

While I was off line for a while there, I often wrote myself little notes. Thoughts or ideas that hit me about posts I would like to write. I have been flipping through those and realize in many cases I didn’t write enough detail in the note as now I just can’t remember what my point was. I also realize I should have written down where I got the idea from, to give credit where it is due. Now I can’t remember, I some how doubt if they are “Bill” originals but, huh, who knows, well at least not me.

This is one of those ideas that came to me or is at least written in my notes.

I would ask any that may read this to take a minute and just sit back and think about yourself. Think about the person you are both as you see yourself in your own life and in the lives of those you interact with. I am not talking about how you see yourself career wise, your financial or maritial position, nothing like that. I am talking about how do you see yourself as a person.

Let me expand on that. How do you see yourself as a person, when it comes to human emotions: patience, sympathy, empathy, the ability to show love or feel love…… That is almost an endless list. I think you get the idea of what I am trying to say. So again I ask how do you see youself as a person? If you honestly look at yourself, your feelings and emotions, did you come across anything that you found yourself saying well I wish I had more of this or I wish I could show more of that.

Let’s just take patience as but one example. How often have I heard comment like: “I wish I had more patience”. Now that could be applied your dealings with your kids, family, friends, coworkers really anyone.

Now chances are if you have done and honest complete assessment of yourself, you have likely be way to hard on yourself. Maybe, you are like me. The first time I did this, I actually wrote down every emotion I could think of. I then quickly and I suppse glibbly  ran down the list. When I had finished I realized I had given myself a check mark in every category. Hey, that means I am perfect, hum. So that means any and every time some thing comes up in my life, I react correctly and the rest of the world is wrong every time.  Hmm, have to do a little more thinking here.

I went back and did the list again. I did a little meditation on each and realized, hmm, maybe I am not perfect after all. Me, perfect, now that is a really loud, LOL.

Hopefully everyone may have done an honest self assessment. Not being too hard on yourself but also honestly recognizing any, shall we call them”short comings” by your honest and objective standards.

Now, I change the question. Are you the person you would like to be or want to be? If not, WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT?

I can already hear the reasons (excuses) pouring out. “I can’t help being the way I am, that is the way I was brought up”. Phooey, just because you have done things a certain way in the past doesn’t mean you have to continue doing them that way today. Or, “I can’t help the way I act, he/she did this and make me react as I did. Again, phooey. No one can make us react in any particular way. Things may be done that are not to my liking, but how I choose to react or how I choose to allow it to affect me, IS TOTALLY UP TO ME.

Can we “recreate” ourselves, YES. Is it easy, no, but the point is it can be done.

I ask a final time: Are you the person you want to be? If not, what are you going to do about it?

8 Responses to Dying Man’s Daily Journal – Are you the person you want to be

  1. Juanita says:

    Thank you very much for helping me and giving me something of importance to think about.
    Love Juanita

    Juanita, my friend you are more than welcome. I appreciate the emails you send along with your comments here

  2. Cat says:

    It’s always good to be reminded that one should never stop trying to improve oneself. I know I need to work on being more patient in certain situations, being a better listener, procrastinating less, and being better about telling my friends and family how much I love and appreciate them. On the positive side, I have in the past year or two improved greatly in some areas, such as not allowing the little annoyances of daily life to get to me, and being more productive both at work and at home.

  3. Mel says:

    I read this last evening and couldn’t comment.

    Actually, it’s not that I ‘couldn’t’. See, I ‘inventory’ character assets and defects on a regular basis. Nightly. And folks tend to think I’m just being ‘tough’ on Mel.

    I can’t convince folks that a simple inventory isn’t an indicator of my worth and value in my relationship with G-d. Folks don’t tend to get that. They’re chronically telling me to ‘ease up’.
    Easing up means I give myself an excuse to be LESS than ‘all that I am, all that I was designed to be’. And I won’t do that. Inventorying where I’m at with ME in my dealings with other people is something I either stay on top of, or I end up getting in the way of being of service to them. That’d be uncool….and sad, frankly.

    So, am I where I wanna be, need to be…am I being all that I AM?

    What am I doing about it?
    Staying on top of it. Practice, practice, practice. Even when I don’t feel like it. Even if I wanna do different cuz I feel ‘entitled’ to do different….

  4. Irene says:

    Dear Bill,
    Change is good…Taking an “inventory” on a fairly frequent basis acts to remind me that “crap” will happen, but that’s not important. It’s what I do with the “crap” that’s primary. The key word, of course, is DO. Do something…anything… but don’t do nothing. The hard part is catching myself before I react and asking myself: On my death-bed, will this incident matter? Or even, will this matter in 20 years from now? If not, then let it go.
    Our priest said a very interesting thing yesterday. He said that we are all priests and we had an huge and awesome job to do: to bring the Word to the world. He said that his job is relatively easy as he serves a parish, a self-contained little unit that has boundaries. But, as Christian lay people, we have the whole world to bring along on our “return trip”. He said that our “job” was far harder than his. I’ll take on that responsibility and make sure that my actions/re-actions prove that I am a “priest” and that my destination is to head back to my heavenly home. Taking inventory just makes the journey more interesting as I watch myself evolve.
    Thanks for the posting, Wiseman.

  5. Mel says:

    Ohhhhh….I really like what Irene’s priest said.

    Thanks for sharing that Irene…..muchly!

  6. Lynn says:

    I don’t know how I came across your blog but I’m glad that I did. I will continue to read. There are SO MANY things that I need to work on in my own life and I thank you for “making that list.”

    Charlotte, NC

  7. elizabeth w. says:

    Dear Bill,
    My husband sent me a link to your blog. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I have a fatal degenerative brain disease. I don’t know how long I have to live. Perhaps 3 to 5 years. I also have been given a blessing by God to be able to let go of many worries that took up a lot of my time. I have no close friends anymore but I have a wonderful supportive husband and a few family members who are supportive. Others I have recently been able to detach myself more for my need for their approval. Death is writing his name on my dance card. I feel that I am being prepared for another journey.

    A wise person once told me a story about a woman who lived a long life, bore children who bore grandchildren. After she died, she found herself coming up to the surface of a swimming pool. She lifted her head above the water and saw many friends sitting around the pool. In that world her life that had lasted 80 years on earth happened within a few seconds. She rose out of the pool to greet her friends and tell them of her experience on earth. Keep blogging. Thanks.

    Hello Elizabeth and welcome to the blog. I am sorry to hear of your medical condition. I congratulate you on your ability to recognize the time you have now as preparation time for the journey that lies ahead. I know this can be a difficult time, with some days or even weeks being better than others.
    I pray you can keep the mind set that you are indeed preparing for a journey. As with any journey you plan on what you want to pack in your suit case to take with you and determine what it is you don’t need and will leave behind. This journey is only different in that it is your heart you are packing, filling it with feelings of love and ridding it of anything else as you just don’t need it.
    I am so glad to hear that you have your husband and family there to support you, it does make this time so much easier. It is difficult I know but I urge you to try to remember, they are hurting also and are in need of support.
    As for loving supportive friends, you have come to the right place and are very welcome. I am so happy that this has become more than just me. It is a community of loving friends.
    I invite you to, no, I ask you to please share your journey with us here on the blog.

  8. Mel says:


    I’m glad you joined us, Elizabeth–I hope we get to hear more from you.

    No doubt there’s another journey for all of us. It’s good to have company along the way.

    ((((((((((( elizabeth ))))))))))))))

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