House has been pretty busy the past few days. We have been blessed with a house full of company. Vi’s son Michael, daughter Lynelle and two grandchildren Seth and Sadie. Pluse dear friends Alex and Jane Anderson from Norway House. It was nice to see them all. I am so glad our house is large enough that we can offer our hospitality to visitors on a regular basis.
Often the lions share of the “entertaining” falls to Vi as I still make sure I get my naps etc.. Our general rule of thumb is, while in our home, you become like a member of the family so help yourself. If you are hungry or thirsty feel free to go through the fridge or cupboards. If you see somthing that looks good, eat it or drink it as the case may be. If you don’t see anything then I guess it sucks to be you as we apparently don’t have it. That I am aware of that has never happened as the cupboards and fridge are generally pretty well stocked.
With being gone from the blog for about a month, so many wonderful comments have been left I will never be able to respond to them all. But know I have read and appreciate all. I am glad to see that in some ways the blog has become sort of a community bulletin board with messages being passed back and forth. I think that is great, promotes a sort of sense of community witch I like very much.
There was one comment that asked me several very good questions, that I am going to try to answer. Here is the comment from Morgan:
Does death give us a better view of the world? Does it open our hearts and minds? I have lost many loved ones and only want to know this: what is it like to live when you know you are dying?
I am struggling with this a little, not because of the question, but struggling to find the right wording to express my thoughts and feelings. This is a very personal and individual thing. What applies to me may not apply to someone else.
I have found it to be a very mind opening, attitude changing experience. I truly do see life and the world differently than I did say 10 years ago. This may sound totally crazy but if anything I would say I have found it to be a very good experience because of the very positive changes it has brought about in me. These are changes that I am sure would never have come about, without something as major as this happening. That I think is very sad. I think back over my life and remember so, so many times when I allowed myself to get so stressed out, so fired up over what I now see as a nothing event. My life could have been so much easier, so much better.
I have not always been a willing participant in bringing about these changes. The first 3 heart attacks, open heart surgery all brought about minimal and short lasting changes. The last 2 heart attacks literally forced me to slow down and with that I struggled against reduced physical limitations and still do to some extent. Change had to be forced on me before I would slow down enough to appreciate life. To recognize what was and is important to me. It is not work, it is not material possessions. It is living life, not enduring it or constantly struggling to advance in this materialistic world. It is living life, living each moment appreciating who I have in my life and the world around me. I have this “dying” thing hanging over my head but I have come to realize and appreciate I am one of the luckiest men in the world. I always have been, I just didn’t see it or appreciate it for what I had. I was just never satisfied always striving for more.
OK, it was forced on me but I have learned to slow down. Look at life for what ir really is and what is important to me. Look at the big picture and realize that individual events or circumstances don’t define my life but are merely little blips that likely don’t even warrent a single stitch on the over all tapestry that represents my life. If an event is over all so insignificant, why am I allowing mysef to be even the slightest bit upset about it as it happens?
Do I still hold grudges? No, it is not worth the time or the effort. I admit this is an area I really had to work on. I carried grudges, was angry or hurt by the actions of others in the past. Finally, I came to realize the past is the past. I can’t change it, the other person can’t change it. If it can’t be changed, by letting that anger fester inside of me, I am hurting no one but myself. I realized I was giving that person the power to carry on hurting me, well after the fact. Doesn’t mean I have to ever forget and become buddy buddy again with who ever. But, I don’t have to carry on giving them the power to control or damage my life. It is not worth it let it go.
Life is a learning experience, I am still learning as I go. I do know I am much further down the learning path than I was in the past.
I started off intending to actually write something here but somehow fell back into may comfortable rambling ways. Hope I got my message across.